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Thinking of starting a new consulting business, called "That's Fucked Up As A Service". I sit there and you explain your legacy system to me, and all I do is say "That's fucked up." If you agree, you get a discount. If you try to justify the brokenness, you have to pay double. 44 comments
 @anaerin Lovely twist on a very real thing. As a recovering American living in Australia, I'm here to tell you the stereotype is painfully real, even if it isn't readily transportable to a business situation. It's fun to go to restaurants in touristy places and hear the bellowing Americans echoing off the back wall. They don't care if they get a table by the kitchen. @jschauma  @anaerin I believe it, because Japan is the strange kind of country where gaijin tarento is a genuine career path for TV pundits. Please please please. I wore out a shirt that said, in big garish letters, Jesus Loves You And then real little underneath: everybody else thinks you're an asshole. Almost got my ass kicked for christ a couple times. In aviation, cultural patterns where "you never tell the boss they are screwing up"...can lead to fatal disasters. https://commons.erau.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1742&context=jaaer  Nah, the difference with ordinary consulting is that, agree or not, with a consultant you always pay double. @axnxcamr @cy @jschauma As someone who has done a fair bit of consulting, usually the job is more one of telling senior management how stupid they're being without needing to worry about getting fired. And getting paid double for it (although in fact they're paying for salary plus overhead, not really just double your salary). I'm totally wondering why I'm getting well-actuallied on a joke I made in reply to a joke made in reply to a joke. This feels undeserved, really. Also, I work in IT. As a consultant... Don't worry, I didn't feel attacked. Since it was clear (to me) the OP wasn't serious, I didn't feel the need to make it obvious that I was joking. It kind of was in the spirit of the thread. Anyways, no hard feelings. @jschauma during my time as a pentester, that's essentially what we did sometimes. The IT people we worked with would make us add harsh language and warnings to reports to make it easier for them to pull through management approvals for killing legacy stuff.  @jonas @jschauma I still fondly remember the meetings where we'd tell the client "look, this is fucked, that is fucked and oh yeah that over there is fucked as well", the client started yelling at some IT guy and that guy just startet pulling out printed e-mails where he essentially told them the same shit and was told to pound sand. Those were a lot of fun. (And a lot more often than one would think, though a lot less often than one would hope.) @Laird_Dave @jschauma the worst instance was, of all places, at a hospital...they started screaming at each other about shit they needed to fix 5y ago and didn't. They took timeouts and breaks to discuss how to go forward ๐ฅด. Weird meeting to have, you tell them one thing and they explode into discussion for an hour.  @jonas @Laird_Dave @jschauma maybe your entire role was telling which side of the stalemate was right, as an independant party with no skin in that game. @tshirtman @Laird_Dave @jschauma it was, but still didn't feel good at first. By the end of the day we had everyone agree on heavy changes. @jschauma wrong business model. you should GIVE them money one way and demand an equal amount the other way. you would skyrocket to a place among the billionnaires and i am close to wanting in on the deal - only i know i would feel the urge to bash in heads around the middle of the third story and my moral compass inhibiting me to do so would give way around customer 6 or 7... @hacktobeer Hahaha perfect, I'm pretty sure a lot of people will be in agreement. Maybe the discount should be capped?  @jschauma I just forwarded someone a link to Bob Newhart's "Stop It" sketch. And now this ๐    @jschauma only double? It's going to take a lot more than double to fix their crap if they fight the fix.   "It looks like the reason you are paying so much tax, is that your profits are too high." " I can help you with that. " :D |
Gregory's Server
@jschauma So the Japanese concept of the "Loud American", then? (Possibly/probably apocryphal)