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Top-level
 Sometimes people really are intimidated by me. I'm a big dude! Trust me when I tell you that those folk act *very* differently. This woman was not intimidated. She wanted to use situational power to tell me to shut up, and the threat of force to get me kicked out of the hotel or subjected to physical violence. She was genuinely surprised that most of the white folk that saw this interaction were appaled and disgusted by her actions. She was confused that she couldn't weaponize hotel security. 48 comments
@mekkaokereke Grateful that things turned out the way they did. Saddened but not surprised that it happened in the first place.  @mekkaokereke I guess a good thing about the Karen meme is it helps us recognize what’s happening when it happens.  It's almost analogous to the fediverse situation that Mekka described where a large fraction of oblivious white people stay oblivious until the gross racism is finally documented so well it cannot be denied. Once their mind accepts the reality, they all-of-a-sudden can see subtle examples that their minds used to filter out. They become woke.  @mekkaokereke The woke mind virus has taken away her freedom 🇺🇸 🎆 to weaponize racism! Help help, she's being repressed! Won't somebody think of the privilege?? (etc.) This performance clearly qualifies for the Facepalme d'Or. 🏆  @adrienne @mekkaokereke Honestly, I'm surprised it isn't already in wide usage. I hereby release it under @mekkaokereke Of course she wasn't intimidated. Does anyone really believe there's a "fight, flight, or narrate" response? "The last thing I saw on the video call was Bill saying, "Oh look, there's a large bear charging at me intending to eat me" and then the image spun and all I could hear was crunching and gurgling. Damn that fight, flight or narrate response." Dear @mekkaokereke My perspective: People see stuff, like bigness or Blackness, (or even a cloud) and think they understand what it signifies. That is usually not the case. I hope you're well! Clearly a stressful situation that does take some time to recover from. Your friend, @mekkaokereke I'm so sorry that happened to you, and that this kind of shit continues to happen. I promise if I'm observing/witnessing a situation like that I will act like those other guests did too. It may not stop the systemic nature of the problem but one less Karen perpetuating it is one less on the ledger and that's something. @mekkaokereke man oh man what goes through these bigots’ minds?!? I’m glad it turned out ok. I hope and pray this is a symptom of a changing culture. I remember when I started to notice that a homophobe was likely to be the odd one out instead of getting implicit or explicit support from the crowd. It made a big difference. Though clearly those gains aren’t guaranteed. @mekkaokereke For cryin' out loud, what does being big (or black or male/female or anything else) have to do with it? You were politely standing in line, doing your best to mind your own business, and that entitled white creep blithely assumed that everyone else would cheer her on. I'm very pleased to hear that she was dead wrong and the hotel staff and security stepped up to the plate! @isotope239 @mekkaokereke Far too many people see Blackness as inherently threatening, and when it comes in the form of a large male body, that feeling of being threatened compounds. It has absolutely nothing to do with what the person in that body has done. @shawrd773 @mekkaokereke As a smallish female, I definitely understand that but how genuinely threatened are you going to be standing in line at a hotel with plenty of witnesses? IMHO, she just didn't want him staying at the same hotel as she was staying in and figured she'd create a false narrative that would get him kicked out. Heaven forbid she might have to <gasp> share an elevator with a black guy! I say firetruck her and the horse she rode in on. @isotope239 @mekkaokereke I don’t think *she* was threatened. I think she was hoping to leverage that threat narrative. So his appearance absolutely matters; if he’d been a small white woman *doing the exact same thing*, none of this would have happened. @shawrd773 @mekkaokereke Exactly! All I'm saying is that it burns my wick when someone instantly judges based on appearance. @mekkaokereke Wow. Just wow. The stars aligned with other humans being good people with high character and strong moral conviction. Giant Black man in the US decision tree 1) OK, this white man just accidentally cut in front of me. Should I even say anything? Or let it slide? 2) OK, I said something. Now he seems very angry! He thinks I am cutting him in line! Should I say anything? Or let it slide? 