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Another Angry Woman

if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer

-Alex Jones is literally female coded because of his hysteria. But whatever -OP I know this is a joke nut just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer
13 Dec 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai
711 comments
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

exceeding all expectations

Text chat screenshots: -are you ready to see a flier that's everywhere at my school -if ur prefacing it fuck yeah I am [Poster advertising the vagina monologues with 90s rad-stylr background and a picture of the bee from bee movie saying "ya like vag"] I wasn't ready forbiddenseason: I'm exceeding all expectations
13 Dec 2022 at 11:45 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the emperor's new clothes but in reverse

I own a bad dragon hoodie just so I can wear it in public and nobody can say anything without admitting that they know what it is The emperor's new clothes but in reverse. Nobody can acknowledge my clothing without embarrassing themselves as well
13 Dec 2022 at 17:17 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

studying for the bechdel test

i'm studying for the bechdel test but my teacher isn't very good and he isn't helping at all Fuck
13 Dec 2022 at 17:22 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye: you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said *i have 5 kids” witchraft-with-space-bean: I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. | asked her why, and she shrugged and said I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog: new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks Katjohnadams: Actual conversation | had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can | get you, today?” “How much s it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- Im sorry?” “A venti cup. How much to fil it with Espresso?” “Oh. uh. Well, it'd be | suppose... | only have a button for a Quad. | dort have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink> “Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?” *deep breath of fear* *It'd be a quad with;* “clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, | should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- “Taste means nothing to me=” At this point | am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being. “Oh. Well, okay.” | put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that | must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, | shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, Iam sure of it. “Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?” My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma‘am> “How many can | add?” Futile though it s, at least | know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.” “One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. | write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was ... not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No> My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. Ourvisiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup. Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and | was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When | talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about *The Company” as if we'd never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when | share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, “Yeah, I had one like that.”
14 Dec 2022 at 11:39 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

tumblr learns about the big wide world: a collection

malewifenat: Anonymous asked: What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab? malewifenat answered: x.’m palestinian ‘captainlordauditor: [reply screenshot] hey just a heads up! you probably shouldn't call yourself indian if you aren't indigenous :)[picture of a map of the country India] same energy princesskuragina [conversation screenshots] Does Dutch mean like dom butch? NO. It's my nationality.
[post and reply screenshot] hoodrichjay: I hate when people say “I'm Spanish" like no that's a language not a nationalty -boy have i got news for you about a country called spain definitely-not-lordenglish [conversation screenshots] Anonymous asked you really thought that putting I/ait/h in your bio and your carrd would be a sneaky way to let people know that you like vo//itro//n Imao. could've just wrote klance and not use some obscure shipping name that people already know about anyways leorio-moved-deactivated2020022 answered LAITH IS MY NAME IT'S LITERALLY AN ARABIC NAME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT catradoraism [conversation screenshot] Anonymous asked: ° urgh “queensland” just call it england you pretentious bitch logarto answered: ‘ [map of Australia showing Queensland] bigexcluder [screenshot] lee: HUH . . . lee: what pride flag is that. . lee: oh lee guessed the word! The word was 'Germany
Anonymous said Do you have a fetish for men or something [reply is a picture of Tails wearing a shirt with a rainbow saying "I'm gay" [conversation screenshot] Who's Eid. Your gf? Who’s Eid....... there’s more enby-demon-crespy [conversation screenshot] Anonymous asked you seriously think it's okay that you have nazis in your family but you raised mexican catholic™™" whatever the fuck mexican catholic means and high ranking nazis at that? Reply: Look at me. Hey, no, for real, look me in the eyes. Do you think Ashkenazi is a special type of *high ranking” nazi?
Opalite [conversation and reply screenshots] anonymous asked: I dont know who the hell the B stands for but god its disgusting that you ship anyone with Dib. Thats a whole ass child, freak. Wanted to follow for the Pokemon content but you're out here shipping whatever the fuck badr is. Dont fucking ship the kids with irkens jesus christ [reply] HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC | DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON [picture of the Welsh flag] re-unpoputar-opinions These sexuality/gender type flags are stupid and apart from the gay one, no one knows/cares what they mean. wrxthiabella: that... that is the Welsh flag... runofthemillsocialist: Gender of the day: Wales “ Tord-kitschener: LGBTW (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Welsh)
14 Dec 2022 at 11:54 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

