minions | Another Angry Woman

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Another Angry Woman

minions

what-even-is-thiss:

You ever think about how they made the minions immortal so that they wouldn't have to explain how they reproduce

forever-lynx:

they made the minions immortal???

what-even-is-thiss:

Yeah it's like the same 200 minions forever

what-even-is-thiss:

They also trapped them in the Arctic for a long time so they wouldn’t have to show them working for hitler because canonically they're evil and serve the most evil master around and they're clearly ok with serving dictators because they were depicted helping Napoleon so the solution to keep hitler out of the story was just to trap the yellow blobs on an iceberg.

what-even-is-thiss:

So these things have been alive since the dinosaurs and are basically minor spirits or gods that exist to serve the side of evil and during that whole time they remained grossly incompetent.

Does the universe in despicable me want evil to fail or win? Or are these stupid yellow sexless idiots meant to keep a balance of some kind? Because they do not seem to have a niche in any ecosystem that | know of so their origin must be divine somehow.

since the minions are technically the last of their kind (since they seem to not be able to reproduce) does this mean that they are a protected species?

what-even-is-thiss:

See, | don't think that they're a species. | think that they’re something else. Because everything else in that universe seems to follow ordinary rules of evolution but the same however many hundred minions keep changing their appearance and not dying. | think that the minions were intelligently designed.
sammy-genderspikeidiot:

Roman, my guy, are you really saying that minions are evidence of a god in despicable me lore?

what-even-is-thiss:

Not god per se but... something.

calefactionconvocation:

Evil vs good. Evil made minions, good made them stupid yellow blobs ‘
what-even-is-thiss

So are you positing that maybe they came to be because of some primordial yin/yang type battle between energies in the ocean or something?

acing-dyslexia

But they have to reproduce somehow, there are way more minions in the Despicable Me movies than the Minions movie

infinitelines:

No one wants to talk about the fact that they worked with Napoleon means the minions canonically participated in the trans Atlantic slave trade

what-even-is-thiss:

Finally a new observation that doesn’t have to do with corn

Like 8 Dec 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai

736 comments

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

what is left

theveautysupplystore

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

sexybinch

Im confused, whatis left

sexybinch

Oh nvm Imao my brain. You right sis ol you is right !

thebeautysupplystore

You really forgot your whole brain

pussylipgloss

she read this post with her pussy

8 Dec 2022 at 11:37 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

can't believe i didn't realise i was gay right then

vampireapologist
actually when | was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as. a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn't stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk | was 13, | was going to show up. | was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can't believe i didn't realize i was gay right then but that's another story, also involving vampires,

wuackamole

hate to burst your fantasy, but

1) vampires don't show up in film

2) vampires can't cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean ;

vampireapologist

You've got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you're wrong, but on the other hand, saying *you clearly didn't read twiight" doesn't exactly make you look like the bad guy here

8 Dec 2022 at 11:51 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

Moderately lewd

arise,

Painting of a kneeling Knight being knighted with a sword. The knight's lower body has been replaced by a photo of a juicy ass in a thong

8 Dec 2022 at 18:16 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

bear market

lesbenny: Second order of creamed honey from Ioway Bee Farm finally arrived and while the almond creamed honey was a little underwhelming the blueberry one was almost *too* decadent. Like mortals were not made for something that tastes this good. This honey could corrupt a man from the first spoonful. It helps me to avoid eating half the jar in one go, though.
lesbenny: [screenshotted reply] are you perhaps a bear
I'm trying to be but getting testosterone without a damoly doctor is impossible

lesbenny: [screenshot tags] oh this is a good one, at 47 notes not but I bet it'll go far

[more screenshots] -investing at 46 notes
-to me this has 23k notes
Why are you people talking about my post like stock market speculators.
armchair: it's a bear market
[Clip art cartoon of a woman hitting a baseball with the ball forming the o of the words home run

8 Dec 2022 at 18:26 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

buppy

Simple drawing of a dog, possibly by a child, with dynamic lines to imply motion and presence, captioned by the artist "buppy"

