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147 comments
Corey Taylor

@TheBreadmonkey this is me writing from beyond the grave to say I'm deceased after seeing a UX fail that bad, though in fact maybe not since I just clicked the Myself button 🤷🏽‍♂️

Nichelle Seely

@TheBreadmonkey
😂
What happens if you click the "Myself" button, I wonder? 🤔

But it's good to see that North Carolina provides public services for ghosts and zombies.

Mark J. Blair

@Nichelle @TheBreadmonkey Some fantasy comedic horror author needs to work this into one of their books!

Alyssa Voronin

@TheBreadmonkey They're prepared for zombies to request their documents. I support a county register who stands against anti-undead discrimination! 💀

Log 🪵

@TheBreadmonkey Nice to know there is an option for contesting greatly exaggerated rumors.

Earthling

@TheBreadmonkey We all know that that type of person who is so organized that they would take care of this themselves.

Howard Cohen

@TheBreadmonkey I'm so disappointed in him. Not only this, but he allows our power company (PG&E) to mercilessly victimize Californians with exorbitant prices for power. F**k that guy.

Ben :bc:

@rrb

Lol. Can't find it (other than a 'funnies' site). Friend sent it to me.

rf

@TheBreadmonkey the real answer has got to be "we reused the birth cert code", but I wonder how many times -- not many but maybe not zero -- someone was falsely certified as dead (like in a mixup with a deceased person with the same name, say) and has had to fix it

Philippa Cowderoy

@rf @TheBreadmonkey "missing, presumed dead" is a thing, yeah - and something that's ultimately legal in a way that actively faking your death usually isn't so much

Eleanor LNR Blair

@rf @TheBreadmonkey I don't think many people register their own births either to be honest.

Mike Ferdinando

@TheBreadmonkey Useful if you're a zombie or vampire, I suppose.

Mike P

@TheBreadmonkey Yes! I'd like to pre-order a copy, so I can be one of the first to read it when it comes out.

Tom

@TheBreadmonkey when the company off-site is next week and you've run out of excuses.

DELETED

@TheBreadmonkey

"This is the story of my life, I type it as I sit here filling out my own death certificate; my final act if defiance in a cold cruel world. But the story really starts when the baby at the glass corn and I didnt stop it..."

:mastodonworld: Petabytes

@TheBreadmonkey

The person whose death certificate you are requesting is:

indigoprime

@HoustonDog @TheBreadmonkey Come on. It’s 2024, you must know it’s not so binary. Where’s the undead, unsure and other options? :)

:mastodonworld: Petabytes

@indigoprime @TheBreadmonkey

the most sad part is ... the "I am Alive/Dead" choice for a #DeathCertificate request is real

* due to the all-too-common occurrence of a person needs "their" death certificate to prove it was incorrectly filed by the government 😬

indigoprime

@HoustonDog @TheBreadmonkey oh my God, I hadn’t considered that. I can’t imagine what level of bureaucratic hell that is

:mastodonworld: Petabytes

@indigoprime @TheBreadmonkey

with 2 years remaining on house payments, our mortgage company declared my wife dead because they regularly scour all the obituaries, and their loan department found a "match" for her name, 2000 miles away 😬

* it was a fairly unusual 3 name combo, but her middle name was maiden name and the dead person had two hyphenated last names

Linh Pham

@TheBreadmonkey I guess Me and I could fill that out for Myself. 😅

The Wookie

@TheBreadmonkey

For clairvoyants that like to plan ahead. I mean, if you know you're gonna die next Tuesday get ahead and don't leave your family extra paperwork.

Or is this for mob informants that need to neatly close out their old lives before entering the witness relocation program?

Urzl

@TheBreadmonkey I'm still trying to decide if I can just go ahead and send my mom's death certificate with the application for the life insurance they're all trying to sell her like 20 years late.

I'll take free money, sure.

Ives

@TheBreadmonkey When you connect the Ouija board to a computer mouse...

