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forrestbrazeal

idk why people say funding OSS is difficult

31 comments
chebra

@forrestbrazeal "OnlyFunctions" is actually mongodb.

M. Treasurer commandasaurus 🦖

@forrestbrazeal

Jessica, out of frame: "I mean, if you were going to spend THAT much, why didn't you buy me a star on Core-Python?"

Hugo Mills

@forrestbrazeal I think I might actually try watching the merge conflict pay-per-view.

At least, a couple of times.

Schlemihl Schalmeier

@darkling @forrestbrazeal I want Steve Inman as commentator: "This commit will probably be the biggest mistake of his life. You should have just let it go, man! You should have just said: 'You know what? I'm gonna move on with my code', but no, you woke up and chose violence today and got up to somebody's repo and committed, just as he did too. And boom! A merge conflict straight to the dome!"

Matt Campbell

@forrestbrazeal Can you please add a description (alt text) to this image?

MostlyBlindGamer

@matt @forrestbrazeal that would be excellent. I’d even boost that!

Glyph

@forrestbrazeal absolutely lost it at OnlyFunctions™

Jani Poikela

@forrestbrazeal
#alt4you

comic strip in six panels

BOLD IDEAS FOR FUNDING OSS:
1. THE GITHUB STAR REGISTRY: NAME A STAR AFTER SOMEONE SPECIAL!
- "STAR 179,063 on tensorflow 'JESSICA'"
- "THIS COST HOW MUCH?"

2. MERGE CONFLICT PAY-PER-VIEW!
- "OHH! THAT'S A BRUTAL DIFF"

3. OBFUSCATE YOUR CODE, THEN PAYWALL YOUR DOCS
- "STUMPED YET? SUBSCRIBE TO OUR ONLY FUNCTIONS™"

Jani Poikela

@forrestbrazeal
4. REPLACE OSS FOUNDATIONS WITH MLM SCHEMES
- "THEN IF EACH OF YOUR MAINTAINERS SIGNS UP TEN NEW MAINTAINERS..."

5. AMAZON SPONSORS ALL OSS PROJECTS IN PERPETUITY
- "YOU WORK FOR US NOW. HERE'S YOUR PEE BOTTLE"

6. STRAIGHT-UP BRIBERY
- "I'LL GIVE YOU $50k TO MERGE MY MALICIOUS PR."
- "BUDDY, FOR $0 YOU CAN TAKE OVER THIS WHOLE CURSED PROJECT."

Neblib 🥥🌴

@forrestbrazeal #alt4you #alttext4you
A web-comic listing "Bold Ideas For Funding OSS".

The first panel is titled "The Github Star Registry Name a Star After Someone Special" with a person giving a certificate naming star 179063 on tensorflow after "Jessica" presumably to a female appearing "Jessica". "Jesscia" responds "This cost HOW much?" 1/5

Neblib 🥥🌴

@forrestbrazeal

2/5
The second panel is titled "Merge Conflict Pay-Per-View" and shows three people sitting on a couch watching a TV showing a split image with one side colored red and the other colored green. The TV has a voice saying "Ohh, that's a brutal diff!" and one of the viewers says "I don't see how he comes back from this one".

Neblib 🥥🌴

@forrestbrazeal 3/5 The third panel is titled "Obfuscate your code, then paywall your docs" with a popup over text saying "Stumped yet? Subscribe to our onlyfunctions TM" and a blue accept button.
The fourth panel is titled "Replace OSS Foundations with MLM Schemes" and shows a person in-front of a poster of a tree graph speaking to a large audience. The speaker says "then if each of your maintainers signs up ten new maintainers"

Neblib 🥥🌴

@forrestbrazeal 4/5 The fifth panel is titled "Amazon sponsors all OSS projects in perpetuity" and shows a person in business attire handing a bottle to a person sitting at a desk with a computer on it. The person in business attire says "You work for us now. Here's your pee bottle". The panel also includes the author's fedi handle.

Neblib 🥥🌴

@forrestbrazeal 5/5 The sixth panel is titled "Straight-up bribery" and shows a person in a spy outfit talking to a hoodie wearing person in front of a computer. The spy says "I'll give you $50k to merge my malicious PR" and the hoodie wearing person responds "Buddy, for $0 you can take over this whole cursed project."

AsgerGitz

@forrestbrazeal actually honestly surprised MLM OSS havent been done yet (as far as I know)

das-g

@sillydan @forrestbrazeal Isn't that roughly how the Linux kernel with its subsystems is being maintained?

nlupo

@forrestbrazeal The last one looks a lot like xz.

FormlessOne

@forrestbrazeal I snorted tea at "merge conflict PPV"... I've been on projects where the comment war could've been used as evidence by the ICC...

DELETED

@forrestbrazeal I really like the merge conflict pay-per-view 😁

Xela

@nebucatnetzer me too. Have to implement that somewhere! 🤣 @forrestbrazeal

Morten Linderud

@forrestbrazeal
For years I've told people I'd sign anything for 20 bucks.

Nobody has taken me up in it yet.

Jess👾

@forrestbrazeal
There's no way Amazon would supply you with a pee bottle. They just make it impossible for you to work without one, and make you buy your own.

Dave

@forrestbrazeal Definitely worked on "docs on the the paid version", but boss was super cheap so I just patched it to get the paid features.

Trent

@forrestbrazeal now I want to see competitive conflict resolution races 😭

Drew Naylor

@forrestbrazeal Funny enough, back before NFT's became a thing, I thought about how I could make closed-source custom licensed binary themes for my app launcher that work with the theme engine I made if I really wanted to, like one of those bad thoughts you get but decide against. This comic reminded me of that.

kaiserkiwi :kiwibird:

@forrestbrazeal Probably because blind people can't see your post. Please consider to at alt text.