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Ricki Tarr
6 comments
M.S. Bellows, Jr.

@RickiTarr @SeekingDuck I mean, I'm already sitting here regretting crawling out of bed. It's unthinkable to me that my remote ancestors were foolish enough to crawl out of the primordial swamp.

8 Dec 2023 at 16:07 | Open on c.im
Ricki Tarr
DELETED

@RickiTarr @msbellows @SeekingDuck You know what life is? A cold, brutal killing-machine, which sucks out our souls, before grinding up our flesh, and bones, and spewing them into the bowels of Hell.

8 Dec 2023 at 16:09 | Open on mastodon-uk.net
M.S. Bellows, Jr.
M.S. Bellows, Jr.

@squig @RickiTarr @SeekingDuck
The tide recedes, exposing a lone sea slug draped enticingly across a dry rock, a single strand of glistening kelp accentuating rather than concealing her lack of curves. "Damn, she's hawt!" thinks my direct ancestor, painfully extending pseudopods and beginning the slow, arduous struggle to land.
#WhereItAllWentWrong

8 Dec 2023 at 17:55 | Open on c.im
M.S. Bellows, Jr.

@squig @RickiTarr @SeekingDuck
Seeing a perfect, juicy-ripe Maloideae megafruit lying nestled in the grass where it rolled after falling, a female Australopithecus anamensis climbs down from her safe tree and ventures a few yards onto the dangerous savannah. "Damn, she's hawt!" thinks my direct ancestor, seeing her usually-scanty buttocks clench and swell roundly as she struggles to stand bipedally upright. He too leaves the safety of the trees and joins her on the plain where someday soil-depleting grain crops and unjustly hierarchical cities will flourish. #WhereItAllWentWrong

@squig @RickiTarr @SeekingDuck
Seeing a perfect, juicy-ripe Maloideae megafruit lying nestled in the grass where it rolled after falling, a female Australopithecus anamensis climbs down from her safe tree and ventures a few yards onto the dangerous savannah. "Damn, she's hawt!" thinks my direct ancestor, seeing her usually-scanty buttocks clench and swell roundly as she struggles to stand bipedally upright. He too leaves the safety of the trees and joins her on the plain where someday soil-depleting...

8 Dec 2023 at 18:12 | Open on c.im
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