@jeffowski yes, indeed. Hearing two messages at the same time is so frustrating!

@jeffowski Single tear 😢 followed by cool runnings slow clap that builds to momentous applause.

@jeffowski I wish I could boost this more than once all across the world.

@jeffowski
Good to get this in my mind before i become a father. 🤘

@jeffowski FAO progressive movement building. Most people do not secretly yearn to be hazed, have a kink for being treated like shit, or have much willingness to subject their friends and family members to awkward and miserable interactions.

@jeffowski apparently the olofahere Tumblr blog is inactive? It would be nice if you could tell us more about them.

@jeffowski Many don't enjoy being around ones family and it's the families fault. If they want that family member around treat them better.

@jeffowski

Huh, my family and childhood and teenaged friends were more common in their behaviors than I realized.

Years of therapy helped.

@jeffowski Anyone experiencing this should consider whether they are the family scapegoat.

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/family-scapegoat/#:~:text=A%20family%20scapegoat%20is%20a,our%20own%20actions%20and%20mistakes

@jeffowski The story of my childhood

@jeffowski

Strained relationship with a parent. "Hello stranger" as an opening gambit on the phone when I finally CALLED YOU, not the other way round, just added another 3 anxiety filled weeks to the gap between our next communication

Dead now. Missed out on so much by being like this. Your loss not mine. I see my kids every day. You saw them less than their dentist

@jeffowski

I see a lot of this sort of behavior when people are shitty to others who acknowledge they were wrong and someone else was correct.

If you take that opportunity to be shitty be prepared for that being the last time anyone says you were right about anything.

@jeffowski I didn't like drinking water when I was a kid. Who wants water when there's soda around? The only time I even drank milk was sleepovers at my aunt's house and that was what she served with dinner. Up into my 30s probably I could count on one hand the times I willingly drank water. Point is, I didn't always make the healthiest choices. Anyway, whenever I did drink water, my mother and my aunt would say to each other, "she's gonna get poisoned!" Guess what that made me not wanna do? 1

@jeffowski Amen !

@jeffowski
My favorite is when your success is met with the attitude of "oh good, you're not completely useless anymore" because that just kills it. Nevermind, I don't care about whatever it was anymore, I will just go do something that makes ME happy instead. You can start being part of my past now.

@jeffowski This also applies in the world of policy. If somebody from the other side sees the light and joins you, you don't have to announce to the world that you disapprove of WHY they converted. That doesn't mean you have to accept all of their other views, but when you get a W, take it.

@jeffowski My favorite example is people whose dog gets loose, so they call the dog and when it comes they hit it. WTF???

@jeffowski This happened all the time in our house growing up. We make a conscious point of not doing it with our kids.

@jeffowski I've been quite aware of this, and it still ends up being very discouraging when making an effort and really struggling to do so, that there's a lot of, "why can't you do this all the time?" sort of thing.

@jeffowski no matter their mood, it's always true to tell my child "I'm glad you're here." One of the many important lessons I learned from Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting"

That was ten years ago, and reading that book (and a few others) has proven to be one of the best things I've ever done for my kids and myself.

@jeffowski I feel like the people doing this don't even see their snarkiness as punishment or harmful. But it is.

@jeffowski this is really useful. Will try to internalize.

@jeffowski i remember in the final days living with my abusive father it was just a lot of this
i stayed in my room because the internet was my only access to anything that let me escape the real world for a bit
but when i did come out of my room i got the snarky bullshit and yeah it just drove me further back in