satan is not a fucking pogo stick/the orangutan | Another Angry Woman

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Another Angry Woman

satan is not a fucking pogo stick/the orangutan

Like 23 Nov 2022 at 11:15 | Open on masto.ai

830 comments

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

assigned cop at birth

23 Nov 2022 at 11:15 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

kat goes to the 7/11

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe as a contortionist

it is for context after midnight in july during a wildfire

and/or is really fucking high and isn't sure if he's tripping balls

« Shorty ater she arveq back at the apariment, she got a textcn her ‘phone from the campus secury about “A Suspicious Indhiduar attle 7- "

+ Htookner

« FOUR

« FUCKING

« veaRs

+ torealze she was the suspicious indvidual

23 Nov 2022 at 11:51 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

a smug, insufferable little clown baby

- ! # - = 2 .:ay -~ [ i Iz - 4 e Ly - & % i N vastderp Deactivated

Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci's best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci. There is much controversy in the art worid over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they're perfectly clear. It blows my mind a little bit to look at these two sisters side-by-side and imagine how much vivid detail could be hiding in the Mona Lisa under 500 years of rotten varnish.

! theatre-whovian THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS ! lalaland1212 ‘Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself s “SHES GOT EYEBROWS". Alright. All ntelligent lfe has been lost.

o vastderp Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa's vanished eyebrows have been the Sublect of debate and analyss i the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squitted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable litte clown baby together.

23 Nov 2022 at 11:52 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

5p bags

did you get your 5p bags
lib dem flag yes

23 Nov 2022 at 11:57 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

gandalf big naturals

notallmensheviks turns out the creator of gandalf big naturals made the images while recovering from anesthesia for top_ surgery. this implies that the big naturals in question are, in fact, the artist's, and somehow migrated onto gandalf. this has major consequences. g idislikethissite Linked tweet: O e § o ehoss g i e e 1 ot know you were the i of this g heword 31 g th concotof Gonoalt s nappy wih e o oscha sveyonsha o8 o beceat @ ; i e | | el 2 Lol yes!! | thought of him while | was recovering from top surgery | like to think it was the parting gift o from my boobs \ B 547PM - Nov e, 2022 Tt forPhe = 18 Ratwe 390 Lk E estelinhabb (Y LU LS L VTR D P T #you wake up from surgery and you're like where's gandalf? #and the doctor is like who do you think took your big naturals » @kh3finalmix oh beautiful

24 Nov 2022 at 10:52 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

hands

2% megapope but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol @ CBS News &

>BSNews "Consent condom" requires four hands to open, making powerful statement about consent chsn.ws/ 2GbiSZ3

4 s ‘, i P\

N 2:48 AM - 10 Apr 19 - trueAn P roobaxion how many hands you got

o !Ivmiﬂxim =) (g D » e IR

g koobaxion - » itruly can't make this any clearer & megapope will smith isn't gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

P roobaxion | =~ . 1 ¢ - =ram ) ” | “ Q i ¥ s BN 4 4 & don't know what you're on about. will smith and slightly wider biue will smith have been married for years. they're a hollywood love story R reomster 1 can't believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

24 Nov 2022 at 12:17 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

short cows

. grinderman2

*gets on tiptoes to whisper into dairy cow's ear* why ya titty out

% frozenfoxtails

How short are you that you need to stand on your toes to talk to a cow?

5 grinderman2

Looks like we got ourselves a city slicker

% rebellious-hufflepuff-love

How freaking talk are your cows? My cousins own a dairy farm and the cows are about chest height.

5 grinderman2

You sure talk a lot of shit for someone whose cousin has short cows

24 Nov 2022 at 12:19 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

cricket

Picture of cricket pitch and its weird positions

@ elodieunderglass

if people haven't been exposed to cricket before, here is the experience. The person who likes cricket turns on a radio with an air of happy

expectation. “We'l just catch up with the cricket,” they say.

An elderly British man with an accent - you can picture exactly what he looks like and what he is wearing, somehow, and you know that he will explain the important concept of Yorkshire to you at length if you make eye contact - is saying “And w’ four snickets t wicket, Umbleby dives under the covers and romps home for a sticky bicket.”

