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Christine Lemmer-Webber

There's so much I haven't said about the making of the fediverse, ActivityPub, this moment. And so much of all of this feels really emotional for me *personally*. How we got here. The making of the spec. The huge role transphobia is playing in Twitter falling apart paralleling the huge role that trans people played building the fediverse. What I am trying my damnedest to build for the future of decentralized social networks.

There's so much I'd like to say, but talking about it feels dangerous, forbidden, selfish.

Sometimes I do kinda feel written out of all this history, but maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it's for the best.

I didn't realize how fucked up that is until the other day when I commented out loud that I was "lucky" that I didn't get BlueSky because, given what's happening with Twitter, I'd almost certainly be getting a ton of transphobic attention right now. And a friend pointed out how terrible it was that I was even put in a position to *think* that.

Heck, up until pointing that, that's a thing I never even mentioned publicly. There you go, now you know: I was, I believe, second in the running to run BlueSky. It's not a shock they gave it to Jay Graber, I think she's great. But... (cotd ...)

6 Nov 2022 at 22:32 | Open on octodon.social
33 comments | Expand all CWs
Shy bunny

@cwebber Thank you. ^_^ I'm amazed how much Mastodon has brought me, and needless to say, it's likely that would never have happened without ActivityPub.

6 Nov 2022 at 22:34 | Open on lgbt.io
Christine Lemmer-Webber

But that's a thing I haven't really talked about, because talking about it felt weirdly forbidden: I was close enough that I had direct calls with Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal. I had a direct one on one call with Parag where I thought they were going to announce I got BlueSky and instead they told me they were giving it to someone else, but maybe if the person and I got along, I could be the tech lead or something. I guess it's not surprising that I didn't get it: I decided to use my presentations as a test, and I told them exactly what I thought we should do in my usual, excited, but completely direct self... and intentionally not filtering any of that, including about what I thought the mistakes Twitter, Facebook, etc had made. So I guess it's not surprising I gave the impression that I wasn't the right person to be the public lead. That experience did lead me to decide to co-found the Spritely Institute with Randy Farmer instead.

I *will* say that I was surprised that the people who were most cool, of all the top exec folks at Twitter, of having me tell them *exactly* what I thought were Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal. They seemed entertained and were nodding along enthusiastically. A lot of the other top people seemed stunned to have this nonbinary weirdo saying all this stuff to them that was so *direct*. Or that's the read I got.

I did get the impression that both Jack and Parag genuinely cared about building BlueSky btw, that it wasn't some scheme as I think a lot of us feared. But maybe I just felt that way because they were willing to listen to me, and that they were listening at all, seemingly in earnest, was a surprise.

But it was a blessing in disguise, ultimately, because not getting BlueSky meant starting the Spritely Institute doing *exactly* what I thought we should be doing.

Damn, woulda been nice to start with all that money though. A lot less stress. Probably.

But then again, I'd probably have all the transphobes knocking down my door. The eye of Elon himself would probably be upon me. Guess I'm "lucky". Which is fucked up itself, to even think that.

But that's a thing I haven't really talked about, because talking about it felt weirdly forbidden: I was close enough that I had direct calls with Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal. I had a direct one on one call with Parag where I thought they were going to announce I got BlueSky and instead they told me they were giving it to someone else, but maybe if the person and I got along, I could be the tech lead or something. I guess it's not surprising that I didn't get it: I decided to use my presentations...

6 Nov 2022 at 22:36 | Open on octodon.social
Christine Lemmer-Webber

But all of that makes everything I'm watching right now fill me up with a million emotions. It's great to see success. It's frightening to think that being too successful might make you a target.

There's another thing I haven't said, I think: I almost didn't transition because I *knew* I'm a prominent trans engineer, and I know what happens to prominent trans engineers. Fucked up, right?

And like, I guess it's just *weird* to see this thing I've poured myself into, killed myself over, that I've never stopped trying to figure out how to figure out how to get to the next phase, suddenly get all this attention. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE A RICH DUDE GOT UPSET AT A BAD JOKE SITE GETTING KICKED OFF FOR MAKING A TRANSPHOBIC JOKE

You wanna hear a joke? That a bunch of people who are claiming they're all for "freedom of speech" are kissing the feet of *centralization* now that it's at the end of a despot who might get away with letting them say racist, sexist, queerphobic bullshit.

Just watching all this, it's all too real. It's all too personal. It's hard to look away from.

But all of that makes everything I'm watching right now fill me up with a million emotions. It's great to see success. It's frightening to think that being too successful might make you a target.

There's another thing I haven't said, I think: I almost didn't transition because I *knew* I'm a prominent trans engineer, and I know what happens to prominent trans engineers. Fucked up, right?

6 Nov 2022 at 22:46 | Open on octodon.social
Christine Lemmer-Webber

I'm proud of the fediverse, as it exists. I'm not responsible for it, but I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I'm one of the many people who helped make it happen. I don't need to be famous for it... being famous for it is probably even unsafe. The people who need to know, know. That's good enough. There are a lot of other people who worked on the spec, like Jessica, Erin, Evan, Amy, who don't get nearly the amount of recognition I have. I'm grateful the right people know what I did and will listen to me.