you dropped your dick, man

[twitter screencap of a dildo wrapped up in plastic with a postal address sticker on it] "Amazon got me fucked up telling all my business theblackd4hlia: but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible :anonbuddha: If its any consolation, | get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day | was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. | really had to go so I did t fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me. The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, “Umn, you dropped your dick man.” and nudges it over with his foot.
14 Dec 2022 at 12:01 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

task failed successfully

basic-banshee: I keep using my girifriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out. But now the company holiday party is upon us. And I've been lying about the girlfriend. I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies. basic-banshee: like that people have two reactions to this post. Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!” Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU sweet-chesus: Well, which one is it going to be?
basic-banshee: [text screenshots] -Will you come to my company holiday party and pretend to be my girlfriend -I will give you a Starbucks gift card -My boyfriend's dad is a VP at (blurred)-and he and his wife will 100% be there -It's like you don't want our fake dating au to succeed -You have loads of friends! Can't one . of them do it? -You're my only straight friend. | need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end -Just make a Craigslist ad -Omg wait can I help And so it begins ‘ bazfloralsuit: having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now basic-banshee: Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate. basic-banshee: Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig” I now see my mistake
basic-banshee: [more text screenshots] -Would you want to come to my company holiday party with me next weekend and pretend to be my fake girlfriend -Are you still talking about this -Collin said you were joking -I am 93% serious -Can I wear a suit? How butch do | . need to be? -Oh my god yes you can wear a suit? You can be as butch as your heart desires, there are no limits -Are you actually down because I'm p serious. Free dinner! -Yeah I'm down! Can you feed my cat . that following weekend? Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action. justluckyiguess: My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating basic-banshee: Can confirm | am meeting and mating just fine
basic-banshee: By the way I'm in a relationship with this woman now cooliopumpkin [screenshot of John Mulaney, modified to make him say, "That's what | thought you'd say, you |esbian"] basic-banshee: This is the feedback I've been looking for charlesoberonn: [screenshot of the first text conversation, highlighting "I need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end " basic-banshee: [a windows button, with the text saying "Task failed successfully"]
15 Dec 2022 at 11:21 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
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Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

festive political compass

Political compass meme format. Horizontal axes labelled anticapitalism-pro capitalism; vertical Pro christmas-anti christmas. Pro christmas/anti capitalism: Jesus Anti christmas/anti capitalism: the grinch Pro christmas/Pro capitalism: Santa Pro capitalism/anti christmas: scrooge "I was thinking about how grinch and scrooge are words for people who hate christmas but aren't exactly synonyms then this chart happened"
17 Dec 2022 at 10:36 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the dimension where nightmares live

astercrash: Did anyone notice how quickly the internet turned into a Lovecraftian horror scenario? Like we've got this dimension right next to ours, that extends across the entire planet, and it is just brimming with nightmares. We have spambots, viruses, ransomware, this endless legion of malevolent entities that are blindly probing us for weaknesses, seeking only to corrupt, to thieve, to destroy. Add onto that the corrupted ones themselves, humans who've abandoned morality and given up faces to hunt other people, jeering them, lashing out, seeing how easy it is to kill something you can’t touch or see or smell. They'll corrupt anything they think could be a Vessel for their message and they'll jabber madiy at any who question them. Their chittering haunts every corner of the internet. They are not unlike the spambots in some ways. Add on top of that the arcane magisters, who are forever working at the cracks between our world and the world we made. Some of them do it for fun, some of them do it for wealth, others do it for the power of nations unwise enough to trust them. There are mages who work to defend against this particular evil, but they are mad prophets, and their advice is almost never heeded, even by those who keep them as protection.
All people know several spells to use the internet. Facebook asks you for the magic words to log in, so does your email, so does your twitter and on and on. The spells are words or a gesture with the hand, some use the colour of your eyes, or the shape of your finger. Our chief of security joked about requiring users to give a drop of blood before they could log in. Many do not understand the humour of mages. The cracks between the two are breaking. IP cameras filled our world with eyes and the magisters learned how to open almost all of them. We all carry magic slabs of glass that if you hold it up to your ear can sing to you with a loved one’s voice, but i you look at it with your eyes, can show you a corrupted human with bleeding orange skin scream the profane with a thousand voices. The other day | saw someone hack a moving vehicle. At one point they made it stop. At another they made it so it couldn’t stop. Some of our best and brightest are going to create an army of four winged bats hovering throughout every city and we are going to connect them directly to the dimension where the nightmares live. P'm not saying it's all bad, but | am saying Cthulhu lies deathless dreaming in this web we built him and he is waking up.
19 Dec 2022 at 10:16 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

