@sjvn So the 'optimum' solution is zero degrees for zero time.

@sjvn Nine women can’t have a baby in a month

@sjvn love it. Now illustrate one chef carving the turkey vs ten.

@sjvn
How misleading not to use Kelvin with a real zero value. 😜

@sjvn there's a third scene: 1 hour at 450° (golden outside, raw inside, salmonella party later.)

@sjvn Project management: Human neuronal pattern matching applied the wrong way.

@sjvn Reminds me of a personal favorite aphorism: "Nine women can't make 1 baby in 1 month."

@sjvn Back in the days before "agile" when "project management" was actually a thing my favourite book was this one https://www.biblio.com/book/data-processing-project-management-gildersleeve-thomas/d/1162689340

@sjvn #ALT4you

Illustration of two cooked turkeys.

Left: turkey captioned "3 hours @ 300°F" looks perfectly roasted.

Center: "≠"

Right: turkey captioned "1 hour @ 900°F" is all black with smoke rising from it.

Image credit: "Alvin (@JustSomeDev)"

@sjvn

@sjvn This, except it's not just your food, it's also the cooks.

@sjvn My favourite version of this is:

"It takes nine months to make a baby. You can't do it in one month with nine women."

@sjvn Image description: A good chicken: 3 hours at 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Unequals. Black chicken: 1 hour at 900 degrees Fahrenheit.

@sjvn 9 hrs at 100F must be even better!

@sjvn I like this aside from the implication that 900F is 3x as hot as 300F (you'd have to convert to Kelvin or Rankine and back to figure that out - Rankine has the advantage that you just add/subtract a value when converting with F).

@sjvn Of course not, the Fahrenheit 0 point is arbitrary. 420K * 3 would be about 990°C or 1800°F

@sjvn dont try this with chicken

@sjvn
If one glass of wine each day is healthy, you should be able to front-load your health regimen with 30 glasses on the first of each month.

(Of course, management wouldn't bother to find out that the link between moderate alcohol consumption and health has essentially been thrown out the window.)

@sjvn I was told we needed to make sure nobody got salmonella, and I’d say we did a damn good job! Now you’re changing the requirements with all this talk about “taste” and “carcinogens”! 🙃

@sjvn
1 woman = 1 baby in 9 months.
9 woman = 1 baby in 1 month.

@sjvn @benuna 😁

@sjvn The problem is that temperature in F (or in C, for that matter) is not absolute temperature, it has an arbitrary zero-point, so you cannot just multiply it. It will work, instead of 3 hours at 422 K, to roast it for 1 hour at 1266K, because physics, right? Dammit, physics is broken, too.

@sjvn yupp, been there, seen it, done it!

@sjvn since no one has mentioned it yet, this is the thesis of Frederick Brooks' influential 1975 book "The Mythical Man-Month".

@sjvn I asked my boss, "If one regular mask gives you 30% protection from Covid, would wearing 3 give you 90% protection?"

@sjvn
Project managers are people who think 9 women can deliver one baby in one month.

@sjvn 300 degrees? This graphic is made by someone who doesn't know how to cook. (Probably a project manager.)

@sjvn

If you want to go Gastro, you have to consider its temperature on entry.

@sjvn 1 pregnant woman makes a baby in 40.weeks, 10 pregnant women wont make a baby in 4. :-)

@sjvn I usually cook them at 400 F.

@sjvn I didn’t know Project Managers learned about the Larson-Miller Relationship in their 101 courses.

@sjvn 😀 Reminds me of:

Relax, Candace. It's simple math. Instead of cooking it at 350 degrees for one hour, we could cook it for 5 minutes at...9,000 degrees! What could go wrong?"
— Stacy Hirano, in Phineas and Ferb

@sjvn ah, the Mythical Man Month. I think my career would have been far less lucrative if my project managers had absorbed Brooks’ advice.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mythical_Man-Month

https://archive.org/details/MythicalManMonth

@sjvn bosses always want you to crank it to 900°

@sjvn

Even if that WAS the case, those aren't absolute temperatures, and you can't just divide/multiply them like that.

@sjvn Ah, yes, I see. Because Fahrenheit is not an absolute scale. They should have used Kelvin.

@sjvn But if we send 3x the cooks at it, surely it will go faster?

@sjvn How I wish I had this meme available in the last 30 years of working for the telco industrial complex!

@sjvn If I recall correctly someone wrote a book on a topic similar to this about his time working on OS/360, where IBM's solution to the project not meeting deadlines was to add more programmers, which ended up causing more issues than it fixed.

@sjvn bold of you to assume the team could agree on how to season, prepare, and put the dish in the oven in the first place

@sjvn nine women can’t make a baby in one month!!

@sjvn I prefer "nine men can't make a baby in a month," mostly just because people usually miss the obvious problem with it.

@sjvn
In a similar vein. I had to have a conversation with a colonel in the air force about that same thing... what finally got through is when I said

"if you go out and get 9 women pregnant, you don't get a baby in a month. You still get to wait 9 months for that baby and all their siblings."

The silence on the other end of the phone was hilarious...The range safety officer chimed in and stated that he did not recommend trying to bypass the fixed test time "that way"...

@sjvn Project Managers don't eat chicken; they eat elephants...

@sjvn Management: "We want it in 1 hour but we can't afford 900 deg F, can you get it done in 1 hour at 300 deg F?"

@sjvn
The Mythical Turkey Hour

@sjvn and likely raw inside.

@sjvn I feel like this sums up my last 48 hours

@sjvn this was proven decades ago but reality is a project managers worst nightmare

@sjvn My mum always says you can't rush things in life, and that definitely includes cooking.

@sjvn In all fairness, the 900° manager would probably still deliver a bad bird even if they mimic'd the 300° recipe. Years of practice come from a drive/passion to improve. I'm just not a sure a 900° manager loves what they are doing, even with better results.

@sjvn well duh you have to use Kelvin not Fahrenheit @TidalFlats @keithmorrisnm

@sjvn equiv of 9 women in 1 month can't make a baby

@sjvn Not to be the "akshually" guy, but if you want to multiply a temperature by three you should do it in Kelvins. 300°F = 422 K. Yes, yes, I know this is a meme.

@sjvn The first error was the ridiculous use of imperal measures that near nobody uses or knows. Use Celsius like 96.2% of humans do. 😁

@sjvn Phoenix weather 101, ask @estherschindler :)