@darius Tom Emmer drops out of speaker’s race, ancient crystal suggests.

I suppose it’s a touch too simple to deserve a bot but it’s tempting to make a browser extension

@darius I would love to see a list of the ancient crystal’s other suggestions

@darius FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD, ancient crystal suggests

@darius

@darius i don't know about the rest of you all, but when an ancient crystal speaks to ME i don't just take what it says as a "suggestion"

@darius Why did that remind me of the time crystals scene in Napoleon Dynamite? Other than because it lives rent-free in my head, I mean. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3LHAlcrTRA

@darius sources close to the crystal and familiar with its terrifying internal lattice confirmed…

@darius Wait, the moon is supposed to be about 4 billion years old, just a tad less than the Earth. Who’s counting millions?

@darius Paywalled, but I thought that the Moon was formed from the Theia impactor ≈50 million years after solar system formation. 40 million years earlier would put the data around the formation of the Earth, 10 million after the solar nebula collapsed.

@darius It's the premise underlying the @davidbrin novel 'Existence'

@darius Glad I wasn't the only one who read it that way https://mastodon.social/@reedmideke/111286813565099291

@darius

Sounds like the plot of a Dr Who episode

@darius This is crazier than that thing with the monkey paw found on Mars.

@darius *reaches into my pocket to pull an ancient crystal out* 'Is that true?'

@darius I smell a Darius Bot.

@darius That would reach parts of the population other bits of science have problems reaching;...

@darius
"'Bow down before me', ancient crystal suggests"

@darius “many ancient crystals are saying…”

@darius That would set an unrealistic expectation of accuracy for said headline 😂

@darius Has the Magic 8–Ball been queried?

@sillygwailo

@darius Right up there with "Ancient alien theorists say... maybe."

@darius

I should be able to have a third glass of wine every evening, ancient crystal suggests