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Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

olaf

God | fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, | hate him. | hate him so much. So FUCKING much Every time | see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and 'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, | like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. | hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and Your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*imart checkout line.
It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. | find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and | alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himseif fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must | have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? | must Unmake this fictional snowman l 

childoftheunwalkedway:

I'd feel better about this whole rant if Olaf weren't queer-coded. It might be largely the voice acting - the lisp, the inflection especially - but he's got massive "harmless gay sidekick” vibes. And if you're actively critiquing that? Sure, great, go all out. Hate whom you will. Say whatever you want about how "gay” is equated with "harmless silly sidekick used for comic relief, with no serious bearing on the plot, literally inhuman and treated by Serious Human Characters as... well,a sidekick, peripheral to your life and safe to ignore.

But if you're not engaging critically with that aspect of his character and are just overwhelmed with hatred whenever you see or hear or think about the queer-coded character and his mannerisms make you feel violent, that is a little bit. Uncomfortable. At best.
Girl shouting knives meme format, with two girls shouting knives. The first is shouting "god I fucking hate olaf the snow man" and the beginning of the first post, trailing off. The second is shouting "I'd feel better about this whole rant if olaf weren't queer coded". Both knives are stabbing a guy
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

imitation seawater (too long to fully alt-text, screenreader users can enjoy the whole thing here: elodieunderglass.tumblr.com/po )

cerinthescarietpescatarian: “X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy | hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood). . derinthescarletpescatarian: “Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It's very simple. ‘ badwificonnection: Blood is what now? derinthescarletpescatarian: It's imitation seawater what part is confusing
badwificonnection [math lady meme]
derinthescarletpescatarian:

#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums?

Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.

Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.

badwificonnection:

#the inside of your intestine is outside of you

#just like the inside of your lungs and stomach

#although the mucuses and stomach

acids are partly made of filtered blood | auess

Thank you that’s...very disturbing

derinthescarletpescatarian:

It’s not my fault you’re human.

apatheticshipwreck:

Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever. derinthescarletpescatarian:

You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
' derinthescarletpescatarian:

#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part that’s confusing

Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow;” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs | can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that's the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so | don't explode or shrivel up) so | can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”

“Wait a minute;” you say a couple of generations later, because you're not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about | put it in tubes? | can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything | want to keep goes in my water! Anything | don’t, | dump back into the outside water! I'm a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that's a GENIUS!”

“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is S0 great.
Ea elodieunderglass Follow

Well, there’s another few steps, of course.

Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.

Amammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is atremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyone’s a bag of chemicals; but mammals sfosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,

and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: “my internal ocean is so good-

*“Bullshit,” said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)

“My internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS;” you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, “that for my next trick, | shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. | shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-”

“Oh, ANYONE can lay an egg,” yodel the fish, and the ray adds: “ontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!”

And you're like, “yeah no, it’s an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically P'm going to take some cells and brew them up-"

“Like an egg.”
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

when peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them

sytherenne:
[screnshot]
While this show has some SERIOUS '90s vibes, it's not bad! | absolutely see the appeal. | love that it's about girls finding their inner strength, kicking ass, and defeating evil. Out of all the reboots that have happened, I'm surprised that this hasn't been touched yet. | still don't know why Spike and Angel seem like older men compared to Buffy, but | guess people were into it? But also — was there ever a Team Spike or Team Angel like Team Edward/Jacob LET ME KNOW.

I can't believe | had to read this sentence in a buzzfeed thing about BtVS with ‘my own goddamn eyes how is it possible this has slipped from the mind of the collective conscious, people died in this conflict, know your fandom history jeeze

etraytin:
It's the way of all wars. When peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them.
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

can't believe i didn't realise i was gay right then

 vampireapologist
actually when | was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as. a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn't stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk | was 13, | was going to show up. | was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can't believe i didn't realize i was gay right then but that's another story, also involving vampires,

wuackamole

hate to burst your fantasy, but

1) vampires don't show up in film

2) vampires can't cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean ; 

vampireapologist

You've got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you're wrong, but on the other hand, saying *you clearly didn't read twiight" doesn't exactly make you look like the bad guy here
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