@sc_griffith https://youtube.com/shorts/Pbw5SjxFS8s?feature=share3 😁😁😁

@sc_griffith I resemble this toot

@sc_griffith i dunno it doesn’t sound like GUMBIES has their upgrade procedure worked out.

@sc_griffith no one uses gumbies any more since the licensing debacle of Ought-Twenty-Three
we use the fork now, it's called makes a noise like 4 seconds of loud hissing static

@sc_griffith I'm currently at a stage in the development of my game where I have to program the UI and I desparately want to return to working for 12 hours to write 10 lines of code that require 100 lines of comments

@sc_griffith WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE 😭😭🙌🏼🙌🏼 this was 100% me when I was trying to learn about kubernetes

@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz

PRICING

Personal Use: Free

10 GUMBIES per Day per User Account: $25.99/mo or $300.00/yr. Thats nearly $12.00 in savings!

GUMBIES ENTERPRISE: Please call.

@sc_griffith Way too funny 🤣

@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz I'm a programmer, and I feel like this ALL THE TIME. There is so much technology out there now that feels like it serves no purpose other than to promote some other technology whose only purpose is to put money in some huge corporation's coffers.

@sc_griffith then you learn that actually, GUMBIES are not even required on this site or needed for any of it's functionality.

@sc_griffith @lisamelton This is so perfect.

@sc_griffith

This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a bit, and I follow a few humor accounts😂

@sc_griffith Gumbies 3.0 is out?!?!

@sc_griffith @funnelfiasco what do you call this act? Enterprise software!

@sc_griffith

@sc_griffith I. Am. DYIIIIIIING.

Stahp!

@sc_griffith Every. Damn. Day.

@sc_griffith embarrassingly, I'm pretty sure I've written a docs page just like that.

@sc_griffith I don’t know exactly what Gumbies is, but I’m sure it’s written in Javascript

@sc_griffith
I need to know, what are GUMBIES and at whom should I throw my money? 💵💵💵

@sc_griffith 😂

@sc_griffith cripes I didn't realize Gumbies 3.x is stable already, I'm gonna have to refactor everything

@sc_griffith me reading about goblins or whatever it was called for the first time

@sc_griffith as long as they have cool stickers I'm in.

@sc_griffith It’s worse than that. It turns out you can install more than one version of Gumbies on your system. Now I have 2.7 •and• 3.0 installed with no way to control which version gets called on any given session.

Their Github says its on the roadmap to fix but that’s been open for 4 years.

In the meantime you can use the unmaintained Gumbo tool to manage multiple Gumbies environments.

@sc_griffith

That used to be about 80% of my Mastodon feed in November, it's now down to 10% or less (measurement by vibes).

I like to try and follow along and throw my little likes at the mega threads that happen. I don't need to fully understand to be supportive. 😀

@sc_griffith

@sc_griffith It's ridiculous 3rd party libraries all the way down (me, I do my best to avoid them all: I have a tiny set of 3rd party libs I've used for years. I'm too old to believe that new frameworks are the solution. Knowing how to use the basics [and writing code generators to simplify repetitive tasks] is the solution.)

@sc_griffith

Now I just want to know what a sandcube is and how it relates to the Sandbenders in @GreatDismal . .

@sc_griffith I’m not so sure this is really a Gumbie issue. I was a contributor to that project for most of 1.x. We were having issues with picking up the right Gleeok version. So there was a config script that scans your environment and adds the env variable GUMGLEE.

Once Gleeok solved their multiple versioning issues, I think they deleted the config script, but make sure you delete GUMGLEE if it’s still there.

@sc_griffith wish I could boost this 100x.

I tried to read a description of anytype because it open sourced and had no fucking clue what it even was.

trans rights btw

@sc_griffith sounds more like your talking about application packagers not programmers. Programmers have no idea about software deployment.

@sc_griffith I opened Mastodon just now to post that it's always Wordpress plugins that brag in their description that they're "beautiful, solid, awesome" that crash my site when I update them, and then this came across my feed and it feels almost parallel to that thought

@sc_griffith Isn't it clear? You have to go to the github and find the readme.txt file, which will direct you to a Stack Overflow account filled with Ayn Rand quotes and 4 chan memes. Hidden within those hieroglyphics is the true meaning of GUMBIES. C'mon man, streamline your waterslide already - there's woodchipping to do.

@sc_griffith i’m very :blobcatgooglyholdingitsheadinitshands: rn so can you explain what this means?

@sc_griffith accurate

@sc_griffith
😂

@sc_griffith

this post inspired me to find once again the splunk/cribl thread on twitter, and I was not disappointed.

@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz @hummingbird

@sc_griffith Hahahaha! That even out-technobabble's "The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processing cores, cross-linked with a redundant melacortz ramistat. Fourteen kiloquad interface modules. The core element is based on an FTL nanoprocessor with twenty five bilateral kelilactirals, with twenty of those being slaved into the primary heisenfram terminal. Now you do know what a bilateral kelilactiral is? " 🤣

@sc_griffith
Programmers and marketing people... IME coders don't like (doing) documentation, marketing people are scared of it.
But the person who commissioned the webpage, and signed it off, is where the real problem lies.

@sc_griffith This is exactly what my job has turned into.

@sc_griffith Ah, sure Gumbies is kinda good, but you should really check Klarm-ng. It's like Gumbies but way easier to configure and it comes containerized by default for easy deployment over Octogolips (which you should already use since you're using Flurble I guess).

@sc_griffith me when my friend speaks anything Cloud Native

@sc_griffith please, don't inject these plausible tech names into my brain, I have enough trouble keeping track of the real ones with implausible names

@sc_griffith Yes I can confirm client spiders stuck in the crystal maze can be problem with Gumbies.

