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✧✦✶✷Catherine✷✶✦✧'s posts Post Back to profile
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Alex Celeste

@whitequark i don't usually post about this side of things but if it helps to have another anecdote, im absolutely delighted with what i got out of it and it does continue to make me happy that i was able to get this done

(i mean im extremely ace and also generally quite chaste by Fedi standards so this isn't something id have cause to discuss much

it's also extremely inaccessible in this country so ... yknow can't post too much about something i got extremely lucky to be in a position to be able to afford, all that does is amplify the hurt for people in no.2)

but like the aspect of joy you describe above - content with your body, enough to talk about it, to which id add other aspects of "content to...." - that's real, i don't know if it helps to know that but it is; i get that, and im privileged to know a couple of others irl who feel that way too

(this part seems heavily dependent on the random chance of who your social group are)

19 April at 10:27 | Wall-to-wall | Open on tech.lgbt
5 comments
✧✦✶✷Catherine✷✶✦✧

@erisceleste i'm grey-ace and the primary reason i'm interested in sex in a visceral way is _because_ of how it makes (or rather, not makes, in practice) me feel about my body, so like it's not like i don't relate to that

it's in a somewhat more complex way but not completely unlike

19 April at 15:41 | Open on mastodon.social
✧✦✶✷Catherine✷✶✦✧

@erisceleste it's possible i'd feel more ace after (and happier about it) and it's entirely possible i'd feel less ace after, i'm honestly fairly fine with either, what i'm not fine with is the existing state

19 April at 16:12 | Open on mastodon.social
Alex Celeste

@whitequark while probably not knowing it quite so well, there's some familiarity in that
going in, a common theme of the discussion was "i don't care if this 'works' or not it will be an improvement"

any and all euphoria as a distinct feeling was absolutely something i couldn't plan for emotionally

i mean i like being on estradiol, so the comparison still may not land; but i experience it very much as more of the same thing: a holistic enhancement to my complete experience of existing in my body that makes every embodied sensation more complete and more real, because one more thing is in better alignment
it doesn't need to... do anything... for that effect to be constant

like i legit feel like i pass better through the enhanced bodily confidence etc

relativity of emotion is a thing, i couldn't say how this is qualitatively distinct from removing 30y of dysphoria, but it does register experientially as an "active" feeling rather than an absence of one

@whitequark while probably not knowing it quite so well, there's some familiarity in that
going in, a common theme of the discussion was "i don't care if this 'works' or not it will be an improvement"

any and all euphoria as a distinct feeling was absolutely something i couldn't plan for emotionally

19 April at 16:25 | Open on tech.lgbt
✧✦✶✷Catherine✷✶✦✧

@erisceleste i was _absolutely_ joyful about orchi. i don't have gonads in the body map, never did, literally my first or second memory ever is about that, so finally having a body that matched it, even with the botched surgery, was really good

so i have some point of reference here

19 April at 16:27 | Open on mastodon.social
✧✦✶✷Catherine✷✶✦✧

@erisceleste also i should probably point out that the only grs option i'm considering is the nonbinary one, because anything else clearly registers as severe self-harm. i know what's in the body map and the body got to match that

of course if i limit my questions to just the like 1 person i know of who got that i would learn nothing

19 April at 16:28 | Open on mastodon.social
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