@Chrishallbeck word

@Chrishallbeck once me and a lover were making out in a cave. We get back and there was a bear right there. We'd been making out in a bear cave when the bear was out having lunch.

@Chrishallbeck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAiqBTlks8I

@Chrishallbeck the Free Candy van is here!

@Chrishallbeck here's the "haunted" house then. I think I can see the red paint LMAO. wish me luck 😉

@Chrishallbeck
I usually wonder if there's a wumpus in the "next" cave.

@Chrishallbeck damn. That's much better than my last post on Twitter which was "fuck this, I'm out" and this gif:

@Chrishallbeck "I'm taking a canoe trip with 3 buddies down in Georgia..."

@Chrishallbeck also relevant: when you mostly post TikToks from a boat for a year then disappear, people think you have sunk (true story 😅)

@Chrishallbeck

That wasn’t the moral of cocaine bear…

@Chrishallbeckbetter yet, announce your return and not your departure

@Chrishallbeck I am instantly reminded of this classic:

@Chrishallbeck
Or maybe --

"What happens if I push this button?"

@Chrishallbeck let me check for you

@Chrishallbeck Shoot. I really wish I had done this on my twitter account before I got locked out!

@Chrishallbeck I heard there’s a gru on this one… I

@Chrishallbeck it's hilarious to me that I saw this because @void_friend boosted it.... I was excitedly reading their toots about getting ready to go cold camping in lapland and then I heard NOTHING and I was like, ....did they die

@Chrishallbeck Oh no, please no! I worry about some folks on this platform enough without having to worry if they are still alive.... 😔

@Chrishallbeck "Wellll, that's how she woulda wanted to go."

@Chrishallbeck They have taken the bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out.

@Chrishallbeck “this gas station sushi cant be that bad right?”

@Chrishallbeck hey! Haven’t seen you around since I deleted my Instagram years ago. 👋🏻

@Chrishallbeck

"Astronaut Michael Collins said "if you had any balls, you'd say 'oh my God what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic" when Neil Armstrong pondered what to say on the surface of the moon."

.

.

.

(It's not true. But we *wish* it were!!! 🤣 )

@Chrishallbeck I just made this my FB cover photo, people love it.

@Chrishallbeck 😂 that’s a good one

@Chrishallbeck "You were eaten by a grue"

@Chrishallbeck god, I truly wish I had this idea the day I quit bird site

@Chrishallbeck
"I think it's the blue wire."
"It's been in the fridge for a month but it still looks okay."
"I'm gonna use my Sodastream to carbonate coffee."

@Chrishallbeck
See, I shoulda quit when I took my holiday with spouse.

My last post was something something parasailing something something something shark.

@Chrishallbeck I wonder what this button does ?

@Chrishallbeck A cocaine bear 😂

@Chrishallbeck Are these mushrooms edible?

@Chrishallbeck @Gargron well the problem is there are people who are interesting and funny on here, then there are those who announce social media sabbaticals

@Chrishallbeck made me laugh. Thanks for that!

@Chrishallbeck "TIL exposing myself to gamma radiation will make me stronger"

@Chrishallbeck I wonder if I'll be eaten by a grue.
?

@Chrishallbeck

I wonder if I have enough line to rapell to the ground?

@Chrishallbeck Flying over the Bermuda triangle nooooooow...

@Chrishallbeck Ha ha. Very good!

@Chrishallbeck

"BRB testing out my new homemade rocket."

"Shit! Earthquake!"

"Can anyone tell me what a gas leak smells like?"

*very close up photo of a rattlesnake* "Is this a gopher snake?"

"Quick, can someone tell me how to use this Epi pen?"

🤷‍♂️

"Installing updates, be right back."
#FiveWordTechHorror

@Chrishallbeck 😅

@Chrishallbeck that actually reminds me, I have this button here tha

@Chrishallbeck
Did something like that.
No reaction.
@qbi

@Chrishallbeck

Seacrest- out!

@Chrishallbeck or
"There was a strange noise in the attic, maybe I should check"

@Chrishallbeck i once saw someone exit with "yee haw partner! Im goin to cowboy jail!" Before their server went offline.

That one will stick with me.

@Chrishallbeck "Hey, guys, I think I found a place of honour! I bet all kinds of highly esteemed deeds are commemorated here!"

@Chrishallbeck I've never understood when people apologise for taking a social media break. Mostly no-one cares.

@Chrishallbeck life hack

@xs4me2 Goed, dan weten we dat. Als iemand ineens vraagt of er een beer in deze grot zit, dan is dat een teken dat je die persoon op dat sociale medium (een tijdje) niet terugziet.

@Chrishallbeck And he never came back..

@Chrishallbeck Your my new favourite person :D

@Chrishallbeck If I'm less present on social networks right now, it's because "I wonder if there's a bubbul frog in that cave".

#zelda #TearsoftheKingdom
(yes, yes, I know there's a bubbul frog in every cave)

@Chrishallbeck There is no bear in this cave.

@Chrishallbeck or as Billy Connolly used to say, when leaving a group of friends perhaps to go to the bathroom, just announce ‘ you may not see me for some time’

@Chrishallbeck @ebel shrimp in the cereal box guy

@Chrishallbeck @charles_ex

@Chrishallbeck In Germany (or Italy) you could post: "Today I should take the bicycle instead of car."

@Chrishallbeck there was!

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social okay

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social for Putin is it "Интересно, что делает эта красная кнопка?"

@Chrishallbeck 😅👍

@Chrishallbeck Then come back a month later and update it, "Nope!"

(Or "Yep!" optionally.)

@Chrishallbeck

Any post that ends in "Wish me luck!", really. 😜

@Chrishallbeck I wonder what'll happen if I go to the past and change the future.

@Chrishallbeck how bout, "I think I'll try mushroom foraging...WISH ME LUCK!"

@Chrishallbeck

@Chrishallbeck
What does this button do?

@Chrishallbeck I wonder if this album cover is a reliable guide to wiring a plug? https://www.cherryred.co.uk/product/pxr-5/#&gid=1&pid=1