I'm the same about volunteering info., unless the situation calls for it.
The amount of people who say "why didn't you tell me?" really underscores heteronormativity. I usually say, "Hmmm. I guess you assumed I was heterosexual?" lovingly, but yeah. I am read as straight and non-disabled most of the time and get accused of passing. I have no interest in passing but I also am not interested in broadcasting/centering my sexuality.
@Claire @dramypsyd
Thinking about all the times I have come out, and the strategic times I haven't, a lot of it boils down to
Them: "Why didn't you tell me"
Me: "I don't trust you enough to think I am the authority on my own experiences with this particular thing"