@skye

Regarding rust, I have to say that: I'm In This Photo and I Don't Like It 😜

@skye tag yourself, lol!

(I like to feel pain and don't care anymore)

@skye
PowerAutomate: "i really need to code some shit, but nobody's giving me the resources, let's just watch the world burn"

@skye bbbbut i like perl? 🥺

@skye thank you for this toot

it fits with the language im learning at school and my state of mind

@skye I don't actually understand it but it's still funny :')

@skye @maltita C++ here. Yep, totally identified.

@skye im masochist.

@skye@toot.cat VBA: i'm sorry that your corporate overlords (aka IT department) doesnt allow anything else

@skye i like to feel pain

@skye

apl: you want to ensure that anyone who touches your keyboard without your permission instantly regrets ⍳∼

@skye

@skye@toot.cat what about assembly or lisp?

@skye COBOL: You are rich. And probably semi-retired.

@skye somebody shud do this for the fp languages

@skye 38 years of C. Introspection time.

@skye Visual Basic for Applications folks must be stopped :vlpn_notice_blep:

@skye I just implemented a shonky FVM simulation in excel, and I feel dirty (In my defence, its for teaching purposes)

@skye
Snobol: now you’re just being obnoxious on purpose

@skye haskell: you wanted to become a mathematician but your parents told you to get a real job, like programming

@skye i love C, and yeah accurate, i'm quite a masochist

@skye VHDL: your project is funded by the government

@skye verilog: your project is funded by an *university*

@skye Any language not on this list: you probably need to go out and touch grass

(This is probably vacuously true for all languages except perhaps Scratch, since many of its users still have non-optional recess as part of their schoolday.)

@skye OCaml: you think code constantly shifting further to the right is pretty actually

@skye LISP: You bought a container full of parentheses in the '80s and have been trying to get rid of them since then.

disohonorable mention to labview: you thought it would somehow be easier to debug a mess of crisscrossing lines on a map many times larger than your screen than commands written in a strict order and you were wrong

@skye FORTRAN: You're old enough to have called your work computer "Big Iron" unironically. Its hard disk was large enough to now serve as a living room table seating 15 people.

@skye python inside excel: you want microsoft to run your code for you on their computers

C#: you want microsoft to run your code on your employer's computer (also you are doing this for money)

F#: you like microsoft and want to get in on functional programming

ruby: this is supposed to run on a webserver

pgSQL: this is supposed to run on a database server

golang: you work in devops or fintech or both

Ada: you work for the US government and cannot talk about it

@skye I am noticing with increasing desperation that I have been gainfully employed writing in entirely *way* too many languages :blobcatO_O:

@skye Assembly: you are in college and have a project due.

How to decide on a programming language: Part 2

Post on social media or SO about how you're planning to start a project to do XYZ in $InsertLiterallyAnyLanguageHere before going to bed.

Wake up the next morning with 5000 reply guys having a fight in the mentions over why you're wrong.

@skye

@skye This is way too true. Excel is driving me to the bottle....

@skye@toot.cat You're totally right. I'm a professional Java developer and I do it only for the money.

And yes, at some point when I wanted to get shit done, I used Python.

@skye c#: you were going to do java but your employer has a microsoft partner deal

@skye Astonishingly enough I'm going to agree with almost all that list.

In particular Perl. If anyone insists on me reading Perl, let alone trying to write it, I'm looking for a new job. And I told them that at the original interview, so it doesn't come as a surprise.

@skye the project i invested most time in, is written in perl. and i did it willingly because i really liked perl back in the days 😜

@skye
This explains why I can never manage to finish my rust projects :blobcatnotlikethisgoogly:

@skye

This accurately reflects the language I use for fun (Python) and the one I use at work (Java).

@skye I gotta (re-)learn Pascal.

@skye

Haskell: you are trans and neurodivergent and your special interest is category theory

@skye ruby: I like being left off of lists of popular languages

@skye 😆 (especially the last one)

@skye

Go: oogler

@skye "perl: no" took me out

@skye where objective-c, c#, batch, assembly, brainfuck, lua or cobol?

