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Another Angry Woman

the laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise

@ trediocity tattletales are lawful evil By, redlocity Yes, Kevin, | brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.
28 Nov 2022 at 15:49 | Open on masto.ai
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perverted deviance of modern society

argumate: Our descendants wil find our songs about butts and preference for thick ones ridiculously quaint, much like the Victorians going apeshit over visible ankies. BB argumate #g0d knows what they wil be into #livers maybe g alkthash Our constant exposure to pornography and easy smut will numb us to nudiy. Eventually the hot new fetish will be gastro shows, where live holographic display of the performers internal organs. BB argumate did you just invent vore
When | was a litle kid being allowed to look things up on the internet for the. first time, my mom gave me a Talk on Internet Safety. There were Things On The Internet, she explained. Inappropriate Things. Things | Was Too Young To See. Little me fel that | was a Girl Of The World. | had Seen Things, | pointed out We had gone to the art museum; we had visited the part with the ancient Greek and Roman statues. | had seen (sotto voce) naked people. Not just in skimpy clothing, or underwear, or even fig leaf, but entirely naked! There was nothing left for me to see! My (poor, patient) mother sighed. No, she explained, there were Other Things. Things | Had Not Seen. Things Of Which | Did Not Know. They were on the internet, and | was to avoid them It was clear that this was the Parental Final World. But Small Me was left terribly, terribly curious. I'd thought I'd understood how things worked - a picture of a person in regular clothes was modest; a picture of a person in a litle less than that, like Marilyn Monroe with her skirt being blown up, was a litle bit racy; a picture of a person in underwear was pretty much a sex thing; and a picture of a totally naked person was (if it wasn't art or anatomy) pornography.
So how could there be something more so than a totally naked person? What could this wrong forbidden inappropriate unnatural thing be? The sequence so far had made sense! Less clothes, more inappropriate! And eventually you got down to nothing at all at which point you'd seen everything there was to see and nothing was left private anymore and married people could engage in baby-producing activities! So I mulled this over for a long time. And finally, | came to a conclusion: Clearly, the next step in the sequence had to be taking off your skin. This was extremely explanatory! No wonder this Secret Thing was so wrong — you had to skin someone alive to produce it! No wonder they didn't want kids seeing it - how traumatic! This really was a Perverted Deviance Of Modern Society!
‘Small Me proceeded to make the obvious series of extrapolations from this. There would be videos of people slowly and sexily removing their own skin, or other people’s skin, of course. There'd be images arranged to fook like. ‘someone was removing their skin when they really weren't. Some truly disturbed perverts would be watching videos where the muscle was stripped off. to show organs and bones. And no wonder sex slavery and prostitution were so horrifying, if women were being forced into that. (Yes. Yes, | was familiar with the concept of prostitution but couldn't figure out the concept of porn. What can | say: | had a classical education. Turns out one of those comes up in Great Literature a lot more often than the other ) In any case, Small Me continued to operate under this assumption for quite some time. happy in its explanatory power, and feeling Terribly World-Wise And Jaded. (And occasionally feeling vaguely guity that clearly | was ot nearly so innocent as my mother thought) Finding out what pornography actually involved was kind of anticlimactic, really.
29 Nov 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai
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what do your elf eyes see?

cotoneimagpie Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks Evidence: (photo of book) Q25.12 InJ. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings (volume 2, p-32), Legolas the Elf claims to be able to accurately count horsemen and discern their hair color (yel- low) 5 leagues away on a bright, sunny day. Make appropriate estimates and argue that Legolas must have very strange-looking eyes, have some means of nonvisual perception, or have made a lucky guess. (1 league ~ 3.0 mi.) colonelmagpie: Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawail Legolas on physics assignment /And they told you science was no fun.
Drawing of kawaii Legolas with big eyes saying "they're taking the hobbits to Isengard"
glumshoe Legolas's pupil size isn'tthe problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can't see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in orderto see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tal in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn' impossible. But consider. Elven satellite eyeballs [drawing of Legolas with eyestalks
sidereanuncia I shall never find peace. Also, for what its worth, there’s absolutely o reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth s the same s that of Earth. sindri2 There's no evidence that Middle Earth curves. solwardenclyffe Yeah there is. The Silmarilion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (1 believe), preventing access to Valinor. But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic. sindri2 So watt, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the abilty to ignore the curve of the earth? That's awesome. t also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want eff eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarly far while everybody else is limited by this orizon’ bulshit
30 Nov 2022 at 12:09 | Open on masto.ai
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slutshaming alexander hamilton

mejoramie-nin Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic Klutzmer: he cheated. on his wite forcesense: he's also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my lite
: divinedorothy fave things about this post + the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a siut « calling any founding father a siut « the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty litle tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS « that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks “siut shaming" and “Isnt t gross that he cheated on his wife” are the same thing « Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210 « 210 slutty, sluty years + the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they'e talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS + the fact that the words *Slutshaming® and “Alexander Hamilion” have been used in the same sentence « i mean just apply what we'd traditionally think of as “slut shaming” to Alexander Hamilton « His frock coat is t0o tight, his breaches are 5o short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? | heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock « ibarely know who alexander hamiton is
30 Nov 2022 at 12:22 | Open on masto.ai
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clown in heat

