Gregory's Serverit really doesn't help that i feel roughly the same about hrt, after that one time i got drugged with mdma and then injected with estradiol without consent
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 @munin i _think_ she did it so that she'd have an easier time raping me? she did something similar (not literally the same actions but same general idea) to someone else  @whitequark ..........wow that is fucked up on .....many, many, many levels, and holy shit that is such a fucking violation @munin this was shortly followed by a surgeon fucking up our orchi with fairly significant and, at this point, clearly permanent nerve damage this was after my headmate discussed the procedure with her in extremely specific detail, only to find out that she did not, in fact, do what she said she will she wasn't some random urologist either, she does grs too, has good reviews. even in retrospect i don't know how it could've been avoided @munin i spent a year with no hrt at all after orchi and to this day it feels better to exist that way the main reason we still use estradiol (injectables, too) is to reduce fatigue (primary) and prevent bone density loss (secondary) it does not bring me joy, i don't really like the mental state it puts me in, and (unsurprisingly) i do not really enjoy any sort of sexuality while on it, vs. with no sex hormones at all @whitequark not surprising in the least given the -incredibly- traumatic and violating nature of being introduced to it x.x @munin no i was on oral e2 for like 3 or 4 years by that point she just wanted me to be on injectables. cause the drop in e2 at the end makes u horny @munin i know for a fact (have written direct evidence of) that she planned the entire sequence of events beforehand, got some assistance, etc. @whitequark ......ok so the fundamental "someone else violated your bodily autonomy and agency" situation -as a whole- is turbofucked in a lot of different ways, but to manipulate in that fashion is......incredibly malicious @munin i've heard she's doing the usual DARVO thing too, claiming that i sexually abused her :)  @whitequark @munin I've said before, they need to invent a hormone that doesn't masculinize or feminize, it just keeps your bones from going away and your brain from fogging. I need less gender, not more. @whitequark @munin anyway I'm in the second camp. I was pursuing it and after 9 months my HMO said I was too fat for vaginaplasty. so either I find new insurance or lose like 100lb/45kg. I'm slightly bitter  please send me links to your favorite black market sex steroid. i honestly don't give a shit what it is as long as it's "not estradiol" and has any chance of reducing bone density loss when used long term |
@whitequark wait -what-