@skye while I'm generally not a fan of lang stereotyping, I am in fact trans and program in Rust so....yeah

@skye @hypnobeard Hey now, some of us use bash because we’re lazy and want to do something simple and ugly and it’s easier to use commands to download, move, and convert files then figure out a bunch of software libraries 😂😝

@skye It bothers me that Rust has that association, because there are so many other good reasons to use it in specific kinds of projects.

@skye

TypeScript: you decided JS would be more fun with a built in minigame

Processing: you just want pretty lights

Lua: you didn't choose Lua, it's just the scripting language used by the tool you need to modify

C#: someone paid you to use this years ago and now your soul belongs to Microsoft

@skye fortran: you are 60+ years old and love the "good old days", or a climate scientist, or an orbital dynamicist, or maybe all 3.

@skye @jalcine

Ha! Try and make me stop! ;)

@skye extended

haxe: you are doing this for extensibility

typescript: this is supposed to run in a browser, but with way more extra steps

nodejs: you like being tortured

typescript on node: torture, but you order the dungeon master to whip you "at a specific speed, please"

cobol: ok boomer

brightscript: you are a roku app developer

autohotkey: you REALLY have to get shit done

@skye when should someone use SETL?

@skye

Dart: You are too lazy to learn two languages, but jokes on you, you had to learn those two ANYWAY and a third.

@skye Clojure: when you realise you've been doing it all wrong for 30 years

@skye Sighs in Z80 assembly. -_-

@skye implying that anyone likes programming in bash.

@skye FORTRAN: This is your Pension scheme

@skye fortran: scared of assembler

@skye visual basic for applications, y'all

@skye

lua: you play WoW, but your macros go over the 255 char limit

@skye excel: you are @sirocyl and this is just what you do

@skye c#: goto 'java'

@skye

Awww :( :( :(

/me slinks back off to 1998 when people cared about perl

@skye css: what do you mean it's supposed to do something? it looks amazing

@skye
Rust makes me trans?

What am I missing?

@skye time for perl

@skye What about C#?

@skye golang: you want to get shit done, but as a daemon or on a server and without worrying that your dependencies will break.

@skye I'm assuming C# is just considered synonymous with Java? 😂

@skye I wish this list had existed in 1992 when I decided to do my final year project in (the then brand new and poorly documented) C++. Why not do it in Pascal, there were dozens of books available, they said. Naah mate, I'm to cool for school 🤦

@skye There is an absolutely cursed bit of code I created for work that converts an auth database to another auth DB format written in perl and bash.

The developers spent six months trying to make this conversion work, and told me it was impossible.

Four hours later I had a working prototype of cursedness.

We are trying to get rid of it but it's Too Fucking Reliable and so far this pile of utter jank has beaten out other proposed replacements.

@skye I somehow should feel insulted ;-)

@skye tbf javascript also falls into "you're doing this for money"
i know i would never learn JS in my right mind if i didn't need a job :dracthyr_lul_lmao:

@skye fortran: you are still alive?

@skye :(

@skye What is wrong with FORTRAN exactly?

@skye how to start 10 flame wars with a single post 😂

@skye
echo "But it's great for simple things, and there are too many people who don't do any automation at all"

print "* sends some hate, perl++, next step after bash! :)\n";

@skye

And what about us aging COBOL programmers?

@skye I want to hear about C# & SQL :)

@skye @Em0nM4stodon Perl slander!

What next? Fortran?!

@skye REAL programmers code in powerpoint.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3loq22TxSc

@skye What about Ruby?

@skye
R: pain is the only thing that makes you feel alive any more.

@skye Prolog: you spend all of your time expressing the problem as elegantly as you can.

@skye

Just switch the texts for #Perl and #Python, and we're friends.

@skye
Yeah, sometimes I look at my incredibly complicated Excel sheets and think "you should have been a programmer."

Because anyone who gets as, um, "creative" with Excel as I do is *clearly* frustrated in some area of their life. 😅

@skye

Fortran: You are an elderly scientist

Assembly: You think compiled languages are just a passing fad.

Machine code: You require psychiatric help.

@skye
htmX = vanilla #JavaScript

I wonder if anyone reading your toot is giving it a try?

https://htmx.org/

@skye LOL, I tried all of them and I'm using 3-4 of them in daily business (hell no, it's not Excel)

@skye But what about… Visual Basic? 👀

@skye

go: stop

@skye Harsh takes! I like C, Java, bash and perl