Gregory's Server@erisceleste it's possible i'd feel more ace after (and happier about it) and it's entirely possible i'd feel less ace after, i'm honestly fairly fine with either, what i'm not fine with is the existing state
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3 comments
 @erisceleste i was _absolutely_ joyful about orchi. i don't have gonads in the body map, never did, literally my first or second memory ever is about that, so finally having a body that matched it, even with the botched surgery, was really good so i have some point of reference here @erisceleste also i should probably point out that the only grs option i'm considering is the nonbinary one, because anything else clearly registers as severe self-harm. i know what's in the body map and the body got to match that of course if i limit my questions to just the like 1 person i know of who got that i would learn nothing |
@whitequark while probably not knowing it quite so well, there's some familiarity in that
going in, a common theme of the discussion was "i don't care if this 'works' or not it will be an improvement"
any and all euphoria as a distinct feeling was absolutely something i couldn't plan for emotionally
i mean i like being on estradiol, so the comparison still may not land; but i experience it very much as more of the same thing: a holistic enhancement to my complete experience of existing in my body that makes every embodied sensation more complete and more real, because one more thing is in better alignment
it doesn't need to... do anything... for that effect to be constant
like i legit feel like i pass better through the enhanced bodily confidence etc
relativity of emotion is a thing, i couldn't say how this is qualitatively distinct from removing 30y of dysphoria, but it does register experientially as an "active" feeling rather than an absence of one
@whitequark while probably not knowing it quite so well, there's some familiarity in that
going in, a common theme of the discussion was "i don't care if this 'works' or not it will be an improvement"
any and all euphoria as a distinct feeling was absolutely something i couldn't plan for emotionally