@Gargron this whole affair sounds quite similar to the Cuba crisis, when the Soviets put missiles close to the States, and the States did the same to the Soviets. In the end, both sides retreated.
It's just that Russia really hates having NATO's rockets close by, which is sort of understandable. I'm not justifying Russia's actions, of course.
Disclaimer: I don't know much about politics, these are just my intuitions. As you're native, you probably know better.