 If someone blocks you, they donβt owe you a reason. They donβt owe you anything. Pursuing them in other places to find out why they blocked you or to ask them to remove the block could be considered harassment. Donβt do that. Just accept it and move on. Iβve been blocked by people I respect, and it does feel bad, but you arenβt entitled to a reason. Respect their freedom of association. 40 comments
@steve I donβt think I said anything about not having the right to *ask* for something you are or are not owed. I only said they donβt owe you a reason.  @mpjgregoire @steve I completely disagree. Often, I want to block someone without them knowing I blocked them. How is it graceful to tell someone Iβm going to block them, especially if theyβre causing me any distress (whether knowing or unknowingly)? @steve @mpjgregoire How is it disrespectful to block someone? If someone causes you any form of distress, block them. Lifeβs too short, and not everyone deserves your attention. @mpjgregoire @steve It does not matter to me if someone chooses to block me for any reason. Most of the time, I would probably never notice. @ramsey @steve It doesn't bother me that I was blocked and I appreciate his telling me why β though I don't think I wrote anything unreasonable or impolite in this case. Ghosting someone is disrespectful. It's not the blocking. It very literally adds insult, to injury. Sometimes there may be reasons to insult. I think we should try to avoid pettiness. @steve @mpjgregoire Iβm not talking about people who are in a relationship. Iβm talking about strangers online. Whatever the relationship, the behavior is the same. And I didn't mean to imply the reason I don't block is out of respect. I can see how you thought that, and apologize for the mid understanding. The reason I don't block, is my belief that nothing was ever fixed with less information. @steve  @ramsey I made that mistake once, and regret it. It was the only time Iβd been blocked that I knew of, and it was from someone I highly respected. I should have left it alone, but didnβt. @ramsey I donβt see any problem with taking the approach of βI donβt know why this happened, but if itβs because of something I did then Iβd like to make things right with you. Are you open to that?β @assertchris I donβt see anything wrong with asking that once, but if I donβt respond, then the person I blocked shouldnβt keep asking. @ramsey this makes me want to make one of those motivational posters but with the text "be the reason they block you" @ramsey Yes, but it would be nice if there was a prompt to optionally provide a reason when blocking someone, or maybe add a duration for a temporary block. #MastodonFeatureRequest @fathermcgruder Temporary block would be nice, but youβre able to leave private notes on any profile right now, so you can note your own reason for blocking someone. @ramsey I meant a note for the account being blocked to read, similar to how forum mods might include a message when issuing a ban. @fathermcgruder I donβt think the account being blocked should have access to any of my notes about why they were blocked. @ramsey Not even a parting message with a reason or even just an FU? @fathermcgruder If you want to escalate any issues with the person in question, be my guest. Iβm not doing that.  @ramsey @fathermcgruder Sometimes I just put them on the muted forever. I don't wish them ill, I just have no interest in seeing their posts on my feed ever again.  @ramsey I agree with you. It was worrying to me when my sons told me that blocking people was perceived as either aggressive, or an L (lose) and admission of defeat in their teenage world. They thought they had to take the abuse they should be blocking, or block and be harassed for an explanation elsewhere, and ultimately abused elsewhere, too. It took some effort to convince them that blocking people is a self-empowering move that requires no explanation if they so decide.  @ramsey I probably blocked thousands of people by now. People have the right to feel offended by it. I don't care. My mental health is more important. I have been harassed by people I blocked before. One time, it escalated to my fearing for my physical safety and getting a lawyer involved. Don't be that person. If you get blocked, just move on. Don't dwell on it. Maybe the person was wrong in blocking you, maybe they weren't, but it's not up to you. You can survive without them in your feed. @ramsey For anyone who hasn't experienced anything even close to it: good for you; that doesn't change what happened to me. You can continue not blockig prople, or providing them with polite explanations as to why you block them, and you can continue thinking that to do otherwise is rude. Just don't harass people for an explanation. You aren't entitled to it. @ramsey Oh there was also another guy who didn't like the manner in which I shared my knowledge, so he went to harass me on every social media as he got blocked, then actually attended an event I was speaking at abroad and tried to approach me. Luckily I let my friends know in advance that the asshole lived in Berlin. They got up from the couch and he ran off. It's insane to me when someone tells me I need to be more polite to such people. This is not an isolated incident. @ramsey I also have friends who got contacted via social media by drunk perverts with colorful advances and other scary sh*t. I seriously envy people who had the kind of safe life where they feel like they can talk to people before blocking them, and not fear escalation or retaliation in real life.  @SenseException @ramsey I'm happy that it didn't close any doors for me. All these people seem to have disappeared shortly after. Even the speaker whose wife was harassing me on all social media (and who defended her actions) hasn't been seen in public for ages.  @ramsey I've been blocked by many Symfony Core contributors, this lead to me being totally expelled from the SymfonyConnect website, so it all depends on the blocking contexts, I guess. Blocks on social networks or email is no big deal, we all do it, I do it very often too. On websites and applications that are used for work, however, I don't agree at all, and I think it should be forbidden somehow, unless court trial says so. @pierstoval @ramsey Private companies and organizations have right of free association to pick and choose who they do business with, except for certain explicitly legally disallowed reasons (race, sex, etc.) @pierstoval @ramsey If you're talking about whistleblowers, that's employment law. A completely different topic. |
Gregory's Server
@ramsey
I've seen a lot of people make an argument like this. As if people are only ever supposed to ask for things they're owed.
I think what you mean is that someone doesn't have the right to *Demand* something that isn't owed to them.
It's an important distinction to make.