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Top-level
Being bi, Ive struggled with this a lot over decades, yes, decades, where its like, sharing that with the right people has been nothing but bounty, but as public social identity its brought nothing but pain, embarrassment, argument, and even alienation from other queer folks. I generally dont volunteer info on my own accord, but will be honest if prompted and that generally helps me avoid the troubles that kept me fully closeted for a little under half my life 5 comments
I'm the same about volunteering info., unless the situation calls for it. The amount of people who say "why didn't you tell me?" really underscores heteronormativity. I usually say, "Hmmm. I guess you assumed I was heterosexual?" lovingly, but yeah. I am read as straight and non-disabled most of the time and get accused of passing. I have no interest in passing but I also am not interested in broadcasting/centering my sexuality. Thinking about all the times I have come out, and the strategic times I haven't, a lot of it boils down to Them: "Why didn't you tell me"  "Why didn't you tell me??" Well first of all they aren't owed that information, and second of all it's not YOUR fault they made an assumption about you. Not correcting an assumption is not the same as lying. |
Gregory's Server
@dramypsyd
On the last one with alienation, how it feels sometimes when being invited or advertised to turn out to queer happenings