Email or username:

Password:

Forgot your password?
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:'s posts Post Back to profile
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

Hi, printer expert here! This is not funny, printers only do when they're in extreme distress...

10 April at 10:23 | Open on infosec.exchange
61 comments
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

Please make sure the nutritional needs of your printer are being met, and plenty of floor time is given.
10 April at 10:28 | Open on infosec.exchange
HollieK

@catsalad Is the printer connected to the fridge via the Internet of Things?

10 April at 10:51 | Open on mastodonapp.uk
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

@HollieK72 The printer and fridge are in a polycule with grandma's hearing aide

10 April at 11:03 | Open on infosec.exchange
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

Enrichment activities with cats helps with your printer's sense of wellbeing, and gives it purpose outside of work...
⁽ʷʰᵉⁿ ⁱᵗ ᵈᵉᶜⁱᵈᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ʷᵒʳᵏˢ⁾

10 April at 10:59 | Open on infosec.exchange
Teapot Ben

@catsalad the printers that like mayonnaise are fine, but the ones that insist on authentic HP sauce are very demanding!

(This toot probably doesn't work as well if HP sauce isn't known outside the UK)

10 April at 11:17 | Open on glammr.us
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

@teapot_ben Those aren't printers but their parasitic cousins, the shrinters...
10 April at 11:25 | Open on infosec.exchange
Michaela Sue

@teapot_ben @catsalad The Agilent Sauce just isn't as good as the original HP Sauce!

10 April at 15:16 | Open on universeodon.com
Toxy 🔬🇪🇺🇸🇪🇬🇧🇺🇦

@catsalad A dressing the problem is important, clearly.

10 April at 12:02 | Open on mastodon.acc.sunet.se
blausand 🐟

On top, they only sell Vinegar bundled with olive oil, so being thrifty on oil won't save you a dime since - as everybody knows - they clandestinely waste the vinegar in orgiastic nightly printer self tests.

@toxy @catsalad

13 April at 20:58 | Open on chaos.social
Ben Montour

@catsalad at least it’s smart enough to not like miracle whip.

10 April at 12:23 | Open on infosec.exchange
Kevin Thomas ✅

@catsalad this happens before sprint planning

10 April at 13:11 | Open on defcon.social
vxo
math blasterson

@catsalad I realize this was a popular joke in its day, and there are probably a dozen VGA camera phone shots just like this one, but...

I swear I took this picture.

10 April at 16:27 | Open on mastodon.social
Alan Miller :verified_paw:

@catsalad I had a whole directory full of snippets like this. It's a simple PJL command, but I'm not sure how many printers even still have this kind of minimal display.

10 April at 18:51 | Open on infosec.exchange
Valanha
Anyia 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

@catsalad oh I'd completely forgotten the mischief we got up to with the printer displays back in school 😂

20 June at 13:46 | Open on lgbtqia.space
That_Damn_Frank

@catsalad

"Open the paper tray door, HAL..."

10 April at 10:36 | Open on toot.pizza
Empterdose :antiverified:

@catsalad I was up until 5 this morning trying to RE my printer's region locking. Believe me, the printer isn't the only one in extreme distress.

10 April at 11:24 | Open on hachyderm.io
TagHunt
Icarosity
MzBlackwood :heart_cybre:

@catsalad that’s just Disco Mode. A reminder to everyone to take a moment to dance and have a good time, and also that we were supposed to have become a paperless society 30 years ago. . .

10 April at 12:00 | Open on infosec.exchange
ersatzmaus

@catsalad That's an HP Envy. Distress is too good for it.

10 April at 12:48 | Open on mastodon.social
Theriac

@ersatzmaus@mastodon.social @catsalad@infosec.exchange
The naming comes from how you feel about people owning other printers.

10 April at 13:41 | Open on plasmatrap.com
Doran Wetzel

@catsalad As a former help desk tech, I’d recommend unplugging it and gently lowering it into a tub filled with holy water.

10 April at 12:50 | Open on mastodon.social
ajn142

@dorzig @catsalad why would you unplug it? Just don’t stand in the tub… or do if they’re gonna make you fix more printers.

10 April at 12:59 | Open on infosec.exchange
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) :blobcatrainbow:

@dorzig But... It's already unplugged :blobcatscared:

10 April at 13:42 | Open on infosec.exchange
Irina

@dorzig @catsalad I can actually get at a tub of holy water right now (not that my printer or I need it). I have a key to the church and know where it is. But the people who do need it would probably be upset if there's a printer in the tub when they come with their bottles.

11 April at 6:20 | Open on wandering.shop
ajn142
Dennis Faucher :donor: :mastodon:

@catsalad Mine does that when I print Mama Mia tickets 🪩

10 April at 13:27 | Open on infosec.exchange
Lightfighter

@catsalad Kill it before it goes for the children!

10 April at 13:51 | Open on infosec.exchange
Kris

@catsalad

"Extreme distress", as for example "asking them politely to please print something"?

10 April at 13:52 | Open on chaos.social
help im a teapot

@catsalad give it some headpats and a comfy blanket :(

10 April at 13:53 | Open on cathode.church
Fritz Adalis

@catsalad
I just like that people will find this funny but get confused when you mention rabbits.

10 April at 15:41 | Open on infosec.exchange
🌕💀🔮🐦‍⬛

@catsalad It's hilarious; printers are the worst. Suffer, little printer, suffer!

10 April at 16:10 | Open on sometimes.social
Luna 🌙

@catsalad It is funny! Printers deserved to be laughed at when in distress!!

10 April at 17:42 | Open on ak.angelstrapped.com
Dan Aukes
Luka Rubinjoni

@catsalad Printers were made in hell and exist to torture us.

10 April at 20:42 | Open on mastodon.social
mmu_man

@catsalad looks like a self-destruct countdown…

10 April at 22:05 | Open on m.g3l.org
Jigme Datse

@catsalad I get we don't want to have printers in extreme distress, but the primary "trainers" of printers seem to "train" them for causing distress in their "owners".

11 April at 0:26 | Open on social.jigmedatse.com
मानस Mānas مانس
Ángel
Somebody program a Conway's Life in that LED matrix
11 April at 8:47 | Open on triptico.com
squaregoldfish
Gorobar

@catsalad let them suffer, it's only fair 😈

11 April at 16:10 | Open on rollenspiel.social
MagicLike | #AfDVerbotJetzt
syn

@catsalad good, printers should be in distress at all times

13 April at 18:27 | Open on ohai.social
Wyatt (🏳️‍⚧️♀?)

@catsalad Reminds me of a UV-curing ink printer :p

13 April at 19:39 | Open on tech.lgbt
LiquidParasyte
iamdtms

@catsalad It's the Christmas tree mode, turn off gently.

20 June at 13:49 | Open on mas.to
Jim Flanagan

@catsalad A printer is never the victim

20 June at 13:54 | Open on hachyderm.io
Moe Lassus

@catsalad That printer needs to be sent to the abattoir.

20 June at 15:41 | Open on mastodon.social
Go Up