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Angus McIntyre

@cstross Oooh, oooh, and I totally forgot the auto-erotic asphyxiation angle as well.

"We found him alone in his hotel room, detective. Wearing a full spacesuit. Now, do you think he was planning to colonize Mars, or was he just having such a good time that he didn't notice when his oxygen ran out?"

29 comments
Charlie Stross

@angusm I'm seeing the movie poster now: "in space, no-one can hear you cum".

From the novelization: "distracted by the docking maneuver in progress, Major Tom wriggled his hips in frustration within the chaste steel embrace of his suit. He'd been in it for a week now and—yes, his rectal plug was vibrating again as it started another six-hourly enema cycle. He watched, gasping, as the two capsules' docking adapters kissed …"

(Typo alert: I initially wrote "dicking" instead of "docking".)

Angus McIntyre

@cstross I'm trying to UNSEE the movie poster right now.

I fear you may have unleashed something you cannot control, and I want you to go to your room and think about what you've done (*).

(*) No, not like that. Please God, not like that.

Uilebheist 🏳️‍🌈

@angusm @cstross You know how my eyes often see things which aren't there?
I read: "I fear you may have *unfastened* something you cannot control" and it seemed quite appropriate.

Uilebheist 🏳️‍🌈

@angusm @cstross "My spacecraft is full of steels"
I'll get my coat.

Seiðr

@angusm @cstross The fact that the human waste disposal facilities in spacecraft are suction-based is only making this just all the more awkward.

Rama

@cstross @angusm "Oh my God, it's full of porn stars"

Uilebheist 🏳️‍🌈

@cstross @angusm That. Is. Just.
I don't know.
Something.
Somebody should draw that poster.

Angus McIntyre

@Uilebheist @cstross I was about to ask Midjourney to draw the poster for us but then I realized that half the words I'd have to use in the prompt would get me banned from Midjourney for life.

So I decided not to.

Also, there's the issue of the mental scarring that would probably result from creating and publishing such a thing. All in all, it's something I'd rather not have on my conscience.

Uilebheist 🏳️‍🌈

@angusm @cstross Quite understandable. Note how I said "somebody should" and somehow failed to offer any help...

Rachel Greenham

@angusm @Uilebheist @cstross if you want it you’re just going to have to pay a real artist. For this? So much, *so* much money…

Angus McIntyre

@StrangeNoises @Uilebheist @cstross I'd pay them even more if they promise not to make it.

You know, we could probably start a GoFundMe to raise money to pay artists NOT to create erotic spacesuit fetish art. People will give to that (*).

(*) If they know what's good for them, they will.

Skiriki Fyxe

@angusm @StrangeNoises @Uilebheist @cstross

Well look at that, I happen to have a fully articulated spacesuit or seventy in my render library, along with tentacles and genitalia of interesting types plus a load of morphs and skins...

...Or, y'know, I'm handing out a begging bowl for my kitty's upcoming round of dentistry on Monday. 😂

Angus McIntyre

@Skiriki @StrangeNoises @Uilebheist @cstross So do I. And I have a day off, and a PC with a 3060 sitting next to my desk.

Don't start a war you can't win.

Skiriki Fyxe

@angusm @StrangeNoises @Uilebheist @cstross Yes, but I do have an adorable kitty (and three more on top of that). @cstross has seen them!

Nebulous Menace (Sandy B.)

@angusm @Uilebheist @cstross I think the moral here is "support human artists" but I may be just retreating from the images you present.

Eric A. Meyer

@cstross @angusm Suggested tagline edit: “In space, no-one can hear you cream.”

Rachel Greenham

@cstross @angusm you should never ask an actual astronaut about this. I’m sure they’ll be full of stories about how utterly unarousing the whole thing is…

Or they might tell you the other thing. And that would be worse! Oh so much worse.

Pouringlizards

@cstross @angusm the greatest sci-fi novel JG Ballard never wrote.

Charlie Stross

@pouringlizards @angusm I think Barry Malzberg went there? "The Falling Astronauts" maybe?

Steve Bellovin

@angusm @cstross To quote Tom Lehrer, “When correctly viewed, everything is lewd”.

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