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Shadow Cheetah

@Firlefanz @shom This I've detail is really cool: it's about the ideas, not us in many cases.

I know it doesn't come across that way for most NTs.

My theory is that autistic people are information first. Info is sacred, and sharing it clearly is a must for real communication and connection. No info, and we don't know how to act or feel. It's very uncomfortable.

However, NTs are feelings first. They have to feel comfortable before they can exchange info comfortably. Hence, small talk (and why most of us hate it).

So, if you start taking about your interest, this signals a transition. Their minds go back to step 1: establishing feelings. But then, when you dive into details, to them you are skipping their feelings, which must make it all about your feelings, which is seen as selfish, or all about us.

But for us, we can't be comfortable starting from feelings. So, we naturally want to provide information that we believe is cool, potentially engaging, and real.

I suspect that's a big part of the double empathy problem in autistic-allistic communication.

If you get the impulse to share more about your character, feel free! I can tell you put a lot into developing your writing skills. :D

9 August at 12:35 | Open on meow.social
6 comments
Hannah Steenbock

@shadowcheets

I do need to feel safe, at least to a degree, to even try to share. Or maybe feel welcome.

But yeah, information is cool. Facts are awesome. They are dependable, unlike the feelings of people - maybe that is the key. Facts don't change quickly (and unpredictably).

Of course, I write a lot about feelings and how they change for my characters. They usually have logical reasons for it, though.

Fascinating topic to think and chat about!

Thank you much for this talk.

@shom

9 August at 12:41 | Open on writing.exchange
Shadow Cheetah

@Firlefanz @shom Interesting!

I view it as a tier, not one or the other. So we start with information, which informs our feelings.

Allistics tend to start with feelings, which informs how they handle the information.

In the end, we all can have both, but our order of operations are flipped. XD

9 August at 13:01 | Open on meow.social
Hannah Steenbock

@shadowcheets

Yes! That makes sense.

Like different paths in a flow chart. (Back to systems, eh?) And we pick one and NTs tend to pick another, but it all leads to sharing and fun if we can make it work.

@shom

9 August at 13:07 | Open on writing.exchange
MFierst

@Firlefanz @shadowcheets @shom
Hmmm 🤔
Do both path's reach the same result, you think? I doubt that.

Starting with feelings and do facts later, tends to filter the free flow of incoming information, does it not?

Emotions often tend to lead to irrationality to make facts fits, or else invent new facts.
(see recent politics and social tendencies for an illustration)

It would be nice if both path's would lead to shared views.
It definitely is fun if it works, I agree with that.

@Firlefanz @shadowcheets @shom
Hmmm 🤔
Do both path's reach the same result, you think? I doubt that.

Starting with feelings and do facts later, tends to filter the free flow of incoming information, does it not?

Emotions often tend to lead to irrationality to make facts fits, or else invent new facts.
(see recent politics and social tendencies for an illustration)

9 August at 13:49 | Open on mstdn.social
MFierst

@Firlefanz @shadowcheets @shom
Right. You remind me of a conversation I had in a past life.

Me: "You are speaking for the effect your words will have, are you not?"
He was surprised. Eyebrows raised.
"Yes. You are not?"

"No, I am telling you the facts. It is what it is."
He: "But why, want do you want to achieve?"
"Nothing except I want you to know and understand reality. You can do what you like, but the reality will not be changed by mere words."

(unless when writing fiction, perhaps? 🤔 )

@Firlefanz @shadowcheets @shom
Right. You remind me of a conversation I had in a past life.

Me: "You are speaking for the effect your words will have, are you not?"
He was surprised. Eyebrows raised.
"Yes. You are not?"

"No, I am telling you the facts. It is what it is."
He: "But why, want do you want to achieve?"
"Nothing except I want you to know and understand reality. You can do what you like, but the reality will not be changed by mere words."

9 August at 13:07 | Open on mstdn.social
Shadow Cheetah

@mfierst @Firlefanz @shom The best fiction also contains truth. :D

But yeah, that's the feeling I have. I am still learning, though, and I can't guarantee I fully understand the NT process (or even our own).

This is just my best theory so far, and it seems to match behavior I see!

9 August at 13:12 | Open on meow.social
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