Which brings me to a warning.
Tempting as it can be, under no circumstances should you use the instructions I’ve provided here to assemble your own personal arm of crows to carry out acts of unspeakable evil—or even to wage justified campaigns of retribution against your enemies.
Crows are wise birds, and they will catch own quickly. Once your crow army realizes that your seeming friendship is merely an instrumental ploy to harness their power to your own ends, may God help you—for I cannot.
So that's pretty much it. It's relatively easy to befriend crows, and it's endlessly rewarding. I hope that a few of you are able to make crow friends of your own, and I look forward to hearing about your adventures with them.