@sc_griffith @hazelweakly
You need to find the actual docs for GUMBIES, not the Blue Shoes marketing fluff. Also the latest version, not that old zh-marked (but still English) version that always seems to come up at the top of the search

@sc_griffith https://youtu.be/eMJk4y9NGvE

@sc_griffith If the Gumbies official web site isn't three columns of Corporate Memphis I'm not buying.

@sc_griffith You find that they have a video explaining it, so you watch that. The video is of people sitting in coffee shops with ukulele music playing over the top. It promises to make your life easier. You still don't know what it does.

@sc_griffith What they don't tell you is how likely it is GUMBIES and/or the company behind it will cease to exist within the next 5 years. Those poor client spiders don't stand a chance.

@sc_griffith GUMBIES 3.0 was a killer release though, I think we all need to just rally around the new version, or the ecosystem will be held back, you know?

@sc_griffith this and when you finally find out what it does it turns out gumbies is used to divide numbers by 7 because we have developed an habit of using external products for basic tasks and a one-line-of-text website weights 20MB nowadays.

@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz

We can either spew technical jargon at most of you that you won't understand, or you'll think we sit at our desks tapping away accomplishing nothing for 12 hours and you'll think we're not doing anything because it's a fiddly job that most people don't understand very well. haha.

@sc_griffith All we learn is that marketing is an impediment to clear communication. 😩

@sc_griffith
That's not only the software. It's also companies.

@sc_griffith 😃 Now if you write everything from hand-crafted assembly, and write your own browser from scratch, none of this is needed ;-) I wanted to claim AutarkyJs for this reason, but it was already taken by a tool that deletes dependencies.

@sc_griffith

You've all forgotten about Ubik.

"The door refused to open. It said, "Five cents, please."

@sc_griffith webdev in a nutshell

@sc_griffith

Yes! OM'effinG, yes! I feel seen!

This is my life. 14 hours of debugging to finally learn that I need to change the BreakTheWebsite setting from 'true' to 'false' in the Gumbies config file.

@aral

@sc_griffith Okay, we've talked this over and everyone in the field has unanimously agreed that you are now an honorary software developer, just for this post.

@sc_griffith but what if you're only running Gumbies 2.6? Can you even upgrade all the way or do you have to bump up to 2.7 before going to 3.0? You also have to ensure the cross-dependency of Murfle is up to date too. Their releases page only lists the binaries though, and their Changelog file was last updated in 2017, but at least the git history has good commit messages.

@sc_griffith

I’ve found Gumbies Made Simple to be a great introduction:

1.1 What is Gumbies?
Gumbies is a happy sparkly funtime platform for much shiny things.

1.2 Hello World
To dereference null instantiations of bit-shifted Splorkl turds within a Xham or EGGS slop-bucket, it is imperative to first cache-spelunk your Gumbies injection. It is recommended you do this fully recursively, to ensure no hanging chads persist in your document wank frond.

@sc_griffith I am in the first few weeks of learning Javascript as a first language and let me tell you:

This post and its replies are EXTREMELY heartening. Thank you! :clippy:

@sc_griffith the sales cycle team never seems to tell you about the crystal maze, even if you ask pointed questions about client spiders.

@sc_griffith and this is why I refuse to use any technology less than five years old. And preferably ten.

@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz Most of it is just an attempt to create an ecosystem that extracts as much money as possible. At sophisticated stages, it's pure administration. You put out a vague framework, and leave it to highly paid certified (HPC) people to actually implement. Highly paid by companies wanting to implement, of course.

@sc_griffith I think that last sentence there is how the company I work for keeps coming up with these weird programs I've never heard of, and when I go to their website it's exactly as you describe.

@sc_griffith There’s also a self-hosted version of GUMBIES with a fork that fixes the issue because the pull request is pending since 2019.

@sc_griffith
Is there an Open Source version ?

@sc_griffith OOOH. You are *so* on it.

@sc_griffith 😂 This is so me right now, trying to resolve an issue between my ISP and AWS' worldwide speeder-upper, probably caused by a sea-star having pierced the transatlantic data highway, which incidentally is called Havfrue - the mermaid. 🧜‍♀️

@sc_griffith this is so accurate lmao

So many libraries are like "this is the best tool for your company" and I still don't know what it is and how would I use it

@sc_griffith it's a lot easier than trying to understand how things work

@sc_griffith this couldn’t be more spot on. Thanks for the laugh and happy Friday!

@sc_griffith FREE Amazon Gift Card Code [2023] Codes Generator
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@sc_griffith I bet this post lands you your tech writer dream job. It’s so perfect.

@sc_griffith Accurate

@sc_griffith lol but also i probably sound like this to some people xd

@sc_griffith the website is for the marketing and beancounter people, those who actually care will check on Wikipedia and Stack Overflow

@sc_griffith I saw a website like this, "Flurbles and Gumbies and etc. etc.".

Dug outside the website for a second and the company sold oscilloscopes. The word oscilloscope never showed up on the front page. You have to dig 3 pages in to their main site to see what kind of oscilloscopes they sell.

@sc_griffith Yes, but what do you DO?

@sc_griffith I feel seen

@sc_griffith ...but, but it's groundbreaking! And it creates actionable reports at pivot points. It must be good!

@sc_griffith dealt with a techbro who was all excited for some random library "because google uses it" and i'm like "that actively means nothing to me, can you tell me what it does"

@sc_griffith just have moments were I sigh and nod. Also that I've been out of the game for so long I can only do "LEGACY SOFTWARE"

@sc_griffith

Devs? Oh I use ChatGPT. Devs who?

@sc_griffith Those poor spiders in the crystal maze!

@sc_griffith I am a simple person, and refer to this as the Stupidweb.

@sc_griffith
This explains in detail the rabbitholes I fall into every single day while programming 🤣