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27 posts total
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Judy Anderson

@Chrishallbeck I'm reading the MurderBot books by Martha Wells. I think MurderBot would agree.

@infosec_jcp πŸ†“πŸ¦πŸˆπŸƒ done differently

@Chrishallbeck

Damn it Chris.

I bet you do this on purpose don't you? πŸ˜…

That's okay. I know. I hear yah. πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ

Coyoty

@Chrishallbeck The Tin Man of Oz had a heart before, so he knew what he was missing.

Chris Hallbeck

I’ve been saying β€œsemantic satiation” over and over to the point where it’s just lost all meaning to me.

Log πŸͺ΅

@Chrishallbeck At the self-checkout, every produce item is 4011. The stores don't even train their employee clerks on produce identification. How can I, an untrained layperson, be expected to know what it is that I am buying--even though I put it on my list and carefully picked it out?

NoctisEqui πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή

@Chrishallbeck

I never use self-check-out’ for exactly this reason. Why should I pay to be a cashier? I felt the same way when the’Bag & Save’ opened decades ago in my old neighborhood. We called it β€˜Bag & Slave’.

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Michael Porter

@Chrishallbeck Adding these to the list if I ever discover I have god-like powers.

Coyoty

@Chrishallbeck I've been cursed to bite my tongue. Crunchy bites, that bleed. And sneezing. I'm constantly sneezing. It's always two quick sneezes, then a third. I don't know what I did or who I did it to, but I'm sorry. Unless it was something totally worth it.

Connor Cadellin

@Chrishallbeck "every time you come within 100ft of a doorbell, it rings"

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Coyoty

@Chrishallbeck
"Wait... Are you male or female?"
"I... I don't know!"
"I don't know what I am, either!!!"
"But we had a child together!"
"HOW?!"
"Well, when a man and..."
"I know THAT."

-0--1-

@Chrishallbeck "The people will not revolt. They will not look up from their screens long enough to notice what is happening" is often attributed to George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984. However, this quote is not actually in the novel. The earliest known instance of this quote is from a 2014 stage adaptation of 1984 by Robert Icke.

Chris Hallbeck

Don’t toss batteries when they are almost dead. Put them in kids toys at someone else’s house.

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πŸͺ¨

@Chrishallbeck@mastodon.social It's the right time of the year for this kind of prank

Lorraine Fish

@Chrishallbeck 🀣🀣🀣
Thank you for the suggestion!
I'll be on my way in the morning to revive my grandkids' toys!

akiran_n

@Chrishallbeck I love it, but in my circustance, I'm the one with a baby πŸ˜…

Chris Hallbeck

Apparently β€œRock’em Sock’em Robots” is about punching? I knitted these tiny robot socks for nothing.

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dave πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’»πŸ˜·:any:​

@Chrishallbeck Oh come on, this is terrible parenting. If that kid doesn't ring the bell the algorithm won't surface the next story anyway.

Children should learn about contorting their behavior in hopes of satisfying an unknowable algorithm at home, not on the streets.

John Cutting

@Chrishallbeck
Funny. I was talking to my partner earlier today about what to do for names if we have twins. I suggested the names Hattori and Hanzo but she countered with Like and Subscribe.

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Sean

@Chrishallbeck

Woah woah I didn't come here to be personally attacked

rainey 🌻

@Chrishallbeck

This has been me lately and it's not even funny.

Adrian Morales

@Chrishallbeck Stay off X !! It's cursed, you know !! πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Chris Hallbeck

My son: β€œDad, I can’t sleep. When I close my eyes I see the Michelin man.”

Me: β€œWhat’s so bad about the…”
*closes eyes*
β€œOH NO”

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parv

@Chrishallbeck What the hell did people do to their eyes?

<image of flying eyes with a person (myself) cowering, a la Alfred H's /The Birds/ poster>

100% that creature

@Chrishallbeck like something straight out of Little Nightmares

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