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Another Angry Woman

when peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them

sytherenne: [screnshot] While this show has some SERIOUS '90s vibes, it's not bad! | absolutely see the appeal. | love that it's about girls finding their inner strength, kicking ass, and defeating evil. Out of all the reboots that have happened, I'm surprised that this hasn't been touched yet. | still don't know why Spike and Angel seem like older men compared to Buffy, but | guess people were into it? But also — was there ever a Team Spike or Team Angel like Team Edward/Jacob LET ME KNOW. I can't believe | had to read this sentence in a buzzfeed thing about BtVS with ‘my own goddamn eyes how is it possible this has slipped from the mind of the collective conscious, people died in this conflict, know your fandom history jeeze etraytin: It's the way of all wars. When peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them.
7 Dec 2022 at 12:22 | Open on masto.ai
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can't believe i didn't realise i was gay right then

vampireapologist actually when | was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as. a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important. but it didn't stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk | was 13, | was going to show up. | was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me? the drama. the theatrics. i can't believe i didn't realize i was gay right then but that's another story, also involving vampires, wuackamole hate to burst your fantasy, but 1) vampires don't show up in film 2) vampires can't cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean ; vampireapologist You've got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you're wrong, but on the other hand, saying *you clearly didn't read twiight" doesn't exactly make you look like the bad guy here
8 Dec 2022 at 11:51 | Open on masto.ai
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the ideological opposite of a catgirl

prokopetz: Prompt: the ideological opposite of a catgirl. z-nogyrop: So, a catgirl is a human woman who has taken on certain traits of the cat, which is a housepet known for its temperament - it is affectionate when it chooses to be, but it must choose to be. the appeal of the catgirl is the implication that the woman has decided, much like a cat, that the viewer is worthy of affection. thus the ideological opposite would be a feral creature that is known for being tame except for when it is provoked. countless examples of this exist in nature, so to narrow our options we will select one which is generally considered “scary” as a parallel to the “cute” cat, as is also as far away as viable from a cat. as an extremely social invertebrate, compared to the relatively solitary and spined nature of the housecat, i believe the hornet is the perfect choice; despite popular belief hornets are not aggressive unless and until they are given a reason to be.
then there is the fusion of cat and girl. the catgirl takes the “cutest” and most traditional elements of the cat - ears, tail, and whiskers - and assembles them onto the girl. thus, our inverted catgirl ought to take the most disturbing and detestable elements of the human and assemble them onto the hornet. for this exercise i will propose the. spine (deformed due to our bipedal nature compared to most creatures), the chin (a structure that no other animal possesses), and the penis (for obvious reasons). thus, we can safely conclude that the ideological opposite of the catgirl is [picture of the bee from bee movie] prokopetz: Take your prize and get out of my house.
9 Dec 2022 at 12:19 | Open on masto.ai
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understanding a newspaper political cartoon

Food pyramid with every category set to pussy. Stick men cartoon "And just let him fucking die?" Pointing at pic of DJ Khaled
Close up photo of Obama's eyes -this post isn't written in any known human language -is this what understanding a newspaper political cartoon is like?
10 Dec 2022 at 12:42 | Open on masto.ai
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fingers in his ass sunday

fingers in ass Sunday you know what day ir is addicted to fingers in his ass Sunday [Salute screenshot] See you on the other side, true heroes
11 Dec 2022 at 21:45 | Open on masto.ai
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ways to look more angelic

stargogh: ways to look more angelic: « carry flowers everywhere « pink or gold eye shadow + wearlong ankle dresses + soft humming + have a pink glowy blush: ishtarelisheba. + wield a flaming sword we-aim-to-misbehave + Be covered in eyes
garaviel: three pairs of wings wellpardonme: Wheel princettior: announce your arrival by screaming “FEAR NOT" everywhere you og
12 Dec 2022 at 10:59 | Open on masto.ai
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if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer

-Alex Jones is literally female coded because of his hysteria. But whatever -OP I know this is a joke nut just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer
13 Dec 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai
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exceeding all expectations

Text chat screenshots: -are you ready to see a flier that's everywhere at my school -if ur prefacing it fuck yeah I am [Poster advertising the vagina monologues with 90s rad-stylr background and a picture of the bee from bee movie saying "ya like vag"] I wasn't ready forbiddenseason: I'm exceeding all expectations
13 Dec 2022 at 11:45 | Open on masto.ai
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the emperor's new clothes but in reverse

I own a bad dragon hoodie just so I can wear it in public and nobody can say anything without admitting that they know what it is The emperor's new clothes but in reverse. Nobody can acknowledge my clothing without embarrassing themselves as well
13 Dec 2022 at 17:17 | Open on masto.ai
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studying for the bechdel test

i'm studying for the bechdel test but my teacher isn't very good and he isn't helping at all Fuck
13 Dec 2022 at 17:22 | Open on masto.ai
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new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye: you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said *i have 5 kids” witchraft-with-space-bean: I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. | asked her why, and she shrugged and said I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog: new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks Katjohnadams: Actual conversation | had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can | get you, today?” “How much s it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- Im sorry?” “A venti cup. How much to fil it with Espresso?” “Oh. uh. Well, it'd be | suppose... | only have a button for a Quad. | dort have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink> “Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?” *deep breath of fear* *It'd be a quad with;* “clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, | should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- “Taste means nothing to me=” At this point | am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being. “Oh. Well, okay.” | put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that | must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, | shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, Iam sure of it. “Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?” My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma‘am> “How many can | add?” Futile though it s, at least | know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.” “One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. | write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was ... not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No> My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. Ourvisiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup. Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and | was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When | talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about *The Company” as if we'd never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when | share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, “Yeah, I had one like that.”
14 Dec 2022 at 11:39 | Open on masto.ai
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tumblr learns about the big wide world: a collection

