 i don't think i know anybody who is joyful about it why even bother with the effort and money lol 35 comments | Expand all CWs
@munin group of people celebrating "being themselves" and "body positivity" and then fucking no one is actually positive about it except in the surveys for the shrinks it really doesn't help that i feel roughly the same about hrt, after that one time i got drugged with mdma and then injected with estradiol without consent @munin i _think_ she did it so that she'd have an easier time raping me? she did something similar (not literally the same actions but same general idea) to someone else  @whitequark ..........wow that is fucked up on .....many, many, many levels, and holy shit that is such a fucking violation @munin this was shortly followed by a surgeon fucking up our orchi with fairly significant and, at this point, clearly permanent nerve damage this was after my headmate discussed the procedure with her in extremely specific detail, only to find out that she did not, in fact, do what she said she will she wasn't some random urologist either, she does grs too, has good reviews. even in retrospect i don't know how it could've been avoided @munin i spent a year with no hrt at all after orchi and to this day it feels better to exist that way the main reason we still use estradiol (injectables, too) is to reduce fatigue (primary) and prevent bone density loss (secondary) it does not bring me joy, i don't really like the mental state it puts me in, and (unsurprisingly) i do not really enjoy any sort of sexuality while on it, vs. with no sex hormones at all @whitequark not surprising in the least given the -incredibly- traumatic and violating nature of being introduced to it x.x @munin no i was on oral e2 for like 3 or 4 years by that point she just wanted me to be on injectables. cause the drop in e2 at the end makes u horny @munin i know for a fact (have written direct evidence of) that she planned the entire sequence of events beforehand, got some assistance, etc. @whitequark ......ok so the fundamental "someone else violated your bodily autonomy and agency" situation -as a whole- is turbofucked in a lot of different ways, but to manipulate in that fashion is......incredibly malicious @munin i've heard she's doing the usual DARVO thing too, claiming that i sexually abused her :)  @whitequark @munin I've said before, they need to invent a hormone that doesn't masculinize or feminize, it just keeps your bones from going away and your brain from fogging. I need less gender, not more. @whitequark @munin anyway I'm in the second camp. I was pursuing it and after 9 months my HMO said I was too fat for vaginaplasty. so either I find new insurance or lose like 100lb/45kg. I'm slightly bitter  please send me links to your favorite black market sex steroid. i honestly don't give a shit what it is as long as it's "not estradiol" and has any chance of reducing bone density loss when used long term  In my case it’s only partially spite — it’s mainly that I’m a girl and girls tend to have a somewhat less prominent clit than I’ve got right now. It’s possible that I'll be unhappier after the earthmovers are finished, but my reactions to improving my boobs, hips, and lips have been universally positive, so i’d be surprised if bottom surgery was any different  @whitequark Yes, the people who claim that such things are a choice, and the people can simply choose to be what society says they should be, are completely clueless. It would be easier to choose not to breathe. If it was "just a choice", rather than being seriously tied to both physical and mental health, I doubt that many would "choose" the path less taken, given how badly society then treats them.  @whitequark i feel like this is due to not being in the right circles for grs to be joyous; i absolutely know most people who've gotten grs in my circles love it @streganil this is my assumption but knowing this doesn't necessarily help changing it  @whitequark i mean, "joyful" is probably a strong way of putting it. i'm pretty content with what i ended up with, and i consider it worth it after these five years. minimal complications because i went to one of the most experienced surgeons. helps that single-payer healthcare here in Canada wrote the cheque. truth be told, i don't really think about it much these days. it's just the shape of my body now. i would hesitate to generalize based on the shared trauma of those you commiserate with. @AmyZenunim i think "joyful" is more or less a way in which i describe "being pretty content with your body, enough to talk about it"  @whitequark @AmyZenunim I might also count as being "joyful" there, depending on how you look at it. I definitely feel comfortable with my vulva and I like it, but I'm ace and don't think about it much. (I still wouldn't consider myself content with my body, mostly because of weird beauty standards stuff. Genitals are unrelated to that though) @erisceleste i'm grey-ace and the primary reason i'm interested in sex in a visceral way is _because_ of how it makes (or rather, not makes, in practice) me feel about my body, so like it's not like i don't relate to that it's in a somewhat more complex way but not completely unlike @erisceleste it's possible i'd feel more ace after (and happier about it) and it's entirely possible i'd feel less ace after, i'm honestly fairly fine with either, what i'm not fine with is the existing state @erisceleste i was _absolutely_ joyful about orchi. i don't have gonads in the body map, never did, literally my first or second memory ever is about that, so finally having a body that matched it, even with the botched surgery, was really good so i have some point of reference here @erisceleste also i should probably point out that the only grs option i'm considering is the nonbinary one, because anything else clearly registers as severe self-harm. i know what's in the body map and the body got to match that of course if i limit my questions to just the like 1 person i know of who got that i would learn nothing |
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@whitequark I know someone who is very joyful about hers, but yeah, a lot more folks are in a shitty situation