Email or username:

Password:

Forgot your password?
29 posts total
Chris Hallbeck

My son: “Dad, I can’t sleep. When I close my eyes I see the Michelin man.”

Me: “What’s so bad about the…”
*closes eyes*
“OH NO”

Show previous comments
parv

@Chrishallbeck What the hell did people do to their eyes?

<image of flying eyes with a person (myself) cowering, a la Alfred H's /The Birds/ poster>

100% that creature

@Chrishallbeck like something straight out of Little Nightmares

Chris Hallbeck

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Dym Sohin

@Chrishallbeck
✋ manage your life
👉️ manage people's expectations

Chris Hallbeck

I was doing an activity with my youngest and then told him I had to go back to work. He motioned to my laptop and said "Okay, go touch your letters daddy." which is such an amazing burn.

Show previous comments
Jens Finkhäuser

@Chrishallbeck This reminds me forcibly that my kids play "working" by propping up one side of an open book, and wiggling their fingers over the side that lies flat.

Anitranot

@Chrishallbeck my kids called my office the “kitchen mom makes money in” when they were little 😂

Chris Hallbeck

Son: "You didn't have YouTube or Minecraft when you were a kid? What did you do?"

*flashback to peeling dried glue off my hand*

Me: "Stuff."

Show previous comments
His & Hearse Press

@Chrishallbeck anyone else slide down carpeted stairs in a sleeping bag? (We were apparently not very considerate apartment occupants)

Half Cocked Law

@Chrishallbeck The key is to never stop the playlist so that you never have to think about what you actually want to listen to.

Chris Hallbeck

Date: “Your profile said you were really strong but you don’t look it.”
Me *Doesn’t eat any popcorn until the actual movie starts*
Date: 😱😱😱

Go Up