malewifenat: Anonymous asked: What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab? malewifenat answered: x.’m palestinian ‘captainlordauditor: [reply screenshot] hey just a heads up! you probably shouldn't call yourself indian if you aren't indigenous :)[picture of a map of the country India] same energy princesskuragina [conversation screenshots] Does Dutch mean like dom butch? NO. It's my nationality.
[post and reply screenshot] hoodrichjay: I hate when people say “I'm Spanish" like no that's a language not a nationalty -boy have i got news for you about a country called spain definitely-not-lordenglish [conversation screenshots] Anonymous asked you really thought that putting I/ait/h in your bio and your carrd would be a sneaky way to let people know that you like vo//itro//n Imao. could've just wrote klance and not use some obscure shipping name that people already know about anyways leorio-moved-deactivated2020022 answered LAITH IS MY NAME IT'S LITERALLY AN ARABIC NAME WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT catradoraism [conversation screenshot] Anonymous asked: ° urgh “queensland” just call it england you pretentious bitch logarto answered: ‘ [map of Australia showing Queensland] bigexcluder [screenshot] lee: HUH . . . lee: what pride flag is that. . lee: oh lee guessed the word! The word was 'Germany
Anonymous said Do you have a fetish for men or something [reply is a picture of Tails wearing a shirt with a rainbow saying "I'm gay" [conversation screenshot] Who's Eid. Your gf? Who’s Eid....... there’s more enby-demon-crespy [conversation screenshot] Anonymous asked you seriously think it's okay that you have nazis in your family but you raised mexican catholic™™" whatever the fuck mexican catholic means and high ranking nazis at that? Reply: Look at me. Hey, no, for real, look me in the eyes. Do you think Ashkenazi is a special type of *high ranking” nazi?
Opalite [conversation and reply screenshots] anonymous asked: I dont know who the hell the B stands for but god its disgusting that you ship anyone with Dib. Thats a whole ass child, freak. Wanted to follow for the Pokemon content but you're out here shipping whatever the fuck badr is. Dont fucking ship the kids with irkens jesus christ [reply] HUH????? BADR IS MY NAME ITS A NAME IN ARABIC | DON’T EVEN WATCH ZIM DUGDHBCHBVHJVFH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON [picture of the Welsh flag] re-unpoputar-opinions These sexuality/gender type flags are stupid and apart from the gay one, no one knows/cares what they mean. wrxthiabella: that... that is the Welsh flag... runofthemillsocialist: Gender of the day: Wales “ Tord-kitschener: LGBTW (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Welsh)
14 Dec 2022 at 11:54 | Open on masto.ai
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you dropped your dick, man

[twitter screencap of a dildo wrapped up in plastic with a postal address sticker on it] "Amazon got me fucked up telling all my business theblackd4hlia: but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible :anonbuddha: If its any consolation, | get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day | was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. | really had to go so I did t fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me. The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, “Umn, you dropped your dick man.” and nudges it over with his foot.
14 Dec 2022 at 12:01 | Open on masto.ai
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task failed successfully

basic-banshee: I keep using my girifriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out. But now the company holiday party is upon us. And I've been lying about the girlfriend. I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies. basic-banshee: like that people have two reactions to this post. Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!” Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU sweet-chesus: Well, which one is it going to be?
basic-banshee: [text screenshots] -Will you come to my company holiday party and pretend to be my girlfriend -I will give you a Starbucks gift card -My boyfriend's dad is a VP at (blurred)-and he and his wife will 100% be there -It's like you don't want our fake dating au to succeed -You have loads of friends! Can't one . of them do it? -You're my only straight friend. | need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end -Just make a Craigslist ad -Omg wait can I help And so it begins ‘ bazfloralsuit: having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now basic-banshee: Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate. basic-banshee: Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig” I now see my mistake
basic-banshee: [more text screenshots] -Would you want to come to my company holiday party with me next weekend and pretend to be my fake girlfriend -Are you still talking about this -Collin said you were joking -I am 93% serious -Can I wear a suit? How butch do | . need to be? -Oh my god yes you can wear a suit? You can be as butch as your heart desires, there are no limits -Are you actually down because I'm p serious. Free dinner! -Yeah I'm down! Can you feed my cat . that following weekend? Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action. justluckyiguess: My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating basic-banshee: Can confirm | am meeting and mating just fine
basic-banshee: By the way I'm in a relationship with this woman now cooliopumpkin [screenshot of John Mulaney, modified to make him say, "That's what | thought you'd say, you |esbian"] basic-banshee: This is the feedback I've been looking for charlesoberonn: [screenshot of the first text conversation, highlighting "I need insurance that we won't fall in love by the end " basic-banshee: [a windows button, with the text saying "Task failed successfully"]
15 Dec 2022 at 11:21 | Open on masto.ai
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