@Chrishallbeck
VERY relatable.

@Chrishallbeck it me

@Chrishallbeck Damn, it's me.

@Chrishallbeck Saturday Night Peever

@Chrishallbeck
Toilet's cold but urine's warm
I've been peein' a stream since I was born

It isn't all right
It's not okay
Doctor says my bladder's strange
I can fill a gallon tank
In twenty minutes, give or take

Whether it's a chino or whether it's a cargo
I'm peein my pants, peein my pants
Everyone is bothered, linoleum is blottered
I'm peein my pants, peein my pants

@Chrishallbeck : If you make this into a cartoon, and then animate it, then you can sing it!

@Chrishallbeck I'm reading the MurderBot books by Martha Wells. I think MurderBot would agree.

@Chrishallbeck

Damn it Chris.

I bet you do this on purpose don't you? 😅

That's okay. I know. I hear yah. 🙋‍♂️

@Chrishallbeck The Tin Man of Oz had a heart before, so he knew what he was missing.

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social
Not bad for a blockhead ​:neocat_wink_blep:​

@Chrishallbeck @Npars01 That’s charming. (I may do that with my friendly pup.)

@Chrishallbeck So wait... people just say this to me to make me feel better 😧

@Chrishallbeck You are my hero. <3

@Chrishallbeck there's a name for that... I wanna say.... Paul?

@Chrishallbeck #iseewhatyoudidthere

@Chrishallbeck

Don't use self service checkouts 🙂👍

@Chrishallbeck At the self-checkout, every produce item is 4011. The stores don't even train their employee clerks on produce identification. How can I, an untrained layperson, be expected to know what it is that I am buying--even though I put it on my list and carefully picked it out?

@Chrishallbeck

I never use self-check-out’ for exactly this reason. Why should I pay to be a cashier? I felt the same way when the’Bag & Save’ opened decades ago in my old neighborhood. We called it ‘Bag & Slave’.

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social

Dunning-Kruger punchline for the win! 🎊

@Chrishallbeck
I'm through listening to your naansense

@Chrishallbeck It's called Zwieback. 😅

@Chrishallbeck Adding these to the list if I ever discover I have god-like powers.

@Chrishallbeck I've been cursed to bite my tongue. Crunchy bites, that bleed. And sneezing. I'm constantly sneezing. It's always two quick sneezes, then a third. I don't know what I did or who I did it to, but I'm sorry. Unless it was something totally worth it.

@Chrishallbeck "every time you come within 100ft of a doorbell, it rings"

@Chrishallbeck oh no. They figured it out

@Chrishallbeck this is extremely @nancycomics 😂

@Chrishallbeck
"Wait... Are you male or female?"
"I... I don't know!"
"I don't know what I am, either!!!"
"But we had a child together!"
"HOW?!"
"Well, when a man and..."
"I know THAT."

@Chrishallbeck "The people will not revolt. They will not look up from their screens long enough to notice what is happening" is often attributed to George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984. However, this quote is not actually in the novel. The earliest known instance of this quote is from a 2014 stage adaptation of 1984 by Robert Icke.

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social It's the right time of the year for this kind of prank

@Chrishallbeck 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for the suggestion!
I'll be on my way in the morning to revive my grandkids' toys!

@Chrishallbeck I love it, but in my circustance, I'm the one with a baby 😅

@Chrishallbeck Oh dear. How many stones had you already thrown at them?!

@Chrishallbeck

Socks you say!

@Chrishallbeck Well, don't lose your head over it!

@Chrishallbeck Oh come on, this is terrible parenting. If that kid doesn't ring the bell the algorithm won't surface the next story anyway.

Children should learn about contorting their behavior in hopes of satisfying an unknowable algorithm at home, not on the streets.

@Chrishallbeck aw it's pebble!

@Chrishallbeck
Funny. I was talking to my partner earlier today about what to do for names if we have twins. I suggested the names Hattori and Hanzo but she countered with Like and Subscribe.

@Chrishallbeck
Of course. You have all that time...

@Chrishallbeck Bingo.

@Chrishallbeck That's fantastic right there.

@Chrishallbeck That’s my home office!

@Chrishallbeck @charles_ex

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social
Move back him very close to the behind wall

@Chrishallbeck For this alone, you are welcome in Canada.

@Chrishallbeck Hypotamoose: https://www.threadless.com/shop/@threadless/design/hypotamoose/mens/t-shirt/regular

@Chrishallbeck Mathematical!

@Chrishallbeck It's always so difficult to know for sure, Chris!

@Chrishallbeck reminds me of this old gem.
https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw