Thanks to a helpful reminder from @mrgawrjuhs the other...

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!'s posts Post Back to profile

Thanks to a helpful reminder from @mrgawrjuhs the other day, I remembered that the local art gallery / museum currently has an exhibition of "The World's Funniest / Worst Album Covers"

So this afternoon we went down there to look. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of them there, from the bizarre to the ridiculous to the ... well, incomprehensible.

If you can get to Warrington before the end of January you should go and see for yourself. It's a free exhibtion. But in case you can't, I took photos of the ones that amused or confused me the most. I will post in a thread.

The introductory poster for the exhibition, which explains that Steve Goldman has spent over seven years collecting "650 dreadful record sleeves".

The collector is quoted as saying that "... these are all unintentionaly funny - records where the designers have tried to do something that's gone horribly wrong. It can't just be a performer in bad clothes or with an ugly face [...] it all has to be good clean family fun - I don't collect any record covers that are disgusting, gory, violent, sexist, homophobic, transphobic or racist".

Like 17 November at 15:15 | Open on social.chatty.monster

54 comments

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 2/13

Artist: Kolb (I think)
Album: Take Off Your Clothes (I think)

The picture shows a man with long hair and a very 1970s-looking suit staring intently at the viewer. He does not look like the sort of man you should obey a "take off your clothes" request/demand from.

Artist: Quim Barreras
Album: Recebi um Convite

A naked man with curly dark hair and a bushy moustache holds an accordian in such a way as to cover his groin. His clothes lie scattered in a circle around him.

Also, he is called Quim.

Artist: Ruth McKenny
Album: I'm So Hot and I Need YOu

A black and white image of a man with slightly long wavy hair, clutching a bass guitar.

Artist: Tovovac
Album: Jeremija

Although it could just as easily be Jeremija with an album called Tovovac to be honest. My grasp of Slavic languages is not what might be called proficient.

Anyway this features a man in military uniform sitting astride a really, really big gun. The barrel is pointing out from between his legs. He looks very impressed with himself.

17 November at 15:22 | Open on social.chatty.monster

Patrick

@losttourist I'd give that Tozovac one a spin personally.

17 November at 15:29 | Open on mastodon.green

Patrick

@losttourist Tell me The Handsome Beasts' opus Bestiality was featured?

17 November at 15:33 | Open on mastodon.green

Nick

@MrPDaniel @losttourist ok so I looked that up, and wow. So I thought lets check the band out, with a cover like that, they are either going to be really good or really shite. They are really 💩. Don't bother.

17 November at 15:51 | Open on mas.to

Patrick

@nicksalt @losttourist Thanks for the tip! (as that pig might have said)

17 November at 17:40 | Open on mastodon.green

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 3/13

Artist: Slim Whitman
Album: Christmas with Slim Whitman

A man stands in a smoking jacket style dressing gown with his hands in his pockets. He has a thin pencil moustache and a half smile on his face. Behind him is a dressed Christmas tree and some impressive gold candlesticks.

He looks like you might want to take out a restraining order against him due to past bad experiences.

Artist: Olaf Sveen
Album: Dance Party

Never let it be said that Olaf Sveen doesn't know how to throw a banging party!

Two couples, each male/female, are wearing unexciting 1970s clothing and dancing in a very unexciting, passionless way.

To their side, dressed in a brown suit, is a man with an accordion. The expression on his face makes it clear that he is strongly reconsidering his life choices.

Artist: Afro & Marco Polo
Album: Instrumentals

Head swaps predate the internet, it seems. A man has a cat on his lap. Their heads have been swapped. There is not much more to say.

Artist: Eddie Mekian and Ensemble
Album: Armenian Dance Party

Back to the dance party theme, and in case the excitement with Olaf Sveen was too much for you, you could consider moving to Armenia.

A man and two women are pictured doing some kind of "knees up mother brown" dance. Preusmably this was some kind of state-sponsored Party Fun Times record from the Communist era, as from the expressions on their faces there is someone off camera pointing a gun at them and insisting they made this record.

17 November at 15:30 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 4/13

(Serious: possible CW for suicide on one of these. Skip if that's triggering for you)

Artist: Hank Snow
Album: Songs of Tragedy

A hangman's noose.

That's it. The entire fucking album cover shows a hangman's noose. For fuck's sake, Hank.

Album: Your favourite TV themes.

An album of great TV themes could be great. Unless ... unless ... you chose a TV show about the Nazis and decided to put a bloody great swastika in the middle of the pictures. What were they thinking?

Artist: Jim Post
Album: I love my life

Judging by the expression on his face I would hazard a guess that Jim does not in fact love his life.

I don't know who the artist or album are here. But it's Swedish.

There is a man-frog hybrid wearing a bowler hat, clutching a ukulele, and sitting on a lily leaf while some curious looking fish look up at him. Despite being above the waterline one of the fish is somehow blowing bubbles.

Everything is brightly lit and in psychedelic primary colours.

LSD, kids: not even once.

17 November at 15:35 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 5/13

Artist: Gary
Album: Getting Down To Business

Gary (presumably it is he) is pictured in a white shirt and flared blue jeans. Hs is standing in front of a phone booth with his hands on his hips and, fair play, does indeed look like he wants to get down to business. Right now. In that phone booth perhaps.

Artist: Trevor Dandy
Album: Don't Cry Little Tree

A man lies on his side on the grass. He is staring at a small, dead tree.

Artist: Paddy Roberts
Album: Songs For Gay Dogs

A man is sitting in a blue armchair. We see him behind the armchair, looking back over his shoulder at us. Next to him, also on the armchair, is a bulldog.

17 November at 15:40 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 6/13

Artist: unknown
Album: unknown

Three bald, bearded men are standing naked. They are semi-covered by giant palm leaves.

That's it. That's the toot.

Artist: Tom Jones
Album: The Best of

It's not only obscure Armenian and Swedish bands in the collection.

In this one Tom Jones is staring straight out of the album cover. He has suffered an unfortunate clothing malfunction which has left his chest exposed and a large crucifix medallion is visible.

For reasons best know to Tom and his photographer, he appears to be painted in red paint.

Artist: Anna Moffo
Album: ... Sings Bellini, Donizetti, Rossini & Verdi

How better to illustrate an album of classic Italian opera than with err, a ladle full of tomato sauce being poured over a plate of spaghetti. Genius!

Artist: Elvis Presley
Album: You Don't Have To Say You Love Me

A poorly-drawn pencil image of Elvis singing into a microphone is partially obscured by a poorly-drawn pencil image of Elvis in a loincloth with a leopard draped over his shoulders.

17 November at 15:46 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 7/13

Artist: Unknown
Album: How to Buy Meat

A woman in a "take me seriously" business suit is pointing meaningfully at a large piece of meat.

Artist: Freddie Gage
Album: All My Friends Are Dead

A man is crouching down. He is wearing black trousers, a white shirt with a white tie (not the best choice Freddie, I have to say) and white ankle length boots. Why is Freddie crouching down? Because he is in front of a gravestone. Presumably all his friends are in that grave. Freddie didn't have many friends. Now he has even fewer. Poor Freddie.

Artist: Joe Atkinson
Album: I Have One Song

Despite his admittedy frank and honest admission, Joe has nevertheless managed to put out a full album here. Well done Joe, that's the spirit!

Artist: Anton
Album: Why Do I Sing?

I don't know Anton. I really don't.

But to ensure we get the message, the album cover shows not one but two pictures of Anton. In one of them he is sitting, with a black/red checked lumberjack shirt, blue jeans and, erm, Ogg boots? In the other it's a head shot of Anton wearing a suit.

Neither image really tells us why he's singing, though.

17 November at 15:53 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 8/13

Artist: The Pecker
Album: Introducing ...

A man with long curly hair is holding a banjo. For reasons best known to the photographer he has chosen the most unflattering angle possible to take the picture, which emphasises his belly.

No sign of his pecker though. Be glad for small fortunes.

Artist: Sean Meaney
Album: Does Anybody Know What I'm Talking About?

Absolutely no bloody clue, Sean. And the album cover doesn't help as it just shows a photograph of two ferries sailing across a remarkably placid sea, which inset is a head shot of Sean himself. Sean is wearing a natty bright blue shirt, he is middle aged, balding and wears glasses.

Perhaps Sean is a Siren and he is luring the unwitting sailors from those two ships to their untimely doom.

Artist: The Faith Tones
Album: Jesus Use Me

Christ on a bike, what the hell is happening here?

Three women with incredible bouffant hairdos are staring straight at the camera. It's hard to put into words but there is a definite air of Satanic menace on this one.

Jesus should not be using any of them in any way, no matter how much they plead.

Artist: Dick Black and his Band
Album: A Taste of Dick Black

Can't resist a bit of inuenndo, can we. Dick (who is not Black) is wearing an incredible tartan jacket and thrusting an accordian at the photographer. He's also got a natty little bow tie and a cheeky grin. Who could resist a taste of Dick?

17 November at 16:00 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 9/13

Artist: Unclear
Album: Musica de Maysa

A woman with a look of sheer murder on her face is clutching a cat. If ever a cat had an expression of "please help she is about to strangle me" on its face, this is that kitty.

Artist: Unknown
Album: How to Teach Children the Wonder of Sex

Oh bloody hell. I mean just ... no. Stop it. Don't.

I'm sure it's all perfectly innocent. Anyway a man is dressed quite formally and appears to be lecturing a group of children aged from toddlers to teens who are also inexplicably dressed for a day at the office.

A woman sits in an armchair looking as if this is normal.

I am probably on a list now.

Artist: The Ministers Quartet
Album: Let Me Touch Him

Four older gentleman are dressed in tasteful grey suits. Please don't let them touch him, though.

Artist: The Right Honourable John G Diefenbaker, PC
Album: I Am A Canadian

The album cover consists entirely of a black-and-white photo of the face of a man with double or possibly triple chins, seeminly screaming.

Despite his claims of Canadian nationality, I do not think he is screaming SORRY.

17 November at 16:06 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 10/13

Artist: Bamperos
Album: Tule Kanssani Kylpyyn

Five men in various degrees of baldness are sitting naked in a bathtub together. There are lots of bubbles, and in a nod to romance, there are two lit candles.

Artist: Russ Hamilton
Album: We Will Make Love

A wholesome looking young man with a black and red knitted jumper over a white shirt is smiling and holding a guitar.

Which is all very well but someone needs to tell Russ you can not just demand that your listeners will make love. At least take them out for a meal first!

Artist: Various
Album: Scottish Sing-a-Long

The album cover consists of the face of a man who has a ginger moustache and very bushy ginger eyebrows. He is wearing a tartan hat of some description. His facial expression makes it look like he is being slowly and painfully tortured, possibly by the means of bagpipes.

Artist: The Billy Cobham - George Duke Band
Album: "Live" On Tour In Europe

The heads of two men with beards and afro haircuts have been mounted on their hands. Despite this horrific example of Dr Moreau style mad scientist experimentation, they both look very cheerful.

17 November at 16:13 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 11/13

Artist: Red Simpson
Album: I'm A Truck

Despite the very Transformer-y claim of the album title, it appears that Red is not in fact a truck but merely the driver of one. He is pictured in classic truck driver pose (one elbow resting out of the open window) in the cab of a yellow truck.

Artist: Vera Matovic
Album: Samo Jedan Minut

There are shoulder pads, there are big shoulder pads, and then there is our Vera. She is wearing a satin black dress but oh my goodness the shoulder pads must be a good 15 cm (that's 6 inches for those hard of metric-ing at the back) in height. Apart from that, though, she's quite neatly dressed. The gold chain goes well. Excellent try, Vera.

Artist: Dan something ending in -rary
Album: Lady's Fancy

Far be it from me to tell ladies who they should fancy, but it has to be said that Dan is not the picture of stereotypical sexiness. He is slightly balding -- with a neatly done centre parting admittedly -- and a sex molestor's moustache. It does look like he knows how to strum a guitar, though, and there's no doubting the attraction of someone being in the music business.

Artist: Jean Pierre Numez
Album: The Nimble Fingers Of ...

A bearded man is playing an acoustic guitar. He is wearing a handsome tuxedo but ... no trousers. For Christ's sake man, where are your pants? Who on earth told you to pose for this picture without getting fully dressed?