9 Dec 2022 at 10:35 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

navy

cannibalchicken [twitter screenshot] Is maroon just navy red
@lilbrownbby why does this make sense s noitemspeachonlyfinaldestination: it doesnt make sense tho navy blue was literally named for its use in the BRITISH ROYAL NAVY in the mid-1700's maroon is literally an evolution of french marron, meaning chestnut. its a brownish red. like a chestnut. like, the kids making these memes need to take a fucking elective that isnt a sport. do teenage boys still think that “art is for fags” or something? learn colors, you sound stupid!!!!

viotetirjava: This is like hilarious but also stop being pretentious, it's a perfectly fair comparison to make. Navy blue = a darker and more desaturated blue and maroon = a darker and more desaturated red. The modifier “navy” is so disconnected enough from its roots that it makes sense for it to assume a new contextual meaning. Sure, the name comes from the British navy using it, but what we're talking about is how it modifies a color. roitemspeachonlyfinaldestination: i do not care how pretentious i sound, this joke is picking the lowest-hanging fruit ive ever seen. its LAZY. it comes across as *haha look at this funny r/showerthoughts post i saw!!! so relatable, am i right fellow non-artists?" its a low effort joke aimed at people who could not be paid to give a shit about trying any artistic medium, but lose their mind over a notebook sketch 'someone does in 15 minutes and scream “I WISH | COULD DRAW LIKE YOU" as if it doesnt take years of practice: like the artist was born with an “artistic gene” or some bulishit all i ask is that people try just a little bit more to not sound dumb when theyre trying to be funny
space-cops: [cartoon of a knight hammering in a sign saying "no navy red allowed"

wonderweird:

This guy thinks it’s an insult to artists where as 'm pretty sure a sizable amount of the notes on this post are artists saying “YEAH THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!! NAVY RED!"

so-basically-im-jevil:

if you don't know the name origin of every single color ever then you arent an artist

payeehay:

and mustard is navy yellow

bogmummytakethewheel:

the navy trfecta: navy blue, maroon, and mustard. this leads into a gateway to ‘awhole new color spectrum: the navy color wheel

bogmummytakethewheel

[colour wheel in dark desaturated colours]
i did the best i could

proxypunch [colour spectrum in same colours],

nomestuckpolice Thank you, law abiding citizen! We'll apprehend the suspect [spongebob squarepants gif of arrest] actualrealexplode: [screenshot of arm with gun shooting cop] IM NOT GOIN BACK TO JAIL

angelpatton: This post is a fucking trainwreck

9 Dec 2022 at 11:25 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

top advice

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a ltle bit of conversation. ‘you're so smarthe said, ' feel like | couldn't keep up'. And then he did that sad boy face where you're supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So | said probably’ and fucked his mate

Some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you're too ' to keep p with its a ploy to get you to cut bts off Yourself 5o you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

9 Dec 2022 at 11:43 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the ideological opposite of a catgirl

prokopetz:
Prompt: the ideological opposite of a catgirl.

z-nogyrop:
So, a catgirl is a human woman who has taken on certain traits of the cat, which is a housepet known for its temperament - it is affectionate when it chooses to be, but it must choose to be. the appeal of the catgirl is the implication that the woman has decided, much like a cat, that the viewer is worthy of affection. thus the ideological opposite would be a feral creature that is known for being tame except for when it is provoked. countless examples of this exist in nature, so to narrow our options we will select one which is generally considered “scary” as a parallel to the “cute” cat, as is also as far away as viable from a cat. as an extremely social invertebrate, compared to the relatively solitary and spined nature of the housecat, i believe the hornet is the perfect choice; despite popular belief hornets are not aggressive unless and until they are given a reason to be.

then there is the fusion of cat and girl. the catgirl takes the “cutest” and most traditional elements of the cat - ears, tail, and whiskers - and assembles them onto the girl. thus, our inverted catgirl ought to take the most disturbing and detestable elements of the human and assemble them onto the hornet. for this exercise i will propose the. spine (deformed due to our bipedal nature compared to most creatures), the chin (a structure that no other animal possesses), and the penis (for obvious reasons).

thus, we can safely conclude that the ideological opposite of the catgirl is [picture of the bee from bee movie]

prokopetz:

Take your prize and get out of my house.

