Not getting too much recruiter interest on my Indeed dot com CV that lists the last 12 years of my life as "Bigfoot Hunter"

All in due time...the walls are closing in

i see a lot of people making fun of the new Apple goggles, but if it allows me to finally fuck an Excel file, there's no amount i won't spend

when it comes to journalists around these parts, i feel like it's time to stop talking about it and start being about it

i have challenged Bob Woodward to a 3-round battle in the octagon, and we shall meet at dawn

listening to some Springsteen and finally realizing, "hold on one second. this lyric seems like a metaphor for having sex"

Howard Hughes was such a badass wealthy guy. A dude who actually did a bunch of important shit in aviation and film, then wore tissue boxes as shoes when he realized it was time to do that. A true visionary. Elon? Hitting the tissue box thing way too early. It's almost over for him

currently noticing some latency on this site. my guess is it's because they don't have 44 billion dollars

Spongebob was constantly shamed for having pants that fit his admittedly non-traditional--and frankly, horrifying--body, while Porky Pig and Donald Duck were out there flashing their genitals all over the place. Children watch this!!!

Double standard much?

one thing i've never regretted is being too lazy to ever change instances

one of the worst things twitter has done is turning some college professors into celebrities

these soccer players should just kick it in the goal imo

English lads after seeing their team score a goal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruAF71UVMTc

oh cool, the Euro Cup pits England vs Italy. wonderful. i guess i will just be rooting for poor officiating

i think i understand the phrase "hoist by his own petard", but i've never looked for the etymology, and i never will. the mystery makes it a nice treat

i am going to try to drive more social media drama

i've been saying for years that we should set the ocean on fire, so i'm glad it finally happened

#SorryNotSorry

whenever i'm suspicious about someone, i go to the local library and scroll through microfiche to determine that they have a dark past

i've learned never to ask what anything means here, out of fear of getting bofa'd. just gotta ride it out

Some US people stay awake to hand off the relay baton to the UK folk, and they show up for 30 seconds, then they have an "English breakfast" (7 eggs, 4 sausages, multiple cans of beans, a rack of lamb)

Then they settle down for "2nd sleep", and it's like? Enough is enough

Eugen just went ahead and said there should be no search function at all, huh?