Mister Moo 🐮

@TheBreadmonkey When you copy the code from your Online Birth Certificate Request and just do a find and replace to change "Birth" to "Death."

MugsysRapSheet 🔩🐑🐘

@TheBreadmonkey
"North Carolina: First in the nation to support the coming #ZombieApocalypse." 😜

thepoliticalcat

@MugsysRapSheet @TheBreadmonkey I can see it now ... the crowd roars ... thunderous applause ... they rise to their feet as one ...

So help me gawd these muthafuckas are stone crazy. In what universe does the deceased request a copy of their death certificate? And WHY?

MugsysRapSheet 🔩🐑🐘

@TheBreadmonkey
This reminds me of online forms that ask you to select the year you were born from a drop-down menu, starting with 2023. 🤔

Nate Mathewson :crab:

@TheBreadmonkey That one gif of Nathan Fillion doing the hand motion of "um actually" as his Firefly character.

Cody Boone Ferguson

@TheBreadmonkey where is this from please? I have seen things like it but not this one and it’s wonderful.

Ben :bc:

@xexyl

Responses to this have identified!

Keko

@TheBreadmonkey Good luck with wifi being 6ft underground

Pusher of Pixels

@TheBreadmonkey if you click myself, it takes you to the suicide hotline

Govt synergy!

Martin Vogel

@TheBreadmonkey So sad they removed it. What if there are tax reasons to be dead for a year or so?

Barbablu

Actually I testet my tax return (Germany) today and and one option was the date of my death. ☠️
@mardor @TheBreadmonkey

Kirk

@TheBreadmonkey Well, it is North Carolina, so it's probably just wishful thinking.

Derek Caelin 🌱

@TheBreadmonkey textbook resilient system - captures all known cases!

Cefr

@TheBreadmonkey Zombie: "Trap?"
Necromancer: "Trap."

Nazo

@TheBreadmonkey It's like the lawyer commercials that start off with "if you or someone else has died." Putting aside the bad grammar ("you has died?") I guess apparently a lot of zombies contact lawyers?

paul

@TheBreadmonkey

"If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

still has to apply for a death certificate.

#empireBureaucracy

Jima :Compromise_bi_flag:

@TheBreadmonkey @arrjay The worst part of faking your own death? The paperwork. 😫

C.B.Leslie

@TheBreadmonkey "Yeah, Boss. I'm dead. Yep. Printing it out now. "

ell1e coding things

@TheBreadmonkey omg is that actually for real? 👀 👀 👀 🙈

Locksmith

@TheBreadmonkey
"Since you are dead, it is required that you have a signatory for this request. Please allow the signatory to complete the request from this point on.
It is illegal for dead people to submit requests to this department, and the dead submitter is subject to penalties not limited to prison."

Locksmith

@TheBreadmonkey
Talking about Beetlejuice... I was there watching the first movie, 1988, at the theaters. It comes to a point wherein we need to watch sequels and such launched 40 years later out of respect to the 40-year aged actors, because if they aged, so did we. :)

SpaceLifeForm

@TheBreadmonkey

Can confirm I have seen this before.

They are using some plugin software that logically makes no sense in this situation.

The dead voter wants their birth certificate back.

MegatronicThronBanks

@TheBreadmonkey That's a proper usage of edge cases. If one was issued for you in error you can still find it. Happens not infrequently.

Alan Evans

@TheBreadmonkey "Someone else" appears to be a drop down, does it just contain a list of everyone?

europlus :autisminf:

@TheBreadmonkey I feel like filling that form in sometimes - maybe they’re legislatively required to cater to death fakers (like the Australian Taxation Office [used to only?] have to allow thieves to lodge tax returns with their ill-gotten gains and claims for crowbars as business expenses! (yes, they really did used to have to, I suspect that’s changed now with cross-departmental reporting).

