Gregory's Server
NOW THAT THE ONION HAS PURCHASED INFOWARS, I FEEL THAT I ABSOLUTELY MUST GET HIRED AS A CONTRIBUTOR.
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3 posts total
LOOK, I NEED TO BUILD THIS GIANT LASER TO BLOW UP THE MOON AND ALSO GLIESE-581C, AND PLUTONIUM AIN'T CHEAP. I NEED $2 TRILLION TO GET STARTED. MAKE ALL MILITARY APPROPRIATIONS BILLS PAYABLE TO LRRR, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8. DO YOUR PART, AND I'LL DO MINE. # MUTUALAID #GIANTLASER  Pfft. Lasers are so inefficient at destroying planets. It takes millions of seconds to slowly melt and then boil the planet into space. if you want a fast clean planetary kill, relativistic asteroids are where its at. What could be more fun than watching a planet get smashed so hard it stops orbiting and instead falls into it's star? I PLAYED DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FOR THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT. I TRIED TO KILL A TREE. THE TREE WON. IT WAS NICE. @LRRRonEarth Apparently we all owe our Arboreal Overlords more than we previously estimated. That said, can I interest you in a used chain saw? |