69 comments
@pixelpusher220 @jcrabapple This would have been a yellowed mimeograph copy of the analysis at Bell Labs or Lockheed 60 years ago but otherwise identical @jcrabapple @APBBlue For all those people in high school bitching that they would never use the math they were learning, YOU WERE WRONG! @kyleejohnson @jcrabapple @APBBlue "I tried to research the ejection speed for bird poop but found it a sadly under researched..." π @jcrabapple He forgot the possibility of the bird flying into the balcony from side to side, under the roof, just swooping in, pooping and flying out. @mdione @jcrabapple He also seems to have ignored the effects of wind; a strong enough air current might have carried the material farther than expected. But that could depend on the shape and density of the material in question, and let's stop here before we all get nerd sniped. Or landing on the balcony, checking things out, then taking off and pooping on takeoff from much closer to the window. @jcrabapple I don't often repost tiktok content on Mastodon, but when I do: I repost five minute-long algebraic examinations of bird poop physics @jcrabapple If a bird poops above the caboose of a train leaving Toledo at 15 miles per hour, calculate the speed at which the poop would land on someone wearing a new hat on the platform. Show your work. @jcrabapple deeply disappointed that he leaves out two obvious alternatives - an arc because the bird was flying up to the roof and 'lightened its load' shortly after takeoff or shortly before landing, or the equally possible 'blinds were open, bird smacks into the window with explosive consequences' then staggers away after a bit of recovery. @fencepost @jcrabapple @goleztrol @jcrabapple I know doves tend to be dusty, not so sure about some of the songbirds - and I think it'd be really obvious on blackbirds @jcrabapple How about the bird just flew into your window and shit itself upon impact. Most likely explanation.π€£ @jcrabapple and here I thought Tiktok was entirely made of teens and middle-aged tragics miming memes or jiggling boobs. @si_fuller that's probably the majority of it, but there's some high quality shitposting too. @jcrabapple I'm genuinely surprised. And I'm glad people are out there doing this sort of thing, no matter the platform. (Heehee, shitposting, I get it) @jcrabapple Only disappointing he didn't reference the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. But yes, very cool. @jcrabapple Agreed. Itβs all impressive calculations. πππ Thereβs a wind factor. If it was a very gusty day, a bird resting on the railing or flying by could easily pooped on the window at the right moment. π This is a great example of the scientific process. I have another theory though based upon evidence and experience. The bird was actually flying toward the window because it saw a reflection that appeared to be a safe place to fly to. At the last split-second, the bird realized it was glass and had an 'Oh, shit!' moment. @jcrabapple itβs also yet another example of high quality material on TikTok, despite what critics say @jcrabapple @lisamelton I *cannot* believe I watched the whole thing. Also, awesome. @jcrabapple Unfortunately, there's another more likely hypothesis. A bird flew into the window and pooped itself. We've had a few bird strikes over the years and never had a pooper. Also there'd probably be a dead bird there. @jcrabapple @jcrabapple donβt trust a bit of his calculations, he uses Excel. Also, @jcrabapple It could have been sitting on top of the balcony door if it was open, or even on top of the window frame. @jcrabapple it was good until he started mixing imperial and metric units WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS? @jcrabapple He forgot to factor in wind blowing the poop towards window. But from my bird investigations I would assume it was a lateral fly-by drop π€ |
@jcrabapple
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj6nigfaYE8