|
the 4 types of national anthems: - Gosh, This Sure is an Attractive Piece of Land We've Got Here - That One War in Particular was a Doozy - We Only Sing Parts of This Song Now Because the Other Verses are Racist - We Speak French and We Will Fucking Kill You 134 comments
@VeryBadLlama @billmk @anxietybear “Folks of the land, it is your turn to let yourselves speak of love."-Gilles Vigneault @VeryBadLlama Some days you want the anodyne ode to the scenery, some days you want the Jesuit war hymn. @VeryBadLlama The thing I find most interesting about the Canadian anthem is that the Anglophones sing about protecting their country ("we stand on guard for thee") while the Francophones sing about the country protecting *them* ("protégera nos foyers et nos droits"). 🤔    @SkipHuffman @VeryBadLlama even America the Beautiful is at least aspirational (and way easier to sing) @SkipHuffman @VeryBadLlama ...and of course, the Battle Hymn of the Republic (while totally inappropriate) has some of the most metal lyrics in all of Americana @VeryBadLlama do lyric-less anthems like Spain’s one get their own category though? 😁 Something like: - Hum hum, hum hum! Hum hum hummm.  @VeryBadLlama the Soviet anthem was a celebration of worker liberation and internationalism :) @VeryBadLlama yep, we have the English Protestant anthem and the French Catholic anthem. Just read them both to my 12-year old on Canada Day. "Those are not at all the same thing. We just do the bilingual version at school." Is there another category for "we mashed versions together to confuse people"? Maybe a special category for doing three verses in three different languages? @VeryBadLlama I mean, the English version _also_ fits "We Speak French and We Will Fucking Kill You" if you know to look for it. It's not in your face about it, but that's not really how we roll anyways. @jappel Ah, an excuse to share my Preliminary Taxonomy of British Isles Folk Music: - As I walked out something happened @mediapathic @jappel If the last category contains "William", you could perhaps expand / specify it as: - You know why there is blood everywhere? Mum put me up to it. @PerAhlberg @mediapathic @jappel you forgot Edward. Although it can be mum it wasn't me, or it's your fault. @onepict @PerAhlberg @mediapathic @jappel The versions I know, the question of interest is what's / whose blood is it? Both Edward and "Son oh Son". @colomon @onepict @mediapathic @jappel Same thing in 'Sven i Rosengård'; the protagonist says he's been in the stable, and initially he claims that his clothes are bloody because he's been kicked by his horse, but then he fesses up that actually he's murdered his brother. 'Ebbe Skammelson' is a narrative, not a question-and-answer lyric, so the killings are presented in gruesome detail. @mediapathic @jappel Calling an island British that isn't is one way to get some blood up. @samueljohnson @jappel as an ugly American I assume I am wrong about all matters of geography.  @jkfecke arguably Jerusalem is neither British nor Island nor Folk. I know, I know, but Britain is defined in terms of Jerusalem, not the other way around. @jappel @mediapathic with a healthy dose of 'working with machines sucks / workers are exploited' https://livingwithmachines.ac.uk/echoing-through-time-new-tunes-for-old-words/ @mediapathic @jappel This also works for American Country & Western music. Just replace ‘ship’ with ‘Ford Pickup truck’. @mediapathic @jappel you forgot this one: @squeezyjohn I feel that comes under the "about to be hanged" category, at least in the example I'm familiar with (and why did Old Uncle tell him it was cool to do that??) @mediapathic @squeezyjohn If you broaden it out a bit, "Crazy Man Michael" is clearly an example, and there's no hanging in there at all. @mediapathic @squeezyjohn And that just made me think of selkie songs, which don't seem to fit well in any of your categories? @colomon @squeezyjohn pls send examples of selkie songs so I may update my taxonomy. @mediapathic @colomon This podcast would be a good place to start https://podtail.com/en/podcast/alternative-stories-and-fake-realities/selkie/ @mediapathic @jappel Thank you for this, I needed it a week ago when I'd finished reading Richard Thompson's "Beeswing" and gone on a miniature Fairport Convention listening jag. @mediapathic @jappel Or occasionally, "that girl/guy is really cute" or "my ex is a cheater" or "bye, loser, I'm heading off with the hot gypsy/fae/soldier"  @mediapathic @jappel You missed: * Theoretically it could be she, but it never is. @VeryBadLlama not quite, no. More like any battle with us will be a doozy, we've had it and we're not taking it anymore. @VeryBadLlama this made me laugh and I don’t know how to retoot it and that made me laugh too @VeryBadLlama in Australia we only sing the first part because the second verse is specifically pro-immigration.  @VeryBadLlama you forgot the polish anthem: We Are Mad, We Will Resurrect Like A Final Boss And There's Nothing You Can Do, We Have The Power Of God And Anime On Our Side™ - Ode to a God™ who - as the constitution points out - ought to have no business meddling in government affairs of said nation 🇨🇭  @robryk @VeryBadLlama and the Hungarian riff on that theme, "God please give us a victory for once, we have already had enough defeats to pay in advance for all possible future sins" @VeryBadLlama @VeryBadLlama You forgot "Our royal family is proud to remind you they're all foreign". @VeryBadLlama Struggling to place Lofsöngur among these. > Iceland's thousand years, "When you've spent enough time as feared raiders from the north, your anthem can be about a flower shedding a tear and dying"?  @VeryBadLlama No. 3 is clearly the German one. The Bavarian one is category no. 1, with additional christian / religious-fanatic pathos.  