17 November at 16:20 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker! replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 12/13

Artist: Half Pint
Album: Watch Me Grow

A man wearing a stripy black and white shirt and trousers sits on the bonnet of a car, legs spread wide apart. It's not entirely clear exactly what part of Mr Pint is going to be growing but I think we can have a good guess.

To really add icing to the cake, there appears to be a disembodied "Michael Myers from Halloween" style hockey mask floating in the car. That's just freaky.

Artist: The Beach Boys
Album: Pet Sounds

Finally, just to prove it can happen even to the best of them, here's the cover of one of the greatest albums ever made. It shows five young men with very 1960s haircuts feeding some goats.

17 November at 16:23 | Open on social.chatty.monster

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker! replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

#WorstAlbumCovers 13/13
There is no number 13. Counting is hard, I fail at maths.

17 November at 16:23 | Open on social.chatty.monster

Martin Howitt replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist These are incredible. I got as far as 7/13 before wondering if they had been AI generated. I mean, How to buy Meat?

17 November at 16:26 | Open on urbanists.social

Jim Spath replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist Quite the list though! I recognize only 2 artists:
Bert Reynolds > Tom Jones
[edit: oh, the Beach Boys makes 3]

17 November at 16:33 | Open on chaos.social

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker! replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

Actually one last thing (maybe consider this the 13/13 of the thread).

If I may quote the man who put the collection together:

This exhibition is staged in aid of Different Strokes, a charity which helps younger stroke survivors to optimise their recovery by offering rehabilitative services, information and advice. If you enjoyed this exhibition please consider making a donation".

The donation URL is https://www.justgiving.com/page/steve-goldman-1725875711082

#WorstAlbumCovers #WorstRecordCovers #DifferentStrokes

Actually one last thing (maybe consider this the 13/13 of the thread).

If I may quote the man who put the collection together:

This exhibition is staged in aid of Different Strokes, a charity which helps younger stroke survivors to optimise their recovery by offering rehabilitative services, information and advice. If you enjoyed this exhibition please consider making a donation".

Expand text...

17 November at 16:41 | Open on social.chatty.monster

The Goldfish replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist Thank you for sharing these and the donation info.

17 November at 18:11 | Open on mastodon.green

Sue Briccay :verifiedace: replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist

This thread is gold dust!
I'm laughing so much it hurts.

17 November at 23:03 | Open on tech.lgbt

Edinburgh Man replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist My response to most of these covers is...

17 November at 16:39 | Open on mastodon.scot

Clark W Griswold until 25-Dec replied to 👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@losttourist The studio rejected Jean Pierre Jumez’s first album title (“Songs I wrote while taking a dump”) but they let him use the cover art.

17 November at 16:37 | Open on infosec.exchange

Chris Young

@losttourist That Bamperos one caught my eye. It would be less weird if they were all in the bath, but crouching behind a bubbly bath like some sort of predatory gang, waiting for... somebody to get in the bath?

17 November at 16:24 | Open on oldbytes.space

TheSauce

@losttourist

Hi there, that multi-chinned chap on the lower right was our former prime minister (1957 to 1963), John Diefenbaker.

I can confirm that your alt text is correct, despite being Canadian, he was not shouting "sorry" in this shot.

17 November at 16:17 | Open on mstdn.ca

Sue Briccay :verifiedace:

@losttourist

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.
The expression on that poor cat's face.

17 November at 23:01 | Open on tech.lgbt

LibertyForward1 :v_bi:

@losttourist Every time I see it, I swear one of the "Jesus Use Me" is Stephen Fry in drag

17 November at 16:08 | Open on beige.party

Clark W Griswold until 25-Dec

@losttourist For those who only speak American English, “pecker” just doesn’t (or at least didn’t”) have the same connotation that we give it in the US. When I worked in London, I was complaining about something to my HR person, and she tried to encourage me by saying “keep your pecker up.”

17 November at 16:42 | Open on infosec.exchange

Iwillyeah

@paco @losttourist the Pecker Dunne is the man on the cover and got his name from playing the banjo. He was great really, a proper folk artist and talented with many instruments. If you don't mind me being a bit boring in your comments section!

17 November at 21:42 | Open on mastodon.ie

scunning

@losttourist
Jesus used The Faith Tones' hairspray to put a hole in the ozone layer.