as a woman and a scrappy fan

despazito the birth of scooby doo vs the birth of scrappy doo [picture of a thrilled-looking cartoon great dane dog wearing glasses and a tie at the bedside of a great dane in a hospital bed marked "Mrs Doo", wearing a nightie and holding a baby great dane wrapped in a blanket] [picture of a sad-looking great dane wearing a bow in a hospital bed while a baby great dane sits on her lap] scrappydooisfoundaliveinnebraska: Ya know some people love their kids but are actually KINDA TIRED FROM GOING INTO LABOR I never had kids (yet) but as a woman and a Scrappy fan | needed to say this mothballwater: as a woman and a scrappy fan
19 Dec 2022 at 10:23 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

traditional english dishes

Traditional English dishes: Sticky paste Cribblers Boiled cutlery Steamed mash Oiled tulips Yorkshire bucket Oaty wool Bread dampness Mushy orange Spiceless delifht Monkey in a dishes Swelly cubits Boiled pizza Tripe cake Bedfordshire ripper Marmy klemp Blooded rag Muffin o'leary Boiled effuse Sugary twipples Potted ape Stranglers Tea water soakings
19 Dec 2022 at 12:55 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

are you gonna eat all that

nealashitposts: I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when Iwas a kid. Like she'd never let herself take naps or sleep if | was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. Sowhen | was 6, | was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when | hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and | 'm like "Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya'll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell I didn’t want to get arrested so | just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she'll call the damn police on you. So | have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until | say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as | say the words "When | was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place So obviously that’s not what really went down. | call up my mom to tell her how | remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened.
So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window. Now | just want ya'll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe. Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” Reply: A speech bubble coming from the tumblr default avatar, a figure in sunglasses, pulling up in a car. Second panel reveals they are talking to a scared person at a drive-through fast food place.
20 Dec 2022 at 10:40 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

there was room for draco in the minivan

charlemane: i'm still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren't enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind like you fool. you fucking fool. ive ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just be i didn't wanna watt to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn't put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts?2? people died be of your poor minivan management skills, harry charlemane: i drafted this in a blind rage immediately upon waking up today and i may have misremembered some plot points of the Harry Potter series spikenards: #THERE ' WAS ROOM ' FOR " DRACO ' IN «" THE MINIVAN (via @dracomalfoyofficial)
20 Dec 2022 at 10:46 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
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Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
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sorry for the late reply

man one time I saw a comment on a sewing website that had posted a dress pattern for a 2 year old where the comment was asking for help resizing it to fit a 1 year old and a year later the website owner responded with "sorry for the late reply, it should fit now"
21 Dec 2022 at 14:00 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

reverse dracula / they very much did kill jesus

Christian account: Stock image of a woman taking a selfie. In the phone screen, behind her we see Jesus. Captioned "It's never just a selfie" benfoldsone: this is some horror movie shit lucentgallivanter : #Jesus is a reverse-Dracula #vis a vis appearing in photos Examining the other evidence, we find: « Feeds other people his own blood « An affinity for crucifixes « Not only able to cross water but can also walk on it
theloa: Shows up uninvited in people’s houses Can't turn into a bat thyrell: ok now i dont wanna be that guy but i feel like crucifixes were like, still pretty harmful to jesus actually pro-gay: they very much did kill jesus spiritual successor post
Screenshot of the iconic "they very much did kill Jesus" Kimjong-chill: i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it's a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets bumed at the stake mattheuphonium: fabulous tockthewatchdog: i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened like i understand where you're coming from here but they very much did kill josus. (inline reply on original reverse dracula thread) theredkite: Vampire: can’t have garlic bread Jesus: can BE garlic bread
22 Dec 2022 at 11:42 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the proletariat make do

(screenshot of a forum thread) (redacted) sex toys seem like the kind of things bourgeoisie with too much time on their hands possess (reply)is this a joke or are you genuinely . telling me the working class neither masturbates nor fucks (original redacted tankie account) member of the proletariat that values sexual satisfaction via means of pricey masturbation equipment rather than actual essential commodities, is a class enemy who is entertaining bourgeois materialistic ideas guerillatech: This person is trying to rationalize puritanical values through the lense of Marxism. They are reactionary and want to spin it as wokeness.
Drawing of a woman, bottomless, walking away from a corncob in a field of corn. The cob is covered in glistening transparent juice. Captioned "Bourgeoisie buy vibrators. The proletariat make do"
22 Dec 2022 at 11:47 | Open on masto.ai
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman
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