Danish national anthem: 1st stanza, "Attractive land"  @VeryBadLlama for political and other reasons, Ireland and South Africa both have two for sport matches @VeryBadLlama England's unofficial anthem "Jerusalem" has a line about us screwing up our green and pleasant land ("Among those dark satanic mills")  @VeryBadLlama The Norwegian national anthem is mostly about love and struggle, but I'd be hard pressed to get through all the verses. @VeryBadLlama I guess that "we survived" (through history, up to this point) matches the Type 2? Or is it the additional Type 5? :blobfox3c:  @VeryBadLlama Actually, with regard to the fourth category, if you listen carefully it’s not about “we will kill you” but about dramatic acceptance of an impure product in agricultural fertilization. @mtheriaultsf @VeryBadLlama @VeryBadLlama My mind is already visualizing the Venn diagram here, where Canada fits in the overlap of 3 & 4 and USA fits in the overlap of 1, 2, & 3.  @VeryBadLlama Spain: "take that out, better take that out too...let's just not have any lyrics at all, to be on the safe side" @VeryBadLlama hilariously the Indian national anthem was originally written in Urdu, by Muslim poet Allama Muhammad Iqbal. The literal translation is "Better than the entire world, is our Hindustan". love, love, love this! I think Canada has the first one, we have the middle two here in the US and I love the goddam french and their bloody but lovely little ditty! i wish i knew the words to more, and at least none of them are about saving the old prig who is now king of england! And then there's this ...booze and world peace @VeryBadLlama Type 5: Hungary. "Oh God Please Stop Punishing Us We Have Had 1000 Years of Suffering"  @VeryBadLlama @cstross We *should* have had "So this hobo stole a sheep and drowned trying to get away from the cops". Because Advance Australia Fair is bloody awful. @VeryBadLlama I love the fact that the French anthem talks both about how magnanimous we are and also how we're going to water our fields with the blood of our enemies. Like, pick one. @VeryBadLlama Oz could have had one about stealing sheep, but boringly chose one about land, which has needed a few edits for sexism and racism. @VeryBadLlama The US anthem is set to the music of a British drinking song, "To Anacreon in Heaven." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l-n64NWHS4 Joseph Haydn wrote the music for the German national anthem as: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gott_erhalte_Franz_den_Kaiser @VeryBadLlama There is a special 5th type. The Netherlands has a national anthem that sings the praises of Spain and pledges undying loyalty to the Spanish king, because tradition apparently means singing about colonial oppressors even when you manage to get rid of them.  @VeryBadLlama The US anthem hits 3 of 4. And if we spoke French it would totally get the whole house.  @VeryBadLlama 😂 That French anthem is rousing until you hear the translation then it’s bloody scary! 😂😂😂 Sung by Mirielle Mathieu is terrifying @VeryBadLlama @cstross I’ve always liked Laurie Anderson’s take on national anthems: @VeryBadLlama I'm of the opinion that the US should trade in it's racist verses for a doozy of a war. Our national anthem should have always been the last bit of the Star and Stripes Forever.  @VeryBadLlama I mean... that is the time to brag about all the (bad) shit you've done... Oh. And we're a nice place to visit. 😉 @VeryBadLlama oh, and imperial, and large-ish nations; compare to polish or ukrainian anthems.  @VeryBadLlama I feel like the Irish one is category 4 just without the speaking French bit.  @VeryBadLlama I’m rather fond of New Zealand’s anthem: God, Please Don’t Let the Big Countries Hurt Us. @VeryBadLlama Austria: No. 1, and We Still Don't Understand Why Our Ungrateful Subject Peoples Wanted to Leave @VeryBadLlama Italy: Like France but more operatic and we won't kill half as many of you as we say  Australia's one is mostly 1. Apparently being "girt by sea" is a thing to be individually proud of...  @VeryBadLlama Puerto Rico is “we speak Spanish and we will fucking kill the colonizers” except the Americans thought that was too violent so they ran a contest to replace the lyrics with n.1 🤡 @danielaKay @VeryBadLlama Which one are you thinking of? 👀 And... I don't know but I would assume yes? @i_dabble @VeryBadLlama whelp, to be exact, we Germans don't sing one part because it celebrates our good reputation in the world (yeah, right) and one part because it names four rivers as Germany's borders which aren't even in modern-day Germany, which makes our neighbors kinda twitchy. But yeah, technically , it's not really racism why we're not singing the whole anthem any more...  @VeryBadLlama  @VeryBadLlama the Polish anthem falls into the second category @VeryBadLlama I was half-heartedly wondering exactly how true this is, and started alphabetically, (as you do), so now I know that the current Afghan national anthem includes the lines"Look at these many skulls, that's what was left by the Russians" and honestly that's enough for me to say 'yup, checks out.' to the rest. @VeryBadLlama the Polish one kind of fits the second category but it's more like "we've been fucked all over but oh! we're still here"
@VeryBadLlama leave it to each country's punk musicians to make the real & honest hymns.  @VeryBadLlama ding ding ding,no. 3, with the addendum that we adjusted the racist parts to be inclusive @VeryBadLlama and the spanish anthem who hasn't lyrics and we can sing something like "na naaa na naaa nanananana..." @VeryBadLlama national anthems are great, because they clearly expose outdated state propaganda. Otherwise they suck monkey balls and should be ridiculed or ignored. That's about all I need to know about them, right? (Asking for the intellectually lazy, from a country singing they always honored the king of another country, while asking no questions)  @VeryBadLlama Having gone through several national anthems as a 72 yr old Australian, I can confirm this. At this point in time we have Type 3. An awful colonialist dirge called "Advance Australia". We had to change the word "young" to "one" to make the first verse acceptable and we don't sing the second verse at all because that's where the racism starts.  @VeryBadLlama Only Fascists and Islamophobes Sing the Anthem Now So Please Don't, You're Embarrassing Me (My French friend when I started singing La Marseillaise for fun) |
Gregory's Server
fun fact, the Canadian national anthem fits into two different categories depending on which language you're singing it in