9 Dec 2022 at 12:19 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

pilot

Me as a pilot
Me: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. I have an announcement to make but first you have to promise not to get mad

9 Dec 2022 at 18:19 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

nothing wrong with me

Clay effect blobby character as number 1. Nothing wrong with me.
Clay effect blobby character as number 2. Nothing wrong with me.
Clay effect blobby character as number 3. Nothing wrong with me.
Clay effect blobby character as number 4. Nothing wrong with me.

10 Dec 2022 at 12:36 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

just like in anime

Ate a burger. While having boobs. This is just like in anime

10 Dec 2022 at 12:38 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

understanding a newspaper political cartoon

Food pyramid with every category set to pussy.

Stick men cartoon "And just let him fucking die?" Pointing at pic of DJ Khaled

Close up photo of Obama's eyes

-this post isn't written in any known human language
-is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?

10 Dec 2022 at 12:42 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

werewolf youtuber

Hey what do you call a werewolf YouTuber?
A lycabsubscribe

10 Dec 2022 at 15:51 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

peaceio

Wario is such as violent name. If they had named him peaceio maybe he wouldn't be prone to so much malicious activity

10 Dec 2022 at 19:29 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

tinder

I just saw my cousin on tinder can I die she's gonna know I'm gay
WAIT THAT MEANS
[Two spider man's pointing at each other react]

11 Dec 2022 at 11:23 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

fingers in his ass sunday

fingers in ass Sunday
you know what day ir is
addicted to fingers in his ass Sunday
[Salute screenshot]
See you on the other side, true heroes

11 Dec 2022 at 21:45 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

promhe/theyus

every day i get top surgery and every night they grow back again

#promhe/theyus [crying emojis]

12 Dec 2022 at 10:35 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

ways to look more angelic

stargogh: ways to look more angelic:
« carry flowers everywhere « pink or gold eye shadow + wearlong ankle dresses + soft humming + have a pink glowy blush:
ishtarelisheba. + wield a flaming sword
we-aim-to-misbehave + Be covered in eyes

garaviel:
three pairs of wings

wellpardonme:

Wheel

princettior:

announce your arrival by screaming “FEAR NOT" everywhere you og

12 Dec 2022 at 10:59 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

breadsts

Anon: brea
thickness-protection-program:
-d [kombucha lady meme, interested react]
-sts [kombucha lady meme, interested react]
vagrantclown: breadsts
thickness-protection-programme: [photo of loaves of bread which look like breasts] [kombucha lady meme, interested react]

12 Dec 2022 at 11:06 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

pedestrian

foreverial: shouting “DERIVATIVE!” at an art school kid just walking down the street from a moving vehicle, they break down and sob
foreverial: [reply screenshot]for lit majors its PEDESTRIAN bruh never have i been so decimated than when a prof said my thesis proposal was pedestrian

okay but if i, a guy driving a car, yell that at somebody walking on the sidewalk, that’s not really an insult, that’s just what they are

12 Dec 2022 at 11:11 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

anti-italian rules

Iwant a story about an Italian vampire

No romance, no action

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, | can' have garlic? Do you know where Im from?”
absinthenoir:

TBH | think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an ltalian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

latessitriceL

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-talian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can't o near crucifixes? IN ITALY?22

12 Dec 2022 at 12:02 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

we come to cum

A "welcome to Cumbria" road sign with some letters strategically removed so it reads "cunt council, we come to cum"

12 Dec 2022 at 15:54 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

scrumptious darling boy

RIP RIP RIP i can never interact with my neighbor again holy fuck
i was outside w/ my cat just now. and he went behind a shrub for a bit, and me not realizing my neighbor was on the other side of that same shrub, poked my head round and said way louder than necessary, “my SCRUMPTIOUS darling boy, what ever are you doing over there??”
and this 40-something man i very rarely speak to handled it w/ remarkable grace and very tentatively responded “…..watering my.. roses? you?”