3) OK, Karen just yelled at both of us to "Shut up" Should I just shut up? 4) OK, she called security on me. Should I stick around? Or is the smart move to leave now? Answers to questions are governed by my situational power @mekkaokereke Stick around. Security guards aren't police in most areas. The most they can do is be a pain in the ass. As easier said than done as this is, just don't lose your cool. Don't give the guard or the other two people one bit of power over you. Just to maintain sanity, the answer is almost always "let it slide." 🤷🏿♂️ Has to be.  @mekkaokereke Thanks for talking through this. I have a really hard time finding the right balance of risk in engaging vs risk of losing myself in advocating for myself too rarely. @mekkaokereke I'm Canadian. I hear about racism and other safety issues in the US all the time, and yet my father, who worked in the USA in the '90s, still has the belief that it's a promised land that's absolutely perfect with no problems, just because of money. Canada may be having its troubles right now, but I feel much, much more safer and welcomed here than I would in the US, especially the US of today. Seriously, I have no idea how you all manage to deal with this on a daily basis.  @mekkaokereke I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s fucked up. And even more so, I’m sorry it probably isn’t even that unusual of a situation.  @mekkaokereke Always great when a racist piece of shit discovers not every white person is on board with their injustice. Crashing into cold hard reality. @mekkaokereke While I wouldn't compare out struggles, as a butch trans woman I feel this. A trans woman I know was hate-crimed by hotel security in full view of everyone, and nobody did anything. She ended up in the hospital. I know a butch woman who's been assaulted by straight women for wanting to use the women's bathroom, and security did absolutely nothing about it. In a gay bar. The moment security gets involved, I'm going into "let it slide" mode. The stakes are too high.  @mekkaokereke so glad you’re safe. It’s nice when you get a glimmer of hope in humanity :) @mekkaokereke Very sorry to read this story, but I am glad it had a better ending. Much love to you and your family. @mekkaokereke oof, that situation sucks green fuzzy rocks and I’m glad that you weren’t harmed further and folks had your back. @mekkaokereke My protective attitude toward my new Mastodon acquaintances indicates that you may wish to disappear for now ... and maybe exact revenge later, both on the white dude and spiteful Karen. @mekkaokereke My temper, AKA less self control, is part of my white privilege. I am SO GLAD there were white witness allies that stuck around. The hotel security with their video evidence probably still would have ended up at the same conclusion, but more public allies in the mix always helps. White allies, you have way more power in regular situations like this than you think. (And yes, it's rather regular, sadly.) @mekkaokereke No comfort, but I hate that you have to weigh up your actions in this way. I know this is your reality. I also know I'll never fully understand because no matter how appalled I am, I'm not the one 'feeling' it, experiencing it. I'm sorry I have nothing but my solidarity to offer. Go well. @mekkaokereke I'm glad the other guests told security what really happened and that it deescalated. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a character. @22 @mekkaokereke  Yes, my first thought in answer to his question was the Siek man who was killed following 9/11. @mekkaokereke what a garbage woman, I’m so sorry that happened to you and glad security called her on her bs.  @mekkaokereke I've seen a woman try to use this kind of "I felt intimidated" tactics against my father, who's a tall skinny white dude. She was a roommate of my brother and his girlfriend, things got weird, they tried to ask her to move out and things got weirder, and so they asked my father over to see if he could help. She decided to file for a restraining order against my father, got a temporary one and a court date, but got laughed out of court as nothing he'd done had ever been intimidating @mekkaokereke The affidavit was a work of art. She described a tall man with a gold tooth and a large Stetson cowboy hat lunging out of the bushes at her. He has a gold tooth, and a Stetson fedora. He was just walking around the bush to go into the yard, and she was leaving. They actually had a pleasant conversation about her cats on that particular occasion. But because he'd gotten involved in the dispute between my brother and her, she tried to weaponize the legal system against him @mekkaokereke so she saw all the Karen memes, and all the white woman tears videos and took them as rules to live by?  @mekkaokereke It is sadly entirely unsurprising that she felt justified in her attitude. I am so sorry that you were subjected to this rubbish, but also glad that white observers were disgusted at her behaviour toward you. A glimmer of hope in a bleak world.  |
Gregory's Server
@mekkaokereke
This is sickening. Grateful it went the way it did.