17 November at 17:22 | Open on metalhead.club

Jonathan T

@losttourist That's Elvis? I thought it was Val Kilmer (on the left).

17 November at 19:11 | Open on mastodon.me.uk

Mister Moo 🐮

@losttourist Don’t Cry Little Tree is my favorite.

17 November at 16:20 | Open on mastodon.online

Seth "Football Collector"

@losttourist I'm saving these for my master class in what not to do.

17 November at 16:26 | Open on mysportgallery.com

a stinky ox 🐂

@losttourist https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=gxkZAyONltk

17 November at 15:52 | Open on toot.wales

(((X Æ Å-12)))

@losttourist M. A. Numminen is an insane finnish artist, singer, composer and author. Once when he took a cab through New York while drunk as a skunk, he saw a bar with the sign "Blacks only". He ordered the cab to stop, and despite the cabbie's pleading him not to enter, he went in. Inside, the music stopped, people stopped dancing, and the bartender stopped cleaning glasses. The bar was just hateful eyes. Then he started his show, and everybody loved him. He visited this bar every time he was in New York.

17 November at 16:34 | Open on social.vivaldi.net

Edinburgh Man

@klefstadmyr @losttourist Thanks for sending me down a rabbit hole! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isJn9NiKOtw

17 November at 16:59 | Open on mastodon.scot

Edinburgh Man

@klefstadmyr @losttourist I'll leave other videos as exercises for the reader, but both Rhythm Stick and Yes Sir I Can Boogie are on the tubes of you.

17 November at 17:04 | Open on mastodon.scot

Desolation Park

@losttourist The artist for the frog cover is M.A. Numminen. (In)famous for his covers of classic songs like "Rubber ball" and "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick" translated to Swedish.

17 November at 16:45 | Open on mastodon.art

Amy Maybe

@losttourist Great alt-text on these. 😂

17 November at 15:45 | Open on thepit.social

a stinky ox 🐂

@losttourist Olaf Sveen needs to bust out the disco biscuits.

17 November at 15:48 | Open on toot.wales

a stinky ox 🐂

@losttourist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOBM-DSzrqA

17 November at 15:58 | Open on toot.wales

@losttourist @APBBlue Oh, man. I remember the Slim Whitman commercials on TV. What a nightmare

17 November at 15:49 | Open on mstdn.social

Dalia_Z

@losttourist These are all wonderfully weird & creepy. Somehow the Olaf Sveen is the most off-putting. "Ladies, make sure to wear your lemon yellow & white outfits." Did poor Olaf pick his awful photo for the cover? This truly does NOT look like a party.

17 November at 17:08 | Open on mastodon.online

ToastyFlux :mastodon:

@losttourist the alt text on these is 👌

17 November at 18:51 | Open on exile.social

Jonathan T

@losttourist Olaf Sveen is seemingly an inspiration for Aki Kaurismäki's cinematography.

17 November at 19:23 | Open on mastodon.me.uk

billy joe bowers - Harris2024

@losttourist

Uh, there seems to be a mistake as "Armenian Dance Party" is clearly awesome.

17 November at 21:16 | Open on mastodon.online

Virginicus

@losttourist Armenian Dance Party looks kind of fun.

17 November at 21:24 | Open on universeodon.com

Iwillyeah

@losttourist the afro polo one made me laugh, and I just looked it up on YouTube and thanks, it's actually brilliant.

17 November at 21:48 | Open on mastodon.ie

Nick

@losttourist @mrgawrjuhs what a thread! Great #AltTxt! Hope "Jesus Use Me" is in there somewhere... 👍

17 November at 15:31 | Open on mas.to

Mr Gawrjuhs 🏳️‍🌈🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇪🇺

@losttourist
Glad to read that you made it along to the exhibition. And thanks for posting some of your favourite worst covers. There are some absolute classics in that selection.

17 November at 16:11 | Open on mastodon.scot

👻👻 Flippin' spook, Tucker!

@mrgawrjuhs Thank you so much for the reminder. It's been a miserable, cold, dreary day here and going along to that exhibition not only cheered me up but has hopefully allowed me to spread some giggling and joy around Fedi.