12 Dec 2022 at 23:23 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

ska punk forever

Son, I found your fedora. At first I thought you were a brony and I was going to be very disappointed. But then I found your giant stash of checkered vans and hawaiian shirts. Ska punk forever, son. Ska punk forever.

13 Dec 2022 at 11:01 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer

-Alex Jones is literally female coded because of his hysteria. But whatever
-OP I know this is a joke nut just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer

13 Dec 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

exceeding all expectations

Text chat screenshots:
-are you ready to see a flier that's everywhere at my school
-if ur prefacing it fuck yeah I am
[Poster advertising the vagina monologues with 90s rad-stylr background and a picture of the bee from bee movie saying "ya like vag"]
I wasn't ready
forbiddenseason: I'm exceeding all expectations

13 Dec 2022 at 11:45 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the emperor's new clothes but in reverse

I own a bad dragon hoodie just so I can wear it in public and nobody can say anything without admitting that they know what it is
The emperor's new clothes but in reverse. Nobody can acknowledge my clothing without embarrassing themselves as well

13 Dec 2022 at 17:17 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

studying for the bechdel test

i'm studying for the bechdel test but my teacher isn't very good and he isn't helping at all

Fuck

13 Dec 2022 at 17:22 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

joan of arc

4 panel comic.
1. Grey figure labelled "catholic church": Joan of arc is a saint because she was martyred
2. Another figure: who killed her
3. Catholic church, blank face
4. Catholic church, scowling face

Screenshot of a modified jaboukie tweet:
Catholic church:
Just because we killed joan of arc doesn't mean we can't miss her

14 Dec 2022 at 10:29 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

avantgaye:

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said *i have 5 kids”

witchraft-with-space-bean:

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. | asked her why, and she shrugged and said I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

anais-ninja-blog:

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

Katjohnadams:

Actual conversation | had at register:

“Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can | get you, today?”

“How much s it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”

“I- Im sorry?”

“A venti cup. How much to fil it with Espresso?”

“Oh. uh. Well, it'd be | suppose... | only have a button for a Quad. | dort have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink>

“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”

*deep breath of fear* *It'd be a quad with;* “clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, | should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-

“Taste means nothing to me=”

At this point | am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.

“Oh. Well, okay.” | put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that | must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be

She begins to pay, | shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, Iam sure of it.

“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”

My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma‘am>

“How many can | add?”

Futile though it s, at least | know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”

“One then.”

14 Dec 2022 at 11:39 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

tumblr learns about the big wide world: a collection

malewifenat: Anonymous asked: What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab? malewifenat answered: x.’m palestinian ‘captainlordauditor: [reply screenshot] hey just a heads up! you probably shouldn't call yourself indian if you aren't indigenous :)[picture of a map of the country India]
same energy
princesskuragina [conversation screenshots] Does Dutch mean like dom butch?

NO. It's my nationality.

[post and reply screenshot]
hoodrichjay: I hate when people say “I'm Spanish" like no that's a language not a nationalty
-boy have i got news for you about a country called spain
definitely-not-lordenglish [conversation screenshots]
Anonymous asked you really thought that putting I/ait/h in your bio and your carrd would be a sneaky way to let people know that you like vo//itro//n Imao. could've just wrote klance and not use some obscure shipping name that people already know about anyways
leorio-moved-deactivated2020022 answered LAITH IS MY NAME IT'S LITERALLY AN ARABIC NAME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
catradoraism [conversation screenshot] Anonymous asked: ° urgh “queensland” just call it england you pretentious bitch logarto answered: ‘ [map of Australia showing Queensland] bigexcluder [screenshot]
lee: HUH . . .
lee: what pride flag is that. .
lee: oh lee guessed the word! The word was 'Germany

Anonymous said Do you have a fetish for men or something
[reply is a picture of Tails wearing a shirt with a rainbow saying "I'm gay" [conversation screenshot] Who's Eid. Your gf?
Who’s Eid.......
there’s more
enby-demon-crespy [conversation screenshot]
Anonymous asked you seriously think it's okay that you have nazis in your family but you raised mexican catholic™™" whatever the fuck mexican catholic means and high ranking nazis at that?