There is a deep and satisfied silence. Weather happens over the radio. This lasts for three minutes

Agentle young gentleman with an Indian accent, whose perfect and beautul clear voice makes him sound ke a poet sipping from a cup of honeyed drink always, says mildly “Of course we cannot forget that when Pakistan last had the biscuit under the covers, they were thrown out of bed. In 1957, | believe.” You mouth “what the fucking fuck”

Amorally ambiguous villain from a superhero movie says oft-microphone, “Crumbs everywhere.”

Apparently continuing a previous conversation, the villain asks, “Do seagulls eattacos?”

“I'm sure someone will tell us eventually.” the poet says. His voice is so beautiul that it should be familiar: he should be the only announcer on the radio, the only reader of audiobooks

The villain says with sudden interest, “Oh, a leg over straight and under the covers, Peterson and Singh are rumping along with a straight fine leg and good pumping action. Thanks to his powerful thighs, Peterson is an excellent legspinner. apart from being rude on Twitter "

The man from Yorkshire roars potently, lie a bull seeing another bull. There might be words in his roar, but otherwise it is primal and sizzling

“That isn't straight,” the poet says. “It's silly.”

“What the fucking fuck.” you say out loud at this point

“Shh.” says the person who likes cricket. They listen, tensely. Something in the distance makes a very small “thwack " lie a baby dropping an egg

“Was that a doosra or a googly?” the villain asks

“IT'S AWRONG "UN." roars the Yorkshireman in his wrath. A powerful insult has been offered. They begin to scuffle

“With that double doozy, Crumpet is baffled for three turns, Agarwal is deep in the biscuit tin and Padgett has gone to the shops undercover.” the poet says quickly, to cover the action while his companions are busy. The villain is being throttled. in a friendly companionable way.

An intern apparently brings a message scrawled on a scrap of paper like a courier sprinting across a battlefield. “Reddy has rolled a nat 20." the poet says with barely contained excitement. “Australia is both a continent and an island. But we're running out of time!”

“Is that true?” You ask suddenly.

“Shh!” Says the person who likes cricket. “It's a test match.”

The villain, apparently alive, describes the best hat in the audience as “like a funnel made of dove-colored net, but backwards, with fiies trapped in it” This is every bit as good as that time in Australia in 1975, they all agree, drinking their tea and eating home-made cakes sent in by the fans. The poet comments favorably on the icing and sugar-preserved violets. The Yorkshire man discourses on the nature of sponge. The villain clatters his cup too hard on his saucer. To cover his embarrassment, the poet begins scrolling through Twitter on his phone, reading aloud the best memes in his enchanting milky voice. Then, with joy, he reads an @ from an ornithologist at the University of Reading: seagulls do eat tacos! A reference is cited; the poet reads it aloud Everyone cheers.

You are honestly - against your will - kind of into it! but also: weirdly enraged. “Was that __. it?" you ask, deeming it safe to interrupt

“No." says the person who likes cricket, “This is second tea break on the first day. We won't know where we really are unti lunch tomorrow.”

And - because you cannot stop them - you have to accept this; if cricket teaches you anything, it is this gentle and radical acceptance

24 Nov 2022 at 12:24 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

r2d2 sounds

B o

‘Soce Iy decidad o make .ty R202for my b s spat e moring g way les of h dferen cunds e makes bt o rigal e tames iewwokd gt conusng

6 02wy W 2P WavFie 6 R02aae 261240 W Fle 6 Rz Wavas 25 WavFie 6 R02ce WRaDe 125PM WYl 6 renzevay WRvaDs 28I WY Fle @ 2wt WM WavFie © edwznar W26 12 W e 6 2wt W2V 23 WavFie 6 2wty RS 12PM WY 6 aadwste 2aDe 1200 WY Fle 50 here | am siting here psychoanalyzing and personifying as many of them 51 canbacauschay yoah h's beeing and chping bt what s o g

B corvus

contented happy whistle.wav 11721, | uh uh this is some shifty business beeping.wav 11721, [&] hey man I'm just tellin you what i know beepingwav ~ 11/21, &) short chips that indicate thinking.wav 11721, |&] danger will robinson screech.wav 1721, hey idiots over here whistle.wav 11721, [&] i have a bad feeling about this whistle and beepwav ~ 11/21, say that to my face again you gold chrome bastard.... 11/21, €] fuk uwav 1721, ‘much better

24 Nov 2022 at 12:26 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

class war

stnningpicture $180,000 Aston Martin killed by $200 pink car fp marbororedgirl aesthetic Hg autonomous-geordie Class war. [ prousis #stuart semple attacking anish kapoor

24 Nov 2022 at 12:28 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

i am support

When your friend is sad and you're trying go comfort then but don't know how

24 Nov 2022 at 23:23 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

goddammit, mr noodle

£ undercovertacobell Follow

So there's only one channel in this motel, This morning while | was getting ready | was watching Sesame Street.

