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24 posts total
Uncle Duke

Josh awakened slowly. The last thing he remembered was the glint of the axe as it came down, and then... darkness. Where was he? Why was he naked? Why the hell couldn't he feel his limbs? As his vision cleared, he looked down. That's when he saw the nails. Josh began to scream.

Uncle Duke

google employee:*taking bong rip* whatever, let โ€˜em go to the fucking library if thatโ€™s not good enough

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rk: not a typewriter

@UncleDuke1969

This isnโ€™t right. This isnโ€™t even wrong.

Marc Etienne

@UncleDuke1969 and people wonder why I call all LLM's bullshit generators.

Atanas

@UncleDuke1969 FTR, this answer is technically correct.

Uncle Duke

โ€œAre you okay, maโ€™am?โ€
โ€œI think I swallowed my router.โ€
โ€œHere, take my seat.โ€

Uncle Duke

youโ€™d be smiling too if you were immortal

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FeralRobots

@UncleDuke1969 "He's a Gleason. Very hard to perish, Gleasons." - Korg, probably

Hedgewizard ๐Ÿˆ

@UncleDuke1969

"...things began to pall for him. The merry smiles he used to wear at other people's funerals began to fade. He began to despise the Universe in general, and everybody in it in particular."

-Douglas Adams, on Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged

Uncle Duke

Recently, there have been several stick-ups and one Axe murder (in the first Degree). Management has made no Secret of the need to increase security, but still havenโ€™t found the Right Guard. Finding themselves underarmed, the crime wave continues to roll on.

Uncle Duke

elon musk and linda yaccarino every time another $8 comes in

Uncle Duke

this is word for word what my last performance review said

Uncle Duke

Iโ€™m no financial expert, but it looks to me like theyโ€™re organizing a hedge fund.

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Barry

@UncleDuke1969
When you're chewing on life's gristle |
Don't grumble, give a whistle |
And this'll help things turn out for the best

Amanda Hugankiss

@UncleDuke1969 I want my potato to be playing the lead guitar lick from Comfortably Numb.

Uncle Duke

It was Timothyโ€™s second week undercover, and frankly, he was getting absolutely nowhere.

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