Reply: Look at me. Hey, no, for real, look me in the eyes. Do you think Ashkenazi is a special type of *high ranking” nazi?

Opalite [conversation and reply screenshots]

anonymous asked:

I dont know who the hell the B

stands for but god its disgusting

that you ship anyone with Dib.

Thats a whole ass child, freak.

Wanted to follow for the Pokemon

content but you're out here

shipping whatever the fuck badr

is. Dont fucking ship the kids with

irkens jesus christ
[reply] HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC | DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON

[picture of the Welsh flag]
re-unpoputar-opinions These sexuality/gender type flags are stupid and apart from the gay one, no one knows/cares what they mean.
wrxthiabella: that... that is the Welsh flag...
runofthemillsocialist: Gender of the day: Wales “
Tord-kitschener: LGBTW (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Welsh)

14 Dec 2022 at 11:54 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

you dropped your dick, man

[twitter screencap of a dildo wrapped up in plastic with a postal address sticker on it] "Amazon got me fucked up telling all my business
theblackd4hlia: but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible :anonbuddha: If its any consolation, | get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day | was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. | really had to go so I did t fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me. The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, “Umn, you dropped your dick man.” and nudges it over with his foot.

14 Dec 2022 at 12:01 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

bear 4 bear content

as someone who grew up in an interfaith family it’s time to take a stance on christmas/hannukah cards. the best ones are for sure the ones where santa is gay married to a hasidic man
[three pictures of greetings cards. In the first, Santa has his arm around a hasidic man, and they have switched hats. In the second, Santa and the hasidic man are skating together. In the third, they have their arms around each other]
like. slay.

Quality bear 4 bear content

14 Dec 2022 at 19:52 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

salukis

salukis look like the dog equivalent of those popular white girls in high school who turn out to be actually really nice when you get around to talking to them on their own and end up doing international studies at uni

[photo of a saluki, a white dog with a long face and fluffy, floppy ears]
shes a paid employee of amnesty international now

15 Dec 2022 at 10:49 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

task failed successfully

basic-banshee: I keep using my girifriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out. But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I've been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

basic-banshee: like that people have two reactions to this post. Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

sweet-chesus: Well, which one is it going to be?

basic-banshee: [text screenshots]
-Will you come to my company holiday party and pretend to be my girlfriend
-I will give you a Starbucks gift card
-My boyfriend's dad is a VP at (blurred)-and he and his wife will 100% be there -It's like you don't want our fake dating au to succeed
-You have loads of friends! Can't one . of them do it?
-You're my only straight friend. | need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end
-Just make a Craigslist ad
-Omg wait can I help

And so it begins ‘
bazfloralsuit: having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now
basic-banshee: Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate. basic-banshee: Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig” I now see my mistake

basic-banshee: [more text screenshots] -Would you want to come to my company holiday party with me next weekend and pretend to be my fake girlfriend
-Are you still talking about this
-Collin said you were joking
-I am 93% serious
-Can I wear a suit? How butch do | . need to be?
-Oh my god yes you can wear a suit? You can be as butch as your heart desires, there are no limits
-Are you actually down because I'm p serious. Free dinner!
-Yeah I'm down! Can you feed my cat . that following weekend?
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action. justluckyiguess: My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
basic-banshee: Can confirm | am meeting and mating just fine

basic-banshee: By the way I'm in a relationship with this woman now cooliopumpkin [screenshot of John Mulaney, modified to make him say, "That's what | thought you'd say, you |esbian"]
basic-banshee: This is the feedback I've been looking for
charlesoberonn: [screenshot of the first text conversation, highlighting "I need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end "
basic-banshee: [a windows button, with the text saying "Task failed successfully"]

15 Dec 2022 at 11:21 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

richard dawkins

News headline screenshot: British scientists don't like Richard Dawkins, finds study that didn't even ask questions about Richard Dawkins investigaton into science's public image didn't even ask about atheist professor
And the best headline of the year goes to.
cumaeansibyl: you guys I found the article and it's fantastic they did in-depth interviews with 137 scientists and about 35% of them mentioned Dawkins unprompted, and about 80% of those were apparently just desperate to tell someone how much they hate him

28% of scientists hate Richard Dawkins so much that they just start spouting off about his bullshit unprompted.