They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and EImo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh. Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, | heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “"GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE

“ robbidybobbin Follow

LITERALLY MY FAVORITE STORY ON ALL OF TUMBLR.

25 Nov 2022 at 10:06 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

twitter alternative

P xttletale

the idea of using tumblr as a twitter alternative is incomprehensible. it's like i your local walmart closed down and you started doing all your grocery shopping at the cursed antique store from needful things

9B, roach-works

#hanging up the Welcome Home Cheater sign over the cursed antique store for all my friends sheepishly returning

#you thought you were too good for cursed antique store huh? well since you've been gone i've fucked every spider here

25 Nov 2022 at 10:21 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

journal

@ ratphcanwreckme Deciivated I'm nearly crying because | had this awesome password journal as a kid but it was a bitch to open because you had to say the password the same way avery ine s0 after a while | gave up on it and never tried to open it again but today | was cleaning my room and found it A= H 1 1 = = ~—— ~ 5 ‘ ’ ; ‘Lg s0 | decided to open it, thinking that it contained old journal entries or drawings from when | was a kid but | don't know the password anymore and it didn't even have any batteries so | thought maybe unscrewing the back would open it m | | v v ‘ 5 & ¢

ha haha nope now | have to deal with all these wires and gears and shit and end up unscrewing more things and breaking some stuff too o oy > e - ;j -

finally | getin and its fucking empty i - but | notice the little compartment thingy and open it

and | can't stop laughing because | worked so hard to get into the thing and past me is just like “now fuck off"

25 Nov 2022 at 11:54 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

real life creepypasta

picture of long ziti

real life creepypasta

25 Nov 2022 at 11:57 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

this post has everything

B oence 2 R verything cutthroagkiieher. . bdsm geat., ics8 art theft. 30 s it Son canpd Whea blovos e o B e

25 Nov 2022 at 12:00 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

times new bastard

& ommanyte Im going to make a new font called Times New Bastard €8 ommanyte Its Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif ! bougquetoftwelve It's Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif E val-itz With one line you activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode

25 Nov 2022 at 12:01 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

making this screenshot mastodon-exclusive content because it sums up my experience of you lot so far

“rick astley voice® we're no strangers to cum

25 Nov 2022 at 22:03 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

barbie really squirts

Lucille bluth: good for her

26 Nov 2022 at 12:47 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

improving conservative memes

Conservative memes replaced with trans flags

26 Nov 2022 at 12:49 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

2007 wrapped

Limewire but Spotify wrapped

26 Nov 2022 at 13:14 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

tell me why

Venn diagram, philosophy profrssors, backstreet boys, four year old, centre is tell me why

26 Nov 2022 at 13:32 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all

Honestly "I'll do whatever you want then perish is the single most powerful exchange possible in the

26 Nov 2022 at 13:54 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

green knight

You strike green Knight? You cut his head off like the football? Oh! Oh! Beheading for gawain one year hence

26 Nov 2022 at 13:58 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

post cancelled

so i was thinking about [notification: from your past self you hace got to be more normal) post cancelled i got this notification as i was typing this and i think it’s trying to tell me something

27 Nov 2022 at 11:08 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

elf pussy

-Elf pussy is probably wack as fuck
-you know absolutely nothing
-Go eat a mystic leaf or sip some dew or something
-even a crumb of elf pussy is enough to sustain one for a full week

27 Nov 2022 at 11:12 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

tumblr user gandalfsbignaturals

Screenshot of tumblr user gandalfsbignaturals complaining about a photo of boobs on the world trade centre, then called out for hypocrisy

27 Nov 2022 at 12:24 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

straw man

Photo of man in matrix outfit with straws in his mouth "is this the straw man you guys are always arguing with"

27 Nov 2022 at 12:27 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

mary magdalene

The virgin Mary implies the existence of the Chad Mary. Many replies follow saying "Mary magdalene"

