Email or username:

Password:

Forgot your password?
764 comments
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

imitation seawater (too long to fully alt-text, screenreader users can enjoy the whole thing here: elodieunderglass.tumblr.com/po )

cerinthescarietpescatarian: “X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy | hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood). . derinthescarletpescatarian: “Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It's very simple. ‘ badwificonnection: Blood is what now? derinthescarletpescatarian: It's imitation seawater what part is confusing
badwificonnection [math lady meme]
derinthescarletpescatarian:

#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums?

Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.

Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.

badwificonnection:

#the inside of your intestine is outside of you

#just like the inside of your lungs and stomach

#although the mucuses and stomach

acids are partly made of filtered blood | auess

Thank you that’s...very disturbing

derinthescarletpescatarian:

It’s not my fault you’re human.

apatheticshipwreck:

Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever. derinthescarletpescatarian:

You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
' derinthescarletpescatarian:

#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part that’s confusing

Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow;” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs | can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that's the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so | don't explode or shrivel up) so | can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”

“Wait a minute;” you say a couple of generations later, because you're not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about | put it in tubes? | can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything | want to keep goes in my water! Anything | don’t, | dump back into the outside water! I'm a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that's a GENIUS!”

“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is S0 great.
Ea elodieunderglass Follow

Well, there’s another few steps, of course.

Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal.

Amammal is a machine for adapting to Circumstances. A mammal is atremendously resilient all-terrain life-support system, with built-in heating, cooling, respiration, and incubators for reproduction. Mammals internalise everything (grudges, eggs) and furthermore are excessively, flamboyantly wet internally. Sure, everyone’s a bag of chemicals; but mammals sfosh. Mammals took the concept of an internal ocean and took it in an unnecessarily splashy direction, added aftermarket mods and a climate-control system,

and just to show off, you leaned across the metaphorical gambling table and said: “my internal ocean is so good-

*“Bullshit,” said the shark, keeping it salty (ha)

“My internal ocean is so brilliantly resilient, more so than any of YOURS;” you said, holding their attention with a digit held aloft, “that for my next trick, | shall artistically recreate the ballad of evolution as a performance. | shall craft a complex chemical ballet depicting the origin of multicellular life - using some of my own material, of course-”

“Oh, ANYONE can lay an egg,” yodel the fish, and the ray adds: “ontogeny does NOT recapitulate phylogeny!”

And you're like, “yeah no, it’s an artistic rendition, not a literal thing. Basically P'm going to take some cells and brew them up-"

“Like an egg.”
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

when peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them

sytherenne:
[screnshot]
While this show has some SERIOUS '90s vibes, it's not bad! | absolutely see the appeal. | love that it's about girls finding their inner strength, kicking ass, and defeating evil. Out of all the reboots that have happened, I'm surprised that this hasn't been touched yet. | still don't know why Spike and Angel seem like older men compared to Buffy, but | guess people were into it? But also — was there ever a Team Spike or Team Angel like Team Edward/Jacob LET ME KNOW.

I can't believe | had to read this sentence in a buzzfeed thing about BtVS with ‘my own goddamn eyes how is it possible this has slipped from the mind of the collective conscious, people died in this conflict, know your fandom history jeeze

etraytin:
It's the way of all wars. When peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them.
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

can't believe i didn't realise i was gay right then

 vampireapologist
actually when | was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as. a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn't stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk | was 13, | was going to show up. | was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can't believe i didn't realize i was gay right then but that's another story, also involving vampires,

wuackamole

hate to burst your fantasy, but

1) vampires don't show up in film

2) vampires can't cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean ; 

vampireapologist

You've got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you're wrong, but on the other hand, saying *you clearly didn't read twiight" doesn't exactly make you look like the bad guy here
Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the ideological opposite of a catgirl

prokopetz:
Prompt: the ideological opposite of a catgirl.

z-nogyrop:
So, a catgirl is a human woman who has taken on certain traits of the cat, which is a housepet known for its temperament - it is affectionate when it chooses to be, but it must choose to be. the appeal of the catgirl is the implication that the woman has decided, much like a cat, that the viewer is worthy of affection. thus the ideological opposite would be a feral creature that is known for being tame except for when it is provoked. countless examples of this exist in nature, so to narrow our options we will select one which is generally considered “scary” as a parallel to the “cute” cat, as is also as far away as viable from a cat. as an extremely social invertebrate, compared to the relatively solitary and spined nature of the housecat, i believe the hornet is the perfect choice; despite popular belief hornets are not aggressive unless and until they are given a reason to be.
then there is the fusion of cat and girl. the catgirl takes the “cutest” and most traditional elements of the cat - ears, tail, and whiskers - and assembles them onto the girl. thus, our inverted catgirl ought to take the most disturbing and detestable elements of the human and assemble them onto the hornet. for this exercise i will propose the. spine (deformed due to our bipedal nature compared to most creatures), the chin (a structure that no other animal possesses), and the penis (for obvious reasons).

thus, we can safely conclude that the ideological opposite of the catgirl is [picture of the bee from bee movie]

prokopetz:

Take your prize and get out of my house.
Go Up