15 Dec 2022 at 11:27 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

mad dad hour

trickester: I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
tricktster:

it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction | was looking for.

S0 my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I'had alot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. | had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.

this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you'd expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I'm all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.

And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just did’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason | kept the show going. Per station rules, | had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before | cut to one | was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, | decided to do a goof. | said:

“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.

*I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, | had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.

And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!

they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call

obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by [struck out] Queen David Bowie. the phone immediately began to ring. “ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!" “I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” | replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure. I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start. And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born. .
tricktster
[reply screenshot]
@tricktster you really gotta tell us the

aftermath after that day

I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format | started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.

My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what | was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. | only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while | got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:

me: hi there, you’ve got TST-

him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter

*me: hey, is everything o-

him: pFFFHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM! me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.

15 Dec 2022 at 18:13 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

debussy

Pictures of the treble clefs drawn by composers Bach, Hadyn, Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Mendelssohn, Schuman, Brahms, Debussy and Ravel. Hadyn's is messy and backwards, Beethoven's is a mess that looks like a backwards S, and Debussy's is the neatest of all
-Beethoven just doesn’t care.
-I’ve reblogged it before, and it still makes me giggle every time.
-Haydn tried.
-Claude put his whole debussy into it.

15 Dec 2022 at 18:43 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

message to all bitches

Deactivated account: message to all bitches
please survive
lesbianmizuki: OP being deactivated is like a dying war general sending out her one final message to her loyal battalion before succumbing to her numerous wounds

16 Dec 2022 at 10:32 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

unknow it

I told this woman I work with to have a happy birthday tomorrow since she's off and she did a double take before asking me how I knew that. when I first started as their boss I made a note of everyone's birthday so I could get them a card/small gift. I told her that and she stared at me for a few moments before saying "I don't like that. no you don't know my birthday. unknow it" then walked away. so this woman I work with has never been born and I've never met her in my life.

maricon-carne
Im sorry but unknow it is so fucking funny

16 Dec 2022 at 15:36 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

festive political compass

Political compass meme format. Horizontal axes labelled anticapitalism-pro capitalism; vertical Pro christmas-anti christmas.
Pro christmas/anti capitalism: Jesus
Anti christmas/anti capitalism: the grinch
Pro christmas/Pro capitalism: Santa
Pro capitalism/anti christmas: scrooge
"I was thinking about how grinch and scrooge are words for people who hate christmas but aren't exactly synonyms then this chart happened"

17 Dec 2022 at 10:36 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

smoking area

tumblr is like the smoking area for social media

17 Dec 2022 at 11:32 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

talking heads songs

'Asking third graders to review talking heads songs'. Photo of a computer presenting Talking Heads speaking in tongues cover.
Post it note in child's handwriting saying "I love it but it's a little weird" and a drawing of a confused cat
Photo of a post it in child's handwriting "no no no no no no no song is this is horrific I hate this aaaaa help me". The writing swirls and wriggles to create a visual poem of madness

17 Dec 2022 at 13:30 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

oracle

Do you ever just wish you could be an ancient oracle and your whole job was to do weed and tell stupid riddles to rich conquerors only for them to misinterpret your words and die

18 Dec 2022 at 12:29 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the boys

referring to my tits as "the boys" not because calling them girls would be dysphoric but because they are like goons to me. henchmen.

