@Chrishallbeck too real

@Chrishallbeck

That itch exists, and it is constantly in me.

@Chrishallbeck Hoodie kid has no chill.

@Chrishallbeck Okay that's just evil. Billy must have said something VERY insulting.

@Chrishallbeck This. This is the kind of curse I wish upon my enemies.

@Chrishallbeck Many ancient cruel and evil beings could learn much from those of us forced to live in modern capitalism. Death, for some, could be a sweet release.

@Chrishallbeck I want him to step on a Lego every morning as he goes to the bathroom so he pees himself, whether or not there's any Lego in the house

@Chrishallbeck
Every time they try to pour something into a glass, it does that thing where it just runs down the front of the pitcher or whatever and makes a huge goddamn mess.

@Chrishallbeck We had a neighbor, a character in so many ways, who told us an old Italian curse: “may you break both legs, the second one the day the first one heals.”

@Chrishallbeck "Wow... That was brutal even by MY standards!"

@Chrishallbeck Adding these to the list if I ever discover I have god-like powers.

@Chrishallbeck I've been cursed to bite my tongue. Crunchy bites, that bleed. And sneezing. I'm constantly sneezing. It's always two quick sneezes, then a third. I don't know what I did or who I did it to, but I'm sorry. Unless it was something totally worth it.

@Chrishallbeck "every time you come within 100ft of a doorbell, it rings"