i've always been mixed on the experience ever since ive first tried activitypub based socials in 2019.
its nice to have a lot of customizability, but there's also a lack of customizability and control in the aspects that are most important, i guess.
It's hard to get anywhere as a small account if you dont have outside sources, and its hard to manage a large account without being overwhelmed, unless you have experience in handling such (i.e a ex-social media manager). its fun with friends to post together and have a "social" media that way, but the moment you start scaling up it becomes a mess and starts showing the flaws of [activitypub] itself.
A lot of the work does have to go into places like management of the instance itself, filtering out anything "unwanted", but when you have over 5, 10, 15k... people its hard to get a small group of people to do that, especially with the tools at hand- a group of people can just host a new server and domain and keep doing targetted harrassment, for example (and vice versa, not being able to see certain people because there's too broad of a filter). it really is a double edged sword, and honestly, it allows both the best and the worst of people.
I wish you well on trying to maintain your presence on a platform like this, because it truely has its goodsides and its badsides. make sure to take mental breaks- some people are only here to make people feel bad, but they are a loud minority, one that is fed by a lack of love. You are not a company who needs to keep the presence of a neutral entity, you are a person, and all [good] people deserve to be respected.