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siege

:drake_dislike: cutting it off

:drake_like: promotion within the company to an internal position

9 May 2023 at 17:07 | Open on octodon.social
19 comments
siege

like youve put in so much hard work girl, why have we got you out here in the yard, this isnt the right fit, youre too pretty to be out, lets get you inside where its warm and comfy.

9 May 2023 at 17:08 | Open on octodon.social
siege

but real truths, i had a decently large penis (oh my, oh my, my humbleness), which meant i never felt bad about it as i saw it as inherent value through the eyes of my partners.

But when transitioning with HRT changed how it functioned, it took away that inherent value, and forced me to consider what value *i* saw in it.

Thats why i now have a cunt (decently large).

9 May 2023 at 17:30 | Open on octodon.social
terra tauri (she/her)

@siege the (decently large) at the end of this made me giggle 🤭

9 May 2023 at 17:32 | Open on tech.lgbt
ChloChlo

@siege I had a similar experience. I still have my penis. It's average, but cute. Nothing to be ashamed of, for sure. And it's always done what I needed it to.

Starting transition, I thought I was happy with it. I wouldn't bother with surgery.

But about 6 months into transition, I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful woman...with something that didn't belong between her legs.

Not to discredit women who keep theirs of course. But for me, it doesn't belong. It's not who I am. And it's not who I want to be.

Once I acknowledged that, I started to realize the other sensations I have in that area that are unique to my experience - phantom vagina. I'm wired to have a vagina. And I won't feel whole until I do.

And it's about me. Not anyone else. I need this for me, and my happiness. And that can be a tough thing to come to terms with.

@siege I had a similar experience. I still have my penis. It's average, but cute. Nothing to be ashamed of, for sure. And it's always done what I needed it to.

Starting transition, I thought I was happy with it. I wouldn't bother with surgery.

But about 6 months into transition, I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful woman...with something that didn't belong between her legs.

9 May 2023 at 17:35 | Open on tech.lgbt
siege

@CordiallyChloe gotta put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.

9 May 2023 at 17:36 | Open on octodon.social
ChloChlo

@siege absolutely!

I also realized with transition, and coming out, and living full time as a woman...there was a huge weight on my shoulders that's just always been there. And each of those steps has lifted something off me. It's like I can physically feel my body becoming lighter.

And I can only imagine this step will do the same for me. I won't have to look down and make sure it's not noticeable. I won't have to think about the bathroom situation. I won't have to worry about what a new potential partner might think, or how I should interact with myself.

I want to feel that lightness in my existence every day. I just want to feel complete.

@siege absolutely!

I also realized with transition, and coming out, and living full time as a woman...there was a huge weight on my shoulders that's just always been there. And each of those steps has lifted something off me. It's like I can physically feel my body becoming lighter.

And I can only imagine this step will do the same for me. I won't have to look down and make sure it's not noticeable. I won't have to think about the bathroom situation. I won't have to worry about what a new potential...

9 May 2023 at 17:38 | Open on tech.lgbt
siege

@CordiallyChloe absolutely, marie kondo that girl.

9 May 2023 at 17:39 | Open on octodon.social
ChloChlo

@siege 😆😆

9 May 2023 at 17:42 | Open on tech.lgbt
April Ryebread

@siege Mine was only going to be good for use as donation material.

9 May 2023 at 17:39 | Open on cultofshiv.wtf
DELETED

@siege I had a similar experience. I was more endowed than many, and the few straight passing relationships I had before I came out, I was told that was attractive and desirable. But I didn’t feel it. I went into transition feeling like I wouldn’t need to have surgery, because I didn’t *hate* it, but I also didn’t love it. 

The more intimate I was with queer partners, the more I realized there was a lot of dysphoria there that I had been masking because others valued it. So I had bottom surgery last July, and it’s been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I’m no longer ashamed of my body, and intimacy feels better, both in a physical “these sensations are way more intense and way more fun” way and in a metaphysical “this feels right” way. 

I have a shallow depth, about 3”, which is more than enough for my uses, and it meant healing was much less complex because just the shaft had to be used to build it. Instead of using the material to get the biggest possible depth, it instead got used to make pretty labia minora. 

There hasn’t been a day I’ve woken up this past year where I wasn’t grateful I could have this. Sometimes we just don’t know until we know, you know?

@siege I had a similar experience. I was more endowed than many, and the few straight passing relationships I had before I came out, I was told that was attractive and desirable. But I didn’t feel it. I went into transition feeling like I wouldn’t need to have surgery, because I didn’t *hate* it, but I also didn’t love it. 

The more intimate I was with queer partners, the more I realized there was a lot of dysphoria there that I had been masking because others valued it. So I had bottom surgery...

9 May 2023 at 17:58 | Open on cutie.city
Rhubi

@siege omfg this was *exactly* what I needed to hear, thank you 🙏🙏 (lolz humblebrag)

9 May 2023 at 18:14 | Open on strangeobject.space
Tess

@siege I dunno about the size, but yeah, basically same feelings about it since it seemed to do the necessary job (when I was either running high on NRE or could pull myself together to perform the expected role)

But I knew what I always wanted, and once I realized I could, I did, and while I’m still only 2.5 months into recovery (though no real issues like others I’ve known, knock on wood), it’s been the best move I’ve made so far.

9 May 2023 at 18:19 | Open on chaosfem.tw
April "Snowboard Trick" Kirby

@siege It was kind of jarring to take inventory on this topic and realize the whole pro list amounted to "Seems to do its job" and "Would probably be better if I could just relax"

9 May 2023 at 20:26 | Open on chaosfem.tw
siege

@aprilkirby yep, between having a penis and having a strap was Iike night and day. it was Iike oh, oh i can actuaIIy enjoy this.

9 May 2023 at 20:31 | Open on octodon.social
Joscelyn Transpiring

@siege @aprilkirby That's a mood! The first time I tried using a strap-on, especially one that doesn't look like a penis, I enjoyed it so much more. I've realized in time that once I have bottom surgery, the idea of using one of the "strapless" ones is something I crave experiencing so much.

Some day...a girl can dream...

9 May 2023 at 20:35 | Open on chaosfem.tw
Tess

@JoscelynTransient @siege @aprilkirby saaaaaame

(We already have one on hand to try… once I can in a couple weeks :akko_blushmmpf:)

9 May 2023 at 23:53 | Open on chaosfem.tw
solient
Joscelyn Transpiring

@siege The more the function has changed, the more connection and "in" my sex I feel. It's kind of magical, isn't it?

My decision was a really hard one since I didn't have distressing bottom dysphoria and I was trying to figure out if the risks were worth it for me when it became financially accessible. Paying attention to what my body told me, I realized that it thinks it should all be aligned and structured differently...and euphoria is calling me forward again

9 May 2023 at 20:37 | Open on chaosfem.tw
Jocelynephiliac :reclaimer:

@siege extremely relatable

10 May 2023 at 3:59 | Open on twipped.social
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