27 Nov 2022 at 12:30 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

baba yaga

X is a sandwich arguments: stale, low impact, overdone. Baba yaga's House is a gundam

27 Nov 2022 at 13:47 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the matrix (1999)

There's no time to explain get in the bisexuality polecule
-the matrix 1999

27 Nov 2022 at 15:05 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

furby island's ultimate survivor

Screenshot of old hasbro website with all images broken except one captioned "furry Island ultimate survivor"

27 Nov 2022 at 20:46 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

a theological discussion

AO3 screenshot bottom!jesus, top!judas, §
anthonycrowley: 'sometimes i'm like ‘fanfiction can’t shock me anymore i'm numb to it then i find this shit

anthonycrowley !

davidtennantlesbian Absolutely outrageous we all know judas was a pillow princess ‘every moment of a cumulative thirteen years of catholic education is simultaneously screaming out in agony at this reply g rustbaby Tbh the only way an average-looking guy could get 12 hot guys to follow him around and hang off his every word is if he's the only top.

28 Nov 2022 at 15:42 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

dost thou even hoist

do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

do you quarrel sir?

quarrel sir? no sir

28 Nov 2022 at 15:44 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

behold a centaur

pwapboi: centaurs have sixl imbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

’g wallerawler-exmachina Oh. This. | don't like this. 5 wickedwitchshaming. #not enough distinct body parts#insects have three#arachnids on the other hand have two#therefore i propose that centaurs are actually spiders hiding a pair of legs somewhere this is worse: jade how did you manage to make this worse

necromatador:

But centaurs DO have 3 body parts. Insects have head, thorax, and abdomen. Centaurs have a head, a human “thorax’, and a horse “abdomen’” Instead | propose that insects are arthropod centaurs.

B asitamiras Descivass

“BEHOLD A CENTAUR"

- Diogenes throwing a fucking ant on the ground

y presbel

this is why we stopped inviting diogenes to these things

28 Nov 2022 at 15:46 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

post punk

[photo of a postman with a mohawk] post punk

1 28 Nov 2022 at 15:47 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise

@ trediocity

tattletales are lawful evil

By, redlocity

Yes, Kevin, | brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.

28 Nov 2022 at 15:49 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

sleepytime tea

Screenshot of r/Vermiculture . Posted by u/grape_boycott Can I compost sleepytime tea? Or will the worms get too sleepy? many are asking this !
6qubed: it's a valid question

28 Nov 2022 at 16:02 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

prophecy

" badjokesbyjeffL Follow Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship “It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications. '

positivelycarey Follow Jeff this is not a bad joke E joyflameball Follow Jeff this is not a joke it's a prophecy badjokesbyjeff
1am convinced the only reason people work for SpaceX is to make this prophecy a reality '

28 Nov 2022 at 16:14 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

donkey from shrek

the fact that donkey from shrek has forward facing eyes implies he's a predator

28 Nov 2022 at 19:14 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

donald duck

curioscurio Ok I'm gonna try and sculpt Donald Duck without looking at it and bake and paint the result

curioscurio I've decided I'm also going to bake and paint it without looking at him ﬂ curioscurio Here is what | think he will look like based on how he felt in my hands
bad picture of Donald Duck

Terrifying clay monstrosity

29 Nov 2022 at 11:15 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

scam caller

Bg coastward

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

g coastward

soam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

soam caller: good. I'm calling because your IP address has been compromised. Il just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I'm wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn't think of a better lie?

soam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

soam caller:

me: | was just wondering, is all

‘scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

‘scam caller: if you knew this wasn't a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

‘me: oh, | just though | would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

‘me: well, you're currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

‘me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You're not accomplishing that. I'd call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can | scam you?

me:

‘me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can | scam you?

‘me, baffled: sure, you can try

‘scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that's stil a problem. I'm eating tater tots right now and | really don't feel like getting up.

‘scam caller: okay. | will call you tomorrow morning, then.

‘me: | might not answer. My grandma definitely won't

‘scam caller: You answered today.

me: __touché?

