Gregory's ServerAre you guys ready for the buck-wildest agriculture story I've ever heard
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90 comments
Let me set the stage: Umnak, the biggest island in the Aleutian chain. Some guys thought it would be a good idea to ranch cattle there. At first that sounds like a nuts thing to do. And then you look at the map and you think, Oh! That's on the same latitude as Ireland. That's not so bad. Nice long days in the summer, cool rainy maritime climate, lots of green grass. Cows love that! And you'd be right! A cool thing about ranching on islands in Alaska is in the winter, when there's less grass, is kelp season. Kelp loves the cold & kelp forests really get going in winter. Then winter storms pull lots of it off its stalks and pile it onto the beach, where the cows can graze it. Another cool thing about ranching on islands in Alaska is this quote is technically true! So, here's the thing. They're way out in the North Pacific. That "cradle of storms" thing is real. Those big waves that surfers love on the North Shore of Hawai'i? This is where they come from! Storms in the North Pacific! They're still huge after they make it to HAWAI'I That's how all that kelp gets onto shore. Big storms, big waves, tearin' up the kelp forests & dropping them on the beach. So you'll still get occasional 20, 30' waves even after a local storm is over. When it's otherwise calm & the cows are out grazing on the beach. So the thing about cows is they're kinda just a fermentation tank on legs. Their body is a big hollow barrel with a lot of gas in it (mostly lungs, some CO2 & methane in the gut). They float GREAT. So yes, sometimes they get whacked by big waves when they're grazing on the beach. But don't worry, they don't drown! They float! They can swim!* *Well enough to cross a river. Not well enough to get back to land in the North Pacific. Cows are not a maritime creature. So.... someone has figured out that there's a magic island that occasionally drops cows into the ocean. Turns out orcas love steak. And this quote is technically true! There are no natural predators ON Umnak Island. The article doesn't mention the orcas. I got that info from a colleague involved in attempts to acquire the ranch. Turns out running a ranch in the Aleutian Islands is, like, logistically not recommended- as I understand it's no longer in operation. This ranch is a great case study in "Just because you can ranch cattle here, doesn't mean you should." There's also a caribou herd there that AFAIK doesn't wander down into the wave zone to graze, because they eat lichen in the winter. It helps to be adapted to the local area!  @sarahtaber oh my godddddd also my discord thanks you for your story. ps. I'm running for Commissioner of Agriculture in North Carolina. Whale tales aside- I'm here for solving rural areas' economic challenges. And I can't do it alone, so if you can, help me win this thing! Website: taberfornc.com @sarahtaber I don't think I can do much from Scotland other than boosting your post, but my best wishes. Good luck!  @sarahtaber And refused to ask the Inuit how theyβd been surviving all this time? Shakes head at arrogant Norwegian ancestors  @sarahtaber Thanks for sharing that story! In the alt text for one of the images it says, "Screenshot from the article linked above." But I didn't see a link in any of the posts. I think this story is the source of the quotes, just for anyone else who is curious: https://www.cowboysindians.com/2018/03/the-ranch-at-the-edge-of-the-west/  @sarahtaber I wish my local candidates had campaign ads as good as this!  @sarahtaber I just donated! If you happen to be doing any text banks or postcarding please toot that too. PS Thanks for being active here in the #Fediverse. I was a longtime follower back on Xitter.   @alienghic @sarahtaber I have perished from laughter induced asphyxia. @alienghic @sarahtaber I must say... the kelp-making machine that brought cow-me to this story-beach was a big set up by the Diane-orcas for the precise goal of making this joke. @sarahtaber Let's file that one in the "didn't think it through" folder.  @GPJohnston @sarahtaber Wait you are saying that you are thinking of establishing a cattle ranch and that "what if predation by ORCAS is a problem?" is the obvious thing to check? @soaproot @sarahtaber@mastodon.hell yes, in the North Pacific, you ALWAYS factor in killer whales. You must be from Iowa. π "I'm going down to Cow Town    @sarahtaber They really are just ... amazingly adaptable death machines. @sarahtaber "Cows are not a maritime creature" -- this is the moment where my abs started vibrating @sarahtaber a couple of years ago when we had bad flooding in Cumbria, a herd of cows were washed away and found, fit and healthy, on a golf course 25 miles away!  @sarahtaber whales (including orcas) are, though, descended from the ancestor of modern cattle, so at some time in the past, (proto-)cattle not only did swim, but kept on swimming, and thus became pelagic. Cannibalism, anyone?  @sarahtaber At first I thought this was just going to be about Yet Another Dumbass Species Introduction. But then... The slowly dawning realization that "natural" is not the word that's doing too much here...  @sarahtaber  @Nazani @mloxton @sarahtaber Don't know about zombies, but undoubtedly the ghosts of thousands of native Aleutians wiped out by Russians & the ranchers.   after figuring out the cows were , you know, falling into the sea, didn't they just start collecting the kelp and keeping the cows penned in?  @sarahtaber my naem is orka   @sarahtaber I am bookmarking this for a rainy day. No other button that Mastodon offers is good enough. @sarahtaber Oh, crikey, Sarah, thatβs a classic. We have something similar in tropical Australiaβthe βTop Endβ and Far North Queensland. Not orcas, but estuarine crocodiles: ambush predation of feral pigs and smaller cattle when they are drinking fresh water. Biggish crocs and cows or steers are similar weights, so itβs βadvantage crocβ.  |
@sarahtaber I think I'm ready but something tells me I'm not ready