Soc-i-eTy

@TheBreadmonkey

Trick question? 😅

NM. I know. AI.

:mastodon:

Patioboater

@TheBreadmonkey Well, um … I like that there’s a different process for that first situation.

Rob Chapman :ohai: ✍🏼🐧

@TheBreadmonkey what's in the little drop down for someone else? Surely 'someone else' isn't a multiple choice answer....also the genius who decided to include 'myself' as an option, you just know he does nothing but shit post all day.

Merry Christmas

@TheBreadmonkey

This made me laugh Ben.

I have just left Toxic Twitter, Following you any chance of a Follow back?

Ben :bc:

@lyndamerry484

Of course! Welcome.

Follow liberally, interact, there are about 400x less active people on this platform so every interaction is worth many times more (so don't be disheartened if you post something and don't get an avalanche of responses). It'll take a second to adjust. There is no algorithm so boosting is the only way to share others content. Follow hashtags you're interested in. You'll want to follow Lisa Melton, Alice McFlurry, Deniz Opal, Ricki Tarr and anyone from the beige.party instance (I haven't done their links because they're always suggested and get pulled into a huge response thread and, although are very gracious about it, probably don't want to constantly be responding! You can find them through search).

I would also humbly suggest...
@Tattooed_Mummy
@fkamiah17
@JackTheCat
@purplepadma
@DJDarren
@amiserabilist
@davidnjoku
@dillyd
@mtechman
@futurebird
@ItsThatDeafGuy
@davep
@KingSara

A more wretched hive of scum and villainy.... ONLY JOKING - they're all lovely and interesting and interacty and you'll discover worlds within worlds within their feed and they're also prolific boosters so you'll be able to find lots more lovely people. I wish you all the very best. Happy Friday. 😊

@lyndamerry484

Of course! Welcome.

Follow liberally, interact, there are about 400x less active people on this platform so every interaction is worth many times more (so don't be disheartened if you post something and don't get an avalanche of responses). It'll take a second to adjust. There is no algorithm so boosting is the only way to share others content. Follow hashtags you're interested in. You'll want to follow Lisa Melton, Alice McFlurry, Deniz Opal, Ricki Tarr and anyone from the beige.party...

Ben :bc:

@DJDarren @lyndamerry484

Oh sorry - did I include you by mistake. I didn't mean to.

THIS IS A JOKE! BANTZ ALERT! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

(I'm so sorry - I cannot apologise enough)

Melissa Techman

@TheBreadmonkey Are you saying some of us ENJOY constantly responding, she said menacingly...
Well, sort of true ; )

I'd add @mikako6 to your short list, as she is lovely, shares great stuff.

Also, @CoachMark is supportive, interesting, and probably head coach (the good kind) for beige party.

Coach Mark ☘️🌊☘️ 🇺🇸🇮🇪

@mtechman Very kind of you, Melissa - I appreciate all you bring to the Fediverse as well.

@TheBreadmonkey @mikako6

Melissa Techman

@CoachMark @TheBreadmonkey @mikako6

So grateful for how you all make this place more welcoming, and positive. I left Twitter in a hurry (trolls, Musk, ugh) and didn't know how this would feel...
It feels like good to have kind people like you in this network. And thank you for keeping it interesting and visually rich!

mikako.num

@CoachMark @mtechman @TheBreadmonkey

It's been two years since I left Twitter.
Mastodon is a comfortable place for me.
Thank you too, Melissa! 🙏❤️

Coach Mark ☘️🌊☘️ 🇺🇸🇮🇪

@mikako6 @mtechman @TheBreadmonkey

Yes - a much better place with the ability to control one's social media experience at a much greater level.

Happy Friday to all of you. :ablobwave:

MiniMia 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🇵🇸

@handmade_ghost 😘
You'll like everyone else on that list too, if you're not already interacting with them.

Marge Wu 吴静玫
@TheBreadmonkey Inclusive for all of the ghosts out there using the internet.
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