‘scam caller: | will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

% nekoitsu

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

29 Nov 2022 at 11:17 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

british lads

by far the best "meme" is british lads overreacting to something normal

soscorchesy

Loool never let me drink and have a broom

(photo of man with broom)

Screenshot: Corey . So | told Dean to lay down on the floor.. he actually did it the absolute madman hahahahahahaha! [photo of man lying on floor]

DEAN YOU ABSOLUTE MADMAN, YOU ABSOLUTE LEDGE, YOURE SUCH ALEGEND YOURE PRACTICALLY A FOOT

29 Nov 2022 at 11:21 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

perverted deviance of modern society

argumate:

Our descendants wil find our songs about butts and preference for thick ones ridiculously quaint, much like the Victorians going apeshit over visible ankies. BB argumate

#g0d knows what they wil be into #livers maybe

g alkthash

Our constant exposure to pornography and easy smut will numb us to nudiy. Eventually the hot new fetish will be gastro shows, where live holographic display of the performers internal organs.

BB argumate

did you just invent vore

When | was a litle kid being allowed to look things up on the internet for the. first time, my mom gave me a Talk on Internet Safety. There were Things On The Internet, she explained. Inappropriate Things. Things | Was Too Young To See.

Little me fel that | was a Girl Of The World. | had Seen Things, | pointed out We had gone to the art museum; we had visited the part with the ancient Greek and Roman statues. | had seen (sotto voce) naked people. Not just in skimpy clothing, or underwear, or even fig leaf, but entirely naked! There was nothing left for me to see!

My (poor, patient) mother sighed. No, she explained, there were Other Things. Things | Had Not Seen. Things Of Which | Did Not Know. They were on the internet, and | was to avoid them

It was clear that this was the Parental Final World. But Small Me was left terribly, terribly curious. I'd thought I'd understood how things worked - a picture of a person in regular clothes was modest; a picture of a person in a litle less than that, like Marilyn Monroe with her skirt being blown up, was a litle bit racy; a picture of a person in underwear was pretty much a sex thing; and a picture of a totally naked person was (if it wasn't art or anatomy) pornography.

So how could there be something more so than a totally naked person? What could this wrong forbidden inappropriate unnatural thing be?

The sequence so far had made sense! Less clothes, more inappropriate! And eventually you got down to nothing at all at which point you'd seen everything there was to see and nothing was left private anymore and married people could engage in baby-producing activities!

So I mulled this over for a long time. And finally, | came to a conclusion: Clearly, the next step in the sequence had to be taking off your skin.

This was extremely explanatory! No wonder this Secret Thing was so wrong — you had to skin someone alive to produce it! No wonder they didn't want kids seeing it - how traumatic! This really was a Perverted Deviance Of Modern Society!

‘Small Me proceeded to make the obvious series of extrapolations from this. There would be videos of people slowly and sexily removing their own skin, or other people’s skin, of course. There'd be images arranged to fook like. ‘someone was removing their skin when they really weren't. Some truly disturbed perverts would be watching videos where the muscle was stripped off. to show organs and bones. And no wonder sex slavery and prostitution were so horrifying, if women were being forced into that.

(Yes. Yes, | was familiar with the concept of prostitution but couldn't figure out the concept of porn. What can | say: | had a classical education. Turns out one of those comes up in Great Literature a lot more often than the other )

In any case, Small Me continued to operate under this assumption for quite some time. happy in its explanatory power, and feeling Terribly World-Wise And Jaded. (And occasionally feeling vaguely guity that clearly | was ot nearly so innocent as my mother thought)

Finding out what pornography actually involved was kind of anticlimactic, really.

29 Nov 2022 at 11:24 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

buttbuttinations

Honestly, the whole Tumblr flagging debacle reminds me of nothing so much as the official White Wolf forums back in the 1990s, whose automatic profanty fiters were so overzealous that they ended up censoring terminology from Some of their own games.

(For the uninitiated, the starkest example was probably the fiter that automatically converted “ass” to “butt’, including when the string A-S-S appeared as part of another word. The trouble is that White Wolfs most popular game, Vampire: The Masquerade, included in ts lore a prominent vampire clan called the Assamites, who stock-in-trade was assassination Under the forum’s profanity fier, players were reduced to referring to them as the Buttamites, and their missions as — you guessed it - buttbuttinations.)

