Email or username:

Password:

Forgot your password?
remote procedure chris's posts Post Back to profile
remote procedure chris

bitch you are a clock!!!!!!
31 August at 7:15 | Open on tech.lgbt
34 comments
kvvoya
parv
lnl

@parvXtl @chrisisgr8 every app on Google Play is required to have a privacy policy (it uses a generic Google one), it sends telemetry and crash reports, and i think you can set the alarm ringtone to something from Spotify or YouTube Music

31 August at 10:53 | Open on screaminginsi.de
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

@chrisisgr8 @kuriko Subscribe to Clock Premium+ to unlock seconds

31 August at 8:42 | Open on infosec.exchange
[GARLIC] Lunya :trans_verify: :lesbian_verify:🧄

@catsalad@infosec.exchange @chrisisgr8@tech.lgbt @kuriko@wetdry.world and subscribe to Clock Premium Pro AI ✨ for the latest AI Time™ technology

31 August at 9:14 | Open on catgirl.center
[GARLIC] Lunya :trans_verify: :lesbian_verify:🧄

@catsalad@infosec.exchange @chrisisgr8@tech.lgbt @kuriko@wetdry.world features include:
- AI Time™: timezones are too complicated, so we send your GPS location to our servers in real time and let the AI calculate the appropriate offset
- AI Alarm™: no more setting alarms manually! Our AI will decide when it's time for you to wake up
- AI Sleep Tracking™: we will analyze data from your microphone and camera on our AI servers to learn your sleep patterns and display them in the app. This data will also help your AI Alarm™ decide when to wake you up
- Your privacy is safe: We and our 62738362626 partners promise to always keep your sensitive data safe using the latest military-grade base64 encryption technology

@catsalad@infosec.exchange @chrisisgr8@tech.lgbt @kuriko@wetdry.world features include:
- AI Time™: timezones are too complicated, so we send your GPS location to our servers in real time and let the AI calculate the appropriate offset
- AI Alarm™: no more setting alarms manually! Our AI will decide when it's time for you to wake up
- AI Sleep Tracking™: we will analyze data from your microphone and camera on our AI servers to learn your sleep patterns and display them in the app. This data will...

31 August at 9:31 | Open on catgirl.center
vox
Gilgwath

@chrisisgr8 If a clock needs a privacy policy it's doing something that should be illegal, but isn't because of money. 🫠

31 August at 9:20 | Open on social.tchncs.de
arclight

@gilgwath @chrisisgr8 Or by regulatory or vendor policy, all apps are required to have a privacy policy including the Clock app (see jwz.org/xscreensaver/google.ht)

But why have such a seemingly nonsensical policy? Likely due to rampant abuse and excessive data gathering by bad actor apps that reflect the core values of surveillance capitalism - hoover up as much personal data as possible for resale and abuse. Line must go up, shareholder value must be enhanced by any means necessary.

31 August at 10:34 | Open on oldbytes.space
Xerz! :blobcathearttrans:

@chrisisgr8 come to the Fossify side :blobcatbreadpeek:

31 August at 9:27 | Open on fedi.xerz.one
jonossaseuraava
@chrisisgr8 this was the las straw that finally pushed me to de-google
31 August at 9:35 | Open on post.ebin.club
snowyfox
leberschnitzel

@chrisisgr8 that's what it wants you to think!

31 August at 9:44 | Open on existiert.ch
Volpeon :drgn_flat_owo:

@chrisisgr8@tech.lgbt

"We and our 4328756 partners are interested in your phone calls, contacts list, app usage, calendar data,... ​:neofox_pleading:​ "

31 August at 9:48 | Open on is-a.wyvern.rip
Bad Gardener

@chrisisgr8

Big Time wants your data: don't argue with it, or it'll increase your Existence Tariff.

31 August at 10:10 | Open on mastodonapp.uk
DELETED

@chrisisgr8 If it looks like a clock, sounds like a clock, and runs like a clock, it's probably harvesting your data.

31 August at 11:04 | Open on mstdn.party
Apicultor 🐝

@chrisisgr8 No. It only masquerades as a clock.

Delete the spyware.

31 August at 11:09 | Open on hachyderm.io
Nacroni

@chrisisgr8 WHY IS THERE A PRIVACY POLICY FOR A CLOCK 😭🙏🙏

31 August at 11:32 | Open on mastodon.social
_Syhmac ​:blobcatverified:​

@chrisisgr8 They gotta make sure you can't sue them if your phone shows you a wrong time and you miss your bus.

31 August at 11:43 | Open on meow.social
Gatekeeper....Harris BLUE WAVE

@chrisisgr8
Shit shame him..tell him the time is wrong...

31 August at 12:31 | Open on mastodon.social
Dragoniff

@chrisisgr8
"Well, if you wanna have some *winks* private time, check this out..."

31 August at 13:17 | Open on kolektiva.social
Galbinus Caeli 🌯

@chrisisgr8 Sure, but if you used to set certain timers and alarms every 28 days, then suddenly stop, I'm going to assume you are pregnant and sell that information to your right wing government so they can monitor you and make sure you don't get an abortion.

31 August at 14:25 | Open on astrodon.social
gkrnours

@chrisisgr8 they are probably selling your alarm clock to ads people

31 August at 14:39 | Open on mastodon.gamedev.place
John Weeks :mastodon:
remote procedure chris

*wakes up* oh! good morning everyone

31 August at 15:40 | Open on tech.lgbt
remote procedure chris

(feel free to tell me if anyone has a swe internship next year i'm trying to get that figured out early :ablobfoxbongohyper: )

31 August at 16:27 | Open on tech.lgbt
ari 💫

@chrisisgr8 i think for my mental health i shouldn't ask why a clock app has a privacy policy

31 August at 16:30 | Open on ice.arimelody.me
накси :blobcat_flop_woozy:
Mittzy

@chrisisgr8 And if you buy clock+ we'll use gemini to query the time every second

31 August at 17:22 | Open on mastodon.gamedev.place
Görllewin

@chrisisgr8 it's not just a clock, you can set alarms, timers, stopwatch, bedtime routines, sleep sounds, and it all integrates with Google Assistant, Google Home, voice command setc. So a privacy policy is absolutely necessary (and also a prerequisite for ALL apps on Google Play store)

31 August at 18:11 | Open on merveilles.town
xconde

@chrisisgr8 and it’s time to sell your information

31 August at 20:31 | Open on social.chinwag.org
O'Schell
Gemma 👽

@chrisisgr8
Next: find out about our clock AI features! You'd think "what does a clock need AI for?" Well we thought about it too but we figured it! Take the tour!

1 September at 0:36 | Open on piipitin.fi
Steve James

@chrisisgr8
"By continuing to use this clock app you accept that:-

* This clock will track your use of time, all the time, even when you are wasting it.

* We may withdraw time without notice. You are responsible for saving your own time.

* We do not guarantee that time will move forward at a constant rate in the fourth dimension. Back-up your clock to avoid disorientation.

* We may switch your time to an alternative dimension without notice.

* Time may stop at any, er, time."

@chrisisgr8
"By continuing to use this clock app you accept that:-

* This clock will track your use of time, all the time, even when you are wasting it.

* We may withdraw time without notice. You are responsible for saving your own time.

* We do not guarantee that time will move forward at a constant rate in the fourth dimension. Back-up your clock to avoid disorientation.

1 September at 21:28 | Open on noc.social
Go Up