disastertarper You know as a former clown breeder | do have to say that breeding clowns isn't as easy as selecting your male and your female and putting them in the same enclosure. First, you have to make sure your female s ready to mate. Ifyou put a male and a female together when the female is not ready, you're going to waste time, effort, and supplies. Really, check your clowns for readiness to breed! Each breed of clown is ready to mate at different intervals (as little as 14 day cycles to as long as 3 years), so it’s probably best to do your research on your clown’s schedule. It's fairly easy to decipher if she’s ready, once you've gotten down the basics of what clown readiness looks like. [photo of a woman clown in a spotted dress with striped tights]
This female is not ready to breed. Her natural markings are still very bright and colorful, and her “fleshy” tones only really extend on her hands and somewhat on her face. An inexperienced clown breeder might consider this clown ‘ready’ because she’s getting rather mono- chromatic with her markings on her legs and arms, but this should never be mistaken for the fleshy tone that signals a female is ready. [photo of a woman clown in a bright jacket, rainbow top and striped and spotty skirt] This female is ready. The flesh tone has extended from her hands up to her elbows, and I'd bet you money the tone extends beneath the knee as well. Her facial markings are much brighter, and her variety and intensity of color tell me this clown and well and truly ready to mate. How exciting!
Second, your clowns have to be properly fed. | know people have previously gone over proper clown care and feeding (fresh spun cotton candy is a must, they're obligate candyvores), but introducing the breeding pair can be a very stressful time for clowns. It's a good idea to supplement your candy diet with some fresh salted popcorn, or maybe giant novelty lollipops- you know, regular clown treats. This will help your clowns feel more at ease as they transition into your breeding tent. [photo of popcorn] Finally, clowns can be particular about when they mate. You’ll know it's happening because of the distinctive high pitched honking both breeding partners produce. It can take up to a week for clowns to acclimate to their mate and the tent you've transferred them to, so don’t get discouraged if you put your clowns together and nothing happens for a few days! They may just be skittish. Feel free to introduce additional toys and treats like a fresh batch of balloons or a unicycle to try to help them feel comfortable. What I've found with my clowns, back when | did this, is that most. clowns seemed to prefer breeding between four and seven a.m., when chances for frivolity and merriment are low regardless. Now, the honking is extremely loud, so if you are going to breed your clowns, invest in some earplugs and a white noise machine.
That's how you can get your clowns to mate, but this s getting really long, so | won't go into clown gestation specifics for now, or how to care for the young. Just know your work i far from over. ‘ thyrell: can you imagine being a professional clown and finding a screenshot of a tumblr post on clownstagram or whatever where someones sharing a picture of you in costume and saying its what a clown looks like when theyre in heat.
1 Dec 2022 at 11:37 | Open on masto.ai
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cruel and pointless war

shinolavolume: making my humidifier and dehumidifier participate in a cruel and pointless war starjasmines: innocent soldiers fighting to benefit only war profiteers (electric company)
2 Dec 2022 at 10:26 | Open on masto.ai
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depressed, stinky, thirsty

wikihow screenshot of dogs with problems. Sad dog labelled "depressed". Sad dog labelled "stinky". Dog drinking labelled "thirsty". Quendergeer: but all that changed when the itchy nation attacked
2 Dec 2022 at 10:29 | Open on masto.ai
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olaf

God | fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, | hate him. | hate him so much. So FUCKING much Every time | see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and 'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, | like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. | hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and Your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*imart checkout line.
It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. | find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and | alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himseif fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must | have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? | must Unmake this fictional snowman l childoftheunwalkedway: I'd feel better about this whole rant if Olaf weren't queer-coded. It might be largely the voice acting - the lisp, the inflection especially - but he's got massive "harmless gay sidekick” vibes. And if you're actively critiquing that? Sure, great, go all out. Hate whom you will. Say whatever you want about how "gay” is equated with "harmless silly sidekick used for comic relief, with no serious bearing on the plot, literally inhuman and treated by Serious Human Characters as... well,a sidekick, peripheral to your life and safe to ignore. But if you're not engaging critically with that aspect of his character and are just overwhelmed with hatred whenever you see or hear or think about the queer-coded character and his mannerisms make you feel violent, that is a little bit. Uncomfortable. At best.
Girl shouting knives meme format, with two girls shouting knives. The first is shouting "god I fucking hate olaf the snow man" and the beginning of the first post, trailing off. The second is shouting "I'd feel better about this whole rant if olaf weren't queer coded". Both knives are stabbing a guy
2 Dec 2022 at 11:19 | Open on masto.ai
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only a cis deals in absolutes

Screenshot. Select your gender. Two options, an emoji with short brown hair or one of long. Underneath each, picture of Obi Wan and Anakin from prequels (same hairstyles) There they are, the two genders Samael: only a cis deals in absolutes
4 Dec 2022 at 12:32 | Open on masto.ai
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discourse from the year 2043

discourse from the year 2043: getting a song stuck in your head is immoral because it takes money away from the artists that would get paid if you were actually listening to it
4 Dec 2022 at 17:40 | Open on masto.ai
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