29 Nov 2022 at 11:27 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

people being mean to me

Political compass meme format. People being mean to me is:
Authoritarian/left - a CIA op
Libertarian left - gaslighting
Libertarian right - orwellian
Authoritarian right - cancel culture
Centre - uncivil

29 Nov 2022 at 17:11 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

best sluntations

sisterofiris

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you're seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, | am sick and not sure if Pl be alive to come tomorrow and I'm sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

6 yay855

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I'd probably believe they were sick

A rox-and-prose Follow

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

- hydro-punk

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because | have a heache. | Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

e xakumi Follow

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN B

E themodernsouthernpolytheist Follow

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

30 Nov 2022 at 10:34 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

ok

I took a stupid photo, and it has become the default photo my family now sends each other instead of ‘ok’.
[photo of a thumb up in front of a microwave which says "cool" on the display

30 Nov 2022 at 10:44 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

what do your elf eyes see?

cotoneimagpie

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks Evidence:

(photo of book) Q25.12 InJ. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings (volume 2, p-32), Legolas the Elf claims to be able to accurately count horsemen and discern their hair color (yel- low) 5 leagues away on a bright, sunny day. Make appropriate estimates and argue that Legolas must have very strange-looking eyes, have some means of nonvisual perception, or have made a lucky guess. (1 league ~ 3.0 mi.)

colonelmagpie:

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawail Legolas on physics assignment

/And they told you science was no fun.

Drawing of kawaii Legolas with big eyes saying "they're taking the hobbits to Isengard"

glumshoe Legolas's pupil size isn'tthe problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can't see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in orderto see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tal in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn' impossible. But consider. Elven satellite eyeballs

[drawing of Legolas with eyestalks

sidereanuncia

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what its worth, there’s absolutely o reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth s the same s that of Earth.

sindri2

There's no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

solwardenclyffe

Yeah there is. The Silmarilion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (1 believe), preventing access to Valinor. But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

sindri2

So watt, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the abilty to ignore the curve of the earth? That's awesome. t also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want eff eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarly far while everybody else is limited by

this orizon’ bulshit

30 Nov 2022 at 12:09 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

the delivery boys

I'm about o have a fun aftemoon

So my trainer's bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He's holding her stuff hostage unti she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial atists, a body builder, and... wait for i.... a Navy seal. We're gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely Rignht. Thats what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I'm very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arival

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. OK the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist s a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I'd say 750-800Ibs), the wrestier looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him s unsetting. Really unsetting. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then stams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally. me and the seal join the fray. | casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just tumed and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of refatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like ‘FINE. Go take what you're looking for.”

Retrieval

So we're all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn't even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up funiture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn't enough, | guess they were letting him know they could break him f they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there's me. Who was causing general mischief.... He said to take what | was looking for, that's what | was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestier made a fricken sandwich Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I'm a sucker for egg salad” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirf's spot. She was. conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don't. She sent us all an email once and didn't blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?" Nothing. We're not messenger boys. We're delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of Stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wifis all that shit” So | explained that | took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that | could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the tolet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. S0 you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So. .. Chipotie?” And we all got burrito bows.

What a great day.

30 Nov 2022 at 12:16 | Open on masto.ai

Another Angry Woman replied to Another Angry Woman

ravioli approved

peachispertection

I had a dream that someone started a meme at the bottom of their tumblr posts that was just a banner of harry styles giving a thumbs up with the text “This post is Ravioli Approved.” It got really popular, and eventually Harry got wind of it and went on James Corden and said "this meme is Ravioli Approved." Everyone loved it and it was realy funny, and Harry Styles played along. Until one day he tweeted "Donald Trump is not Ravioli Approved.” And the next day Trump fucking died

suddenly everyone was DMing Harry Styles lice “am I ravioli approved???" And he mosty said yes, but the ones he said no to died. And the next day it would come out that they had been murderers or just terrible people.

They gave Harry Styles his own government Bureau of Ravioli Approval (BORA) and every baby born got an approvalidisapproval rating with their Social security number. Infant mortalty dropped because every baby except the Disapproved ones fived

Eventually he did like a 12-hour live special of him reading the death records of the last 20 years and approving/disapproving of their deaths. There wasn't any earthly repercussions to that but im pretty sure it meant he was sending them to heaven or hell? The dream ended with a looney tunes ending card, except instead of porky pig it was harry in the middle with the message "This Dream Is Ravioli Approved.” And i woke up.

[banner with a picture of Harry Styles and the words this post is ravioli approved]

1 30 Nov 2022 at 12:18 | Open on masto.ai

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