I just read a Dear Abby letter about someone whose husband got a pet monkey, and now when she tries to initiate sex he tells her he'd rather hang out with the monkey

Evelyn is getting her teeth cleaned this morning, so Shankly is having a nice relaxing time not worrying about the small black demon who stalks his every move

Evelyn, your tongue,

New bed old cat

Shankly please I have to take a shower

Is that,,,, how you want your tail, or

Someone came to the door to deliver a package