But also the fediverse, as it's rolled out, is simultaneously the best option we have for this moment in history and also not ready. It's not the long term answer. We're working on that though. Hell, I'm lucky that I got to co-found an organization that might be able to build that future.

A few years ago I was working 60 hour weeks trying to make this damn ActivityPub thing happen even though all I heard all the time was that there's no way it was going to make it. Now I'm working 70 hour weeks trying to build the next thing. I'd really like to, ya know, get it down to a plain and simple 40. But even more so, I'd like this work we're starting, for the next step of things, to survive.

And someone else will probably be known for that work, but in general... that happens. Hell, you're lucky to make an ounce of impact in this world, let again get some recognition. And recognition isn't always so great either. It can be a real curse. Especially if you, yourself, are somehow against the grain of things. But also just in general. I care more about getting things done than anything. I only need to be well known enough to get the things I care about moving forward, and that's it really.

Anyway, rant over. I've been holding this in for a while. Thanks for listening, to those who did. I'm glad ActivityPub is taking off. I'm looking forward to the future. The state we're in is just the beginning. You'll see. And thanks for being here. Thanks for making it all worthwhile, making these efforts worth their while.

I'm proud of the fediverse, as it exists. I'm not responsible for it, but I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I'm one of the many people who helped make it happen. I don't need to be famous for it... being famous for it is probably even unsafe. The people who need to know, know. That's good enough. There are a lot of other people who worked on the spec, like Jessica, Erin, Evan, Amy, who don't get nearly the amount of recognition I have. I'm grateful the right people know what I did and will listen to me.

6 Nov 2022 at 22:53 | Open on octodon.social
Paul ‮etnomailgaT

@cwebber ❤️ is about all i can say, thank you for writing all this!

6 Nov 2022 at 22:55 | Open on soylent.green
caleb

@cwebber 💜

6 Nov 2022 at 22:57 | Open on mas.to
*

@cwebber sincere thanks to you and everybody else involved, you enabled something really special and meaningful to many, many people

6 Nov 2022 at 23:02 | Open on post.lurk.org
Ignacio Torres

@cwebber 💜 it’s great to read your story and to know that you’re in a position you like. I hope you achieve your goals and go back to human sized weeks soon.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:07 | Open on social.xin.cat
Whitney Loblaw

@cwebber 💜💜💜 and 💜

6 Nov 2022 at 23:13 | Open on mastodon.indie.host
⦺ irick 🐁🐈⚩

@cwebber
It was a hell of a lot of fun getting here too :) The people I got to meet in the early fediverse are still some of the most interesting and kind people I have had the pleasure of interacting with.

Thank you so much for this post. I love the journey that this amazing network has taken. It's gone through it's share of uh.. pretty heated disagreements *grin* but like, wow. We helped make something that is actually providing a real and community driven alternative to one of the largest empires that information capitalism ever spawned.

I love the fact it is so blatantly queer. I feel like it always had to be, tbh. We still have our fair share of problems to address, especially as it relates to PoC inclusion, but look at this blessed mess! Look at this shared history of persons. Of the result of hundreds of deeply personal arguments, empassioned speeches in the public forum and hundreds of thousands of individual efforts to build better and better online communities for our own sake and for the sake of others.

And it hasn't ever stopped :) May the meta never die :3

@cwebber
It was a hell of a lot of fun getting here too :) The people I got to meet in the early fediverse are still some of the most interesting and kind people I have had the pleasure of interacting with.

Thank you so much for this post. I love the journey that this amazing network has taken. It's gone through it's share of uh.. pretty heated disagreements *grin* but like, wow. We helped make something that is actually providing a real and community driven alternative to one of the largest empires...

6 Nov 2022 at 23:14 | Open on vulpine.club
Christine Lemmer-Webber

@Irick There have been a few small times some people have tried to rally some communities that are more PoC focused on the fediverse. I think the fediverse, collectively, was not as welcoming for that as it should have been. But that doesn't mean it can't be. A decade ago, the fediverse *did* exist, but it definitely wasn't this queer. It took a real critical mass for it to happen.

I'm not in a position where I can make that happen, but I hope it happens. I hope that the fediverse can support BIPoC communities the way it's served queer communities.

@Irick There have been a few small times some people have tried to rally some communities that are more PoC focused on the fediverse. I think the fediverse, collectively, was not as welcoming for that as it should have been. But that doesn't mean it can't be. A decade ago, the fediverse *did* exist, but it definitely wasn't this queer. It took a real critical mass for it to happen.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:18 | Open on octodon.social
Ludovic Courtès

@cwebber We all owe you a lot for having co-authored and pushed ActivityPub during these years.

It’s probably the case that many (myself included!) didn’t understand why it matters back then; we certainly do now. Probably it will also take time for Spritely’s impact to be more widely understood. We’ll get there!

Anyhow: thank you & the whole AP team!!

6 Nov 2022 at 23:14 | Open on toot.aquilenet.fr
DELETED

@cwebber Um agradecimento profundo e sincero, direto do meu coração.

Obrigado!

