@sc_griffith sharded shardless microserver architecture

@sc_griffith Your description reminds me of a short piece of speculative fiction I wrote inspired by the installation process for software I was working on at the time.
http://blog.superflippy.net/2015/11/instructions.html

@sc_griffith

@sc_griffith All the *real* documentation is at the opengumbies.gitnexus.io fork.

@sc_griffith You just have to install the compatibility library Bloingo released, then compile Gumbies 3.1 development version.

Perfectly intuitive.

@sc_griffith I feel this right in my core. TELL ME WHAT THE DAMN LIBRARY DOES!

@sc_griffith This. It is so great we don't need to tell you what it is for!

@sc_griffith god I hate those sites. Infinite web space given over to zero information.

WHAT

DO

YOU

DO

@sc_griffith that script of a movie? One that will have 3 people in the audience rolling on the floor laughing...only to be trampled by the rest of audience fleeing the theater.

@sc_griffith
Educational experiences all around- I have certainly read similar things with more lingo words than not- it's like a secret language about computer languages! The deep wikipedia dive sometimes yields informative results
@jenn

@sc_griffith @tforcworc Crying laughing. Oh no wait just crying

@sc_griffith the immense truth of this entire post is both very painful and incredibly hilarious lmao
captures the exact feeling of the last... i think three times i looked up something intending to use it on my website. "that sure was a sleek and flashy website but hell if i know what the software actually -does- or if it's what i'm looking for at all..."

@sc_griffith @oldskirt if i can't figure out what it is (or what it's for) by the bottom of the single-scroll site, i just give up. and that's why i don't have a job in programming lol.

@sc_griffith You are lucky if GUMBIES has any kind of a description. Often just a page of release notes for most recent version explaining the how new planar extrusions module replaces obsolete differential elastic sweeper. Unfortunately, you suspect, but can't confirm, that product you were intending to use it with requires the now obsolete sweeper.

Or GUMBIES just has an empty Readme.MD, last commit was 7 months ago and there were only two releases, most recent 3 years ago and 4 open old PRs.

@sc_griffith uhm excuse you, those people would never call themselves programmers, their title contains at least 7 words that aren't in any dictionary, and ends in an acronym.

@sc_griffith I'd pay good money to see Annald come back in a Gumbie suit to kill us all just after the rise of the machines. 🤣

@sc_griffith I worked at a tech startup during the dot-com implosiom. The company next door cratered. We went over to the auction preview. They had a 24-page company brochure with beautiful photographs and illustrations on very high quality paper, with translucent inserts and all kinds of amazing stuff, and after reading it I still had no f#$&ing clue what they did.
1/

@sc_griffith @fanf I wish I could pinpoint the moment when OSS project websites changed from "hacked together but generally information-dense even if the information is a bit odd sometimes" to "before even writing a single line of code we need a logo, a focus-groupped name and a website with lots of short sentences in large text with big gaps between them".

@sc_griffith divine!

@sc_griffith lol. I love Gumbies! Don’t tell me you’re one of those Bicep CSS proponents?

@sc_griffith this toot should win the pulitzer prize for literature

@sc_griffith This feels like my entire working life…

@sc_griffith This is disturbingly relatable. 😅

@sc_griffith

What an absolute mood.

I love it!

@sc_griffith why is this the funniest thing I've read since that fake Guy Fieri flavortown menu

@sc_griffith Is this a thread, or a post-modern collaborative novel? Exciting!

@sc_griffith @paco Why do people do this?
Every project should start with a quick, jargon free, description of the user problem you are trying to solve.
If you can't do that, maybe think about whether your fancy new framework or whatever is actually needed.

@sc_griffith I can't wait to start getting job offers that require 5 years of experience in Gumbies and Flurble, so I can add 10 mb of npm packages to the project and be forced to write YAML files to make anything work, while running a huge memory hungry development server.

Why all that, you ask? Well, to launch YiNYAF (YiNYAF Is Not Yet Another Framework)!

@sc_griffith
This is extremely accurate

@sc_griffith

Sounds like an actual playground with a big sand box and long twisty slide that makes you always land on your behind

@sc_griffith > the client spiders get stuck in the crystal maze

You know I think I've played that video game

@sc_griffith

The main solution to these programming problems is to ask anyone that adds external code to the project to be shot in a body part of their choice by the naval artillery of their choice

Naval artillery can solve most problems a jetpack can't solve

@sc_griffith Accurate.

@sc_griffith https://mastodon.social/@jplebreton/106846155991985038