Didn't realize my wireless plan capped tethering speeds, but now it makes sense. When your phone gets ~10-15 mbps and your tethered computer gets .5 or .6 consistently, you know they're screwing w/ the service you paid for.
Welp, I'm ashamed it took me this long to realize, but changing the TTL on my computer seems to have released the throttling.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Android/comments/cmxp66/2019_bypass_verizon_hotspot_throttle_no_root/
BTW apparently this TTL hack works to remove throttling for tethered connections from a bunch of different wireless providers, not just Verizon.