Você fez e faz o mundo um poquinho melhor. :heart_pride: :fediverse: 🌏

6 Nov 2022 at 23:19 | Open on red.niboe.info
Dan Fixes Coin-Ops

@cwebber <3

6 Nov 2022 at 23:24 | Open on mastodon.social
Juan Luis

@cwebber Wow, thanks for writing all this, you're so inspiring. Keep rocking!

6 Nov 2022 at 23:29 | Open on social.juanlu.space
wakest ⁂

@cwebber really wonderful thread thank you for sharing it with us. The people who know, know! You poured your soul into this place.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:30 | Open on social.wake.st
MxFraud

@cwebber thank you for sharing.

While I followed a little bit about bluesky, I didnt think about it from your perspective.

Personaly I'm glad you get to form your own path once again.

I'm hopeful that your future contribution will have a positive impact in my life, the same your previous ones did.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:38 | Open on tabletop.social
Jesse

@cwebber Thank you for sharing, and for all your hard work. As you said, there may be a lot more to be done, but I'm excited about the future of ActivityPub creating truly open platforms that can't easily be co-opted, and given how easy it is to fall into negative thinking about the future of tech and capitalism, that doesn't happen often these days.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:44 | Open on functional.cafe
Änn Euing 📜

@cwebber Hi, nice to meet you. I am clueless, but glad I came across your post. Thanks for your honesty. I will be looking forward to the next thing you help create. That's more than I have ever done.

7 Nov 2022 at 0:03 | Open on mastodon.social
garden center goth

@cwebber thank you for everything you are doing and have done. i am so grateful to have come across your work via being on here. 💜

7 Nov 2022 at 0:04 | Open on jorts.horse
garden center goth

@cwebber the dynamics that reduce your safety are awful. and the aspects of your identity that make you a more ready target are also the things that give me hope and confidence in your ideas. such a complicated thing to try and express; i’m doing it poorly. anyway, i hope you are caring for and sustaining yourself.

7 Nov 2022 at 0:07 | Open on jorts.horse
FiXato

@cwebber thank you for sharing, and for your contributions <3

7 Nov 2022 at 0:08 | Open on toot.cat
Adora (She/Her) :flag_transgender:

@cwebber that was a very emotional read and I'm glad you are here with us 🥰

7 Nov 2022 at 0:22 | Open on tech.lgbt
kemonine
Dr. Quadragon ❌

@cwebber
> But all of that makes everything I'm watching right now fill me up with a million emotions. It's great to see success. It's frightening to think that being too successful might make you a target.

Yes!!! As a very vocal, outspoken and public advocate of Fediverse in Russia, I think I kinda can relate. I'm glad the Fediverse is finally getting attention it deserves, it's like the dream come true, it's like Christmas up in this motherfucker.

It also feels like being naked in the wind with a giant target painted on my back. Because Russia is generally *name-anything-under-the-Sun*-phobic, so people of my type are not exactly popular here either, so I might get arrested, searched and if especially unlucky probably executed (some regions are still doing this sort of stuff, unofficially).

I'm also burnt out and tired.

@cwebber
> But all of that makes everything I'm watching right now fill me up with a million emotions. It's great to see success. It's frightening to think that being too successful might make you a target.

Yes!!! As a very vocal, outspoken and public advocate of Fediverse in Russia, I think I kinda can relate. I'm glad the Fediverse is finally getting attention it deserves, it's like the dream come true, it's like Christmas up in this motherfucker.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:00 | Open on mastodon.ml
Dr. Quadragon ❌

@cwebber (Oh, and I'm not even trans, just a humble bi/pan)

6 Nov 2022 at 23:06 | Open on mastodon.ml
solilo guy

@cwebber This all couldn't have happened without your ceaseless efforts against all odds.
Thank you so much, and I hope a part of you can just feel happy and rewarded that every newspaper and TV station in the world is currently occupied with discussing the merits of decentralized protocols.
Congratulations for apparently having reached the critical mass!

6 Nov 2022 at 23:04 | Open on computerfairi.es
Dr. Quadragon ❌

@cwebber I know Evanpro and somebody else of SocialWG gang was also going to be in on the BlueSky development. I believe that also fell through.

6 Nov 2022 at 22:42 | Open on mastodon.ml
Femboy Impersonator 🏳️‍⚧️🦀🏴

@cwebber <3 <3 <3 <3

6 Nov 2022 at 23:17 | Open on octodon.social
andrewfeeney

@cwebber Thanks for sharing. For a newcomer like me with very little understanding of the history and context of ActivityPub, the Fediverse and Mastodon I appreciated hearing your perspective.

6 Nov 2022 at 23:24 | Open on mastodon.social
maddox jacobs

@cwebber yea that must feel like youve dodged a few bullets, huh?

7 Nov 2022 at 0:13 | Open on kitty.town
Christine Lemmer-Webber

@maddoxjacobs It feels like dodging bullets and getting shot by them.

7 Nov 2022 at 0:15 | Open on octodon.social
maddox jacobs

@cwebber fair :love: ty for being transparent. your work means a lot to many ppl even if they dont know it

7 Nov 2022 at 0:17 | Open on kitty.town
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