18 Dec 2022 at 12:34 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the cardinal

From a fellow cat - please spread the word that the squirrel outside my window is public enemy number one. The cardinal is number two.
PSA please be on the lookout for this suspicious man [photo of a squirrel scampering in grass] and call cat police immediately if you see this individual (do not approach) [photo of a cardinal bird in a tree eating red berries]

For a second there I forgot that cardinal was a type of bird and I didn't hesitate to think that a cat would have a vendetta against a high ranking member of the church, and also that that vendetta would be second to a squirrel
Cat: attention all for safety sake please also be very cautious if you see him [photo of a Catholic cardinal in red regalia] armed and dangerous

18 Dec 2022 at 15:25 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

slutty little candy man

Anon ask: it's because you're a slutty little candy man with poor circulation. try getting a heat lamp?
hornetstabber: who the fuck just called me a slutty little candy man

anon please what does this mean
Anon reply: Canadian sorry lol
hornetstabber: i am fucking cackling like a dumbass thank you this is so funny i love you. slutty little candy man is on my resume now

18 Dec 2022 at 15:39 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the dimension where nightmares live

astercrash:

Did anyone notice how quickly the internet turned into a Lovecraftian horror scenario?

Like we've got this dimension right next to ours, that extends across the entire planet, and it is just brimming with nightmares. We have spambots, viruses, ransomware, this endless legion of malevolent entities that are blindly probing us for weaknesses, seeking only to corrupt, to thieve, to destroy.

Add onto that the corrupted ones themselves, humans who've abandoned morality and given up faces to hunt other people, jeering them, lashing out, seeing how easy it is to kill something you can’t touch or see or smell. They'll corrupt anything they think could be a Vessel for their message and they'll jabber madiy at any who question them. Their chittering haunts every corner of the internet. They are not unlike the spambots in some ways.

Add on top of that the arcane magisters, who are forever working at the cracks between our world and the world we made. Some of them do it for fun, some of them do it for wealth, others do it for the power of nations unwise enough to trust them. There are mages who work to defend against this particular evil, but they are mad prophets, and their advice is almost never heeded, even by those who keep them as protection.

All people know several spells to use the internet. Facebook asks you for the magic words to log in, so does your email, so does your twitter and on and on. The spells are words or a gesture with the hand, some use the colour of your eyes, or the shape of your finger. Our chief of security joked about requiring users to give a drop of blood before they could log in. Many do not understand the humour of mages. The cracks between the two are breaking. IP cameras filled our world with eyes and the magisters learned how to open almost all of them. We all carry magic slabs of glass that if you hold it up to your ear can sing to you with a loved one’s voice, but i you look at it with your eyes, can show you a corrupted human with bleeding orange skin scream the profane with a thousand voices. The other day | saw someone hack a moving vehicle. At one point they made it stop. At another they made it so it couldn’t stop. Some of our best and brightest are going to create an army of four winged bats hovering throughout every city and we are going to connect them directly to the dimension where the nightmares live.

P'm not saying it's all bad, but | am saying Cthulhu lies deathless dreaming in this web we built him and he is waking up.

19 Dec 2022 at 10:16 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

as a woman and a scrappy fan

despazito the birth of scooby doo vs the birth of scrappy doo
[picture of a thrilled-looking cartoon great dane dog wearing glasses and a tie at the bedside of a great dane in a hospital bed marked "Mrs Doo", wearing a nightie and holding a baby great dane wrapped in a blanket]
[picture of a sad-looking great dane wearing a bow in a hospital bed while a baby great dane sits on her lap]
scrappydooisfoundaliveinnebraska: Ya know some people love their kids but are actually KINDA TIRED FROM GOING INTO LABOR I never had kids (yet) but as a woman and a Scrappy fan | needed to say this
mothballwater: as a woman and a scrappy fan

19 Dec 2022 at 10:23 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

traditional english dishes

Traditional English dishes:
Sticky paste
Cribblers
Boiled cutlery
Steamed mash
Oiled tulips
Yorkshire bucket
Oaty wool
Bread dampness
Mushy orange
Spiceless delifht
Monkey in a dishes
Swelly cubits
Boiled pizza
Tripe cake
Bedfordshire ripper
Marmy klemp
Blooded rag
Muffin o'leary
Boiled effuse
Sugary twipples
Potted ape
Stranglers
Tea water soakings

19 Dec 2022 at 12:55 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

star wars name

I've had the dreadful realisation that Bofa Deeznuts is actually a *fantastic* Star Wars name.
OH NO. Of course. He's a Jizz musician.

19 Dec 2022 at 13:00 | Open on masto.ai

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