@cstross

Island Minion: Sir, we've been unable to acquire sufficient Velociraptor DNA from amber for the new inland jungle patrol project and our consultants say they're the size of beagles.

Villain: Well, that is a disappointment. The CIA agents would just kick them to death. Is that what you're telling me?

Minion: Sorry, sir.

Villain: Well, find me the modern equivalent, something we can get our hands on.

Eleven Casowary generations later...