Gregory's ServerStop demanding people out themselves. Some queer people have homophobic/transphobic relatives and it’s not safe for their sexual orientation or gender identity to get back to their family. Some queer people live in states where the government is actively trying to kill them. Some queer people simply don’t want to share that information with you.
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On the last one with alienation, how it feels sometimes when being invited or advertised to turn out to queer happenings I'm the same about volunteering info., unless the situation calls for it. The amount of people who say "why didn't you tell me?" really underscores heteronormativity. I usually say, "Hmmm. I guess you assumed I was heterosexual?" lovingly, but yeah. I am read as straight and non-disabled most of the time and get accused of passing. I have no interest in passing but I also am not interested in broadcasting/centering my sexuality. Thinking about all the times I have come out, and the strategic times I haven't, a lot of it boils down to Them: "Why didn't you tell me" "Why didn't you tell me??" Well first of all they aren't owed that information, and second of all it's not YOUR fault they made an assumption about you. Not correcting an assumption is not the same as lying. @dramypsyd Despite the fact that another person's sexuality has feck all to do with them, it doesn't stop those who want to "out" people they perceive as being different to themselves from pointing their fingers. They want everyone to be just like them and refuse to accept that people are different, individual, free thinking human beings. The film "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" comes to mind. @dramypsyd I have watched AND experienced for myself, the discrimination in this country against EVERYONE , ANYONE, who is not rich, white and/or born into a rich family. It’s DISGUSTING, SHAMEFUL and just perpetuates the HYPOCRISY in Amer. against the people who built and defended this country !! LIES, greed, hypocrisy and racism are rampant in our own gov. and I’m just SICK of it. @dramypsyd As a child of 11-12 I watched a fellow student in middle school get bullied until he committed suicide for being perceived to be gay and as a child of 17 I witnessed a high school coach/health teacher be relentlessly bullied by most of her class of freshmen health students because she was perceived to be gay. I'm not telling anyone what to do, but I decided I would not be in the closet as an adult because it's not even protective. @dramypsyd Also, in my experience most queer people have homophobic/transphobic relatives and governments actively trying to kill them. And studies have shown that heterosexual people's gaydar is as good as queer people's regardless of whether you wish as a queer person to consciously share the information of your queerness or not. @carolynf That's heartbreaking and I applaud you being open about who you are 💜 I just also don't fault anyone who makes a different judgment about their safety level being out. @dramypsyd I've always found it awkward and never came out to my parents. They just figured it out cause I would mention girl crushes. Like why do you have to tell you randomly what genders I like. Stop assuming everyone is straight. |
@dramypsyd
Being bi, Ive struggled with this a lot over decades, yes, decades, where its like, sharing that with the right people has been nothing but bounty, but as public social identity its brought nothing but pain, embarrassment, argument, and even alienation from other queer folks.
I generally dont volunteer info on my own accord, but will be honest if prompted and that generally helps me avoid the